Don't Go

We listened to tasks being delegated, in other words, we were bossed around. I would complain about the abuse of power and how it's unfair to expect a lot of labor for a very unfair compensation if I had the courage but I was just glad it had ended.

"Now go, do what makes you happy." he shushed us away.

We all audibly sighed and collectively walked away from the office. We all know what that means, of course. We can't actually do what makes us happy.

I can't help but wonder, causing me unnecessary excess time in this office when the meeting was adjourned. As I was about to step out, a familiar aura entered my inner circle. I can feel him near me.

He spanked me in the ass and a chuckle was all I could hear after feeling the flesh bounce and stings as blood rushes to my cheeks. When I looked back, he bombarged me with his hand on my neck.

I wanted to look back to the door. What if someone sees us?

His grin was the last thing I saw before my vision darkens and my knees weakens. I couldn't make a sound. I couldn't ask for help. Not that I wanted to anyway.

He guided my body towards the table and pushed my face down, forcing me to arch my back. I closed my eyes. We both know what was going to happen, it's not like there's anything I could do to stop it.

I felt him let go for a while, heard the locks clicked. I know he walked away but I can't bring myself to take advantage of the moment and stand up for myself, I have no energy left for that. And then there was the sound of his belt being removed. My skirt was lifted up from behind and we all know what happens next.

Pinned to his desk, eyes closed, my hands gripped the edge of the table as he thrusts into me. He didn't say anything.

Not that there's anything to talk about.

His thrusts went faster and my whole body was moving back and forth along with him. My head started to feel dizzy from the harsh movements. But all I could think of is that soon, this will all be over, soon. I just had to wait.

I sighed when he slowed down, thinking he was done.

But then he lifted me up and walked towards the couch. He placed me down on my back and positioned himself above me. His lips touched mine and his tongue entered my mouth agressively, but it was nothing like a kiss. It wasn't romantic in any way. It was just someone else's tongue invading my mouth without permission.

When he let go, his palm met my cheek quickly and I'm sure it was heard outside this office, if anybody cares, that is. He did it again, on the other side. Tears threatened to flow in my eyes but I don't really feel like crying. It's not like I have the right to. I just, don't deserve to feel sad or betrayed or invaded when I don't even do anything to make him stop.

He opened my legs and inserted himself again, without warning. I stared into the ceiling, with an expensive chandelier, the facade that all this is for professional setting. It wasn't. There's nothing professional about what's going on right now.

My vision goes up and down as my whole body is being moved by his thrusts. I sighed again in disappointment.

When he noticed, he was reminded that I had the priviledge to breath when I shouldn't. His hand wrapped my neck once again, restricting my air flow.

As his length continued to move in and out of me, my vision darkens. My eyes were open but there was only darkness.

I'm not sure how I ended up in the clinic when I awoke. I didn't even know I closed my eyes.

"Have you eaten anything today?" the kind nurse asked.

I can't even remember when was the last time I've had a proper meal. Food makes me feel sick. I don't even know why we need to eat, it's not like it's an enjoyable experience.

Well, as if there's anything enjoyable about other things I do.

"I'm fine, please. Prioritize other students here."

I closed my eyes to think. Why did I end up here? Did I pass out somewhere?

"Honey, there are no other students." she held my hand beneath the thin white blanket. I allowed my hands to move away from the touch and I realized I could move them. There's enough energy in my body to feel my limbs.

"It's past school time."

That was what made me try to stand up. But I couldn't feel my legs. And then there was black spots on my vision.

"Easy," she mutters before guiding me slowly on my back.

"You can rest here for a little while longer. Try to think of what was the last thing you remember" her eyelashes batted as she kindly did her job as a school nurse.

Except I'm not a student. I shouldn't be here.

I sighed and allowed my hands to explore my surroundings. They covered me with that white thin cloth and of course, there's white bedsheet covering the cheap mattress. I'm fully clothed in my uniform and when I checked my pocket, there were bills.

What was the last thing I remember? He was on top of me, and I didn't do anything to fight back. There's nothing I can do to justify that though, is there?

I fisted the money on my pocket and squished my aggression away, then let go when I felt it was enough. Looking at the innocent nurse who had no idea how this all happened, I proceeded to pull up a facade, act normal. Slowly, I allowed myself to stand up and this time, I was able to.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

There was ringing in my ear and I couldn't look up as the flouresent light was there.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need to rest."

"Care to tell me what happened?"

"I'm just tired. That's all."

It was dark when I walked to station. I checked the clock and was pretty sure I could make it to the last trip of the bus tonight. It was a long waiting time and my feet were sore and my head is ringing when the headlights of the bus slapped my face.

"We have a field trip at school, auntie. Can I go? Can I go? Pleaseeee."

This toddler clung to me in frustration as she tries to persuade me to fund for her school activity. Just another day of me being a living bank account for my family.

I pushed her off my leg gently and walked inside to drop my bags first. Removing my shoes, I asked the details of this said event. But I didn't agree just yet. I wanted to know if it's worth it, or if it's safe, or I don't know.

"Oh, come on. Of course you can." my beloved grandmother answered before I could, as she brushes the young girl's hair. She's so spoiled, isn't she? She deserves it. Or at least, that's what they say.

"Really?! Thank you so much!" she ran to give a super enthusiastic hug. It's like I was a mascot for santa and it's Christmas.

Hey, guess what? It isn't.

And that field trip is worth her tuition too. Is it really worth it?

"I'm gonna go pack my baaaags!" she then ran to her room. That's when I could stand up and cross my arms in front of my grandmother for making a decision that involves me paying, yet again, before I could decide. It's like I don't even get a say on anything here. And yet it's my pay check that's suffering. I can't even say it's my wallet that's suffering. The money goes away before even reaching my wallet. What would you call that?

"Nana, I know she means so much to you, but this field trip maybe is too much, isn't it?"

"She's a kid, for God's sake. Let her have fun!" she gestured her hand as if I'm a bird she's trying to shush away.

I gulped and thought about speaking up. How it's my money and therefore my choice. And how I don't even earn much at school and it's just enough so that I could provide for their medical needs.

I love my grandmother but sometimes, she's draining me out.

We can't even afford a caregiver for them, both my grandparents are sick and requires maintenance and I can't even use most of my time taking care of them but since they insisted they're fine and could still take care of themselves I figured, you know what? What's the worst that could happen? It's just an old couple staying in the house all day and having to take of themselves wouldn't be such a burden, right?

It isn't. Unless they decided to add another mouth to feed!

"I know she's an innocent kid who don't have parents anymore but do we really have to take her in? Don't they have homes or what do they call it, orphanage?"

My grandmother rolled her eyes on me and stood up, walked away to get her sewing kid. She sighed as if I'm wasting her time. Great. Came home from work to this. Could you blame me if I lose my mind?

Turning my back to Nana, I went to their room to see my grandfather laying on his chair, swaying and watching TV.

I would say greet him and even hug him, if he even remembers me. He doesn't recognize me anymore but that doesn't change the fact that I remember him. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.

Closing the door, I walked to my own room and took off my uniform.

Instead of changing into pajamas or other comfortable wears, I out on outside clothes and went out.

The roads are quiet at this time of the year. No one really walks around in these streets who are in their right mind.

It's going to be a long night.

Holding a bottle of beer in my hand, I braced myself for yet another session.

I hate this. But what else could I do?