The Dark Alpha

I love the forest.

The peaceful solitude with which it surrounds me. The unfathomable peace that it radiates, even though it is never really quiet there. The scent of moss, herbs, pine needles and wood. The secrets hidden in the thicket, just waiting for me to discover them.

Even as a small child, I literally forced my parents to take me to the forest that borders our neighbourhood every weekend. A smile forms on my lips at the memory of how they always rolled their eyes, but nevertheless fulfilled my wish every time in the end.

My forest is actually a small, harmless wood that I now know like the back of my hand. That's why I've been allowed to come here on my own for a few years now, and I make the most of this opportunity as often as I can.

Also today, I flee from the summer heat into its pleasantly cool shade. Luckily, I can cycle there, as our house on the outskirts of the tiny town where we live is only a few hundred metres away.

As always, I lean my bike against the old oak tree at the edge of the forest. After a few steps, the shadows of the tall trees envelop me. The rich, earthy smell of the dark ground fills my nose and I take a deep breath. In no time at all, I feel lighter and freer here than anywhere else, whereas I often feel trapped in buildings.

This oppressive feeling is at its worst in our ugly concrete block of a school. But fortunately I never have to see the inside of this building again, because I graduated yesterday! Today is the first day of my holidays before I go to university in the autumn. I spread my arms wide in exuberance and spin round a few times.

I love this feeling of freedom!

I have so many weeks ahead of me where I can do whatever I want! A heavenly thought! My whole body tingles with anticipation when I think about all the things I have planned.

All-night parties, girls' nights out, whole days at the beach, lots of trips and not forgetting the week's holiday with Connor by the sea, where I might finally experience my first time! It's never felt right so far, but after almost a year of dating, we should probably just get it over with.

Lost in thoughts about my holiday plans, I follow the wide path that leads almost dead straight through the forest to a small lake where I often picnic with my best friend Ava.

I usually walk along the same paths through my forest, but suddenly I get an incredible desire for variety. I'm magically drawn to a path that leads into the thicket to my left. A new phase of life like this is crying out to leave the old, well-trodden tracks and try something different.

It's been ages since I took this path, but I remember that at the end of it there is a small clearing with an old, dilapidated log cabin and a flower meadow. I absolutely have to go there today. My need for it is almost irresistible.

The path I'm slowly making my way along is probably very rarely used. The dense undergrowth on both sides means that I am constantly getting caught somewhere. Roots protrude dangerously far out of the ground, and low-hanging branches keep grazing my face and scratching my bare arms.

The ground is soft and densely covered with leaves and pine needles, so that my white trainers barely make a sound. Unconsciously, I start humming a song that my mum often sang to me when I was little. It's about the full moon and black wolves howling at it.

When the last note has faded, I slow down my steps.

Something is strange. Something is different than usual. Not normal.

I freeze in my movement as I realise what it is.

It's quiet. Too quiet. There is absolute silence around me.

Not a single bird is twittering. The chirping of the crickets has stopped. There is not even a soft swishing in the undergrowth. The leaves aren't rustling because the light wind has died down. Only a few rays of sunlight penetrate the dense green canopy. All of a sudden, the surroundings are gloomy. Dangerous. Even though I've always felt so comfortable here.

I flinch as a loud cracking sound cuts through the silence. It roars overloudly in my ears. In no time at all, goose bumps spread all over my body.

What the hell was that?

Immediately afterwards, leaves rustle. Branches break. As if something is forcing its way through the bushes. Something ... pretty big.

Oh boy! What could it be?

The only animals I've encountered here so far have been foxes, raccoons and deer. This wood is too small for larger predators.

Or so I thought.

My heart is pounding like crazy. The blood is rushing in my ears. My hands are shaking. I clench them into fists and bury my fingernails in my palms. Eyes wide open, I stare at where the noises are coming from. They are deafening in this silence.

Perhaps a bear has migrated here after all? The noises would fit in very well with a bear.

Oh my God, what should I do if I'm about to be confronted by a bear?

The trembling of my hands spreads all over my body. I hold my breath as the bushes and shrubs suddenly move. I realise that I should run away. But I am unable to lift a finger.

The bushes sway back and forth more and more. They crack, break and bend.

My mouth is agape as I see what kind of creature is pushing its way through the bushes and suddenly stands in front of me on the narrow path. Shocked, I gasp for air.

Oh my God! What on earth is that creature?

Its appearance resembles that of a wolf. Its fur shimmers in many different shades from dark grey to brown and its eyes are the colour of light amber.

But what doesn't add up is the size of this monster.

I've always wondered how a wolf could have managed to swallow Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother whole in one bite. With this wolf, the idea suddenly seems quite realistic to me.

The monstrous animal is at eye level with me, even though it is standing on all fours. It stands proud and tall in front of me, almost majestic, and fixes me with its golden-brown eyes.

While my heart beats somewhere in my throat and my legs take on the consistency of butter, I frantically endeavour to gather my five senses.

"G...g...good ... doggie," I stammer and raise my trembling hands in defence. As if I could stop the beast with them.

The monster contorts its face into a grimace. Its lips twitch, almost as if it understands my words and is laughing at me.

Damn, how should you behave when you're faced with a strange, stray dog? Why didn't I pay more attention when we discussed this topic in biology class?

You shouldn't run away, that much I remember. Otherwise you're seen as fleeing prey. And that's by far the very last thing I want.

But should you look the animal in the eye? Or rather not? One of the two is definitely right. Unfortunately, I can't remember which.

The giant wolf stands there completely motionless. As if chiselled in stone. Beautiful in a terrible way. It just stands there and looks at me.

Instinctively, I think it would be better to lower my gaze and look at its broad chest. Under no circumstances should this monster feel provoked by me.

I send up a prayer to the heavens that it will disappear back to where it came from. Unfortunately, I am not answered, because all of a sudden it starts moving. It comes towards me. Slowly. Step by step. Like a predator on its prey. And that's probably exactly what I am.

My heart is racing at breathtaking speed.

"No, little wolf! Be very good and stay ... just ... stay ... away ... away from me."

My quiet, halting voice vibrates because my whole body is now shaking with fear. But the trembling abruptly subsides when a light breeze blows the animal's scent into my nose.

I don't think I've ever smelled anything so intensely before. I would have expected this beast to stink terribly, but the exact opposite is the case.

It smells absolutely fantastic.

I sniff, overwhelmed, just like the huge wolf is doing. It stops an arm's length away from me, raises its head and draws in an audible breath. An unknown warmth spreads through my body.

The situation is absurd and unreal. It is insane and dangerous, but my fear has disappeared. A diffuse, inexplicable feeling of affection takes possession of me. Suddenly I feel intensely attracted to the huge monster in front of me. I feel the urge to get closer to it. Much closer. I would love to wrap my arms around it and bury my fingers in its soft, multi-coloured fur.

I'm standing right in front of a monstrous beast and no longer feel even a hint of fear. I must be completely mad!

I even dare to raise my eyes and look the wolf in the amber eyes. It tilts its head, takes another two steps towards me and then stretches it towards me to push its huge snout into my hair and sniff me. A pleasant shiver spreads over my skin and my whole body starts to tingle as the creature's hot breath hits my neck.

A moment later, the wolf bares its teeth, growls softly, tenses its muscles and leaps back into the undergrowth from whence it came with a mighty leap.

I stare after it until there is no sign of it and the rustling of the branches has stopped. Finally, I blink dazedly and shake my head slowly. There is nothing to suggest that only a few moments ago I was facing a gigantic wolf.

It couldn't have been real. I'm still standing there rooted to the spot, but the experience seems more and more surreal every second. It was probably just my imagination playing a macabre trick on me. It must have all been a dream.

For sure! An extremely lifelike dream.

And definitely nothing else.