Booya!
I couldn’t believe it!
I had won a date with the world’s hottest woman!
Woohoo!
I’d never have dreamed that I’d actually win that drawing!, because so many people had entered.
I put on my favorite shirt, took off my favorite shirt, put some deodorant on, and then put my favorite shirt back on!
Booya!
I was ready for action!
When I arrived at the restaurant for the date, a bodyguard of hers searched me, and then he said that I was good to go and pointed at a table where the hottest woman in the world was sitting!
I couldn’t manage any words, and so I just kind of drooled as I sat down across from her.
She chuckled, and said, “Cat got your tongue?” and I nodded and marveled at how she was able to not be mean to me even though I was already screwing this date up!
I never managed to actually say any words or eat any food, but she talked enough for both of us, and I think that I must’ve managed to at least get across to her that I was enjoying our time together.
After dinner was complete, she and I had our picture taken by the waiter, and she kissed me on the cheek as I accidentally drooled again while the picture was being taken.
Then we said farewell, and she told me that she’d really enjoyed our date.
I tried to tell her that I’d also enjoyed our date. but only managed to drool and nod my head, and I hoped that I had gotten the point across.
When I got home, I proudly displayed the picture of me drooling while the hottest woman in the world kissed my cheek on the wall in my room.
Wow!
Talk about the best date ever!
Then I heard a knock on the front door, and it was my next door neighbor.
I invited her in, and she asked how the date had gone.
I proudly showed her to my room and pointed at the picture.
“Oh no…” she said in dismay, “How are we ever gonna hook you up with someone if all you can do on a date is drool!”
“Doesn’t matter that I drooled.” I said happily, “What matters is that she kissed me on the cheek!”
“Dammit!” my friend said, “I’m gonna find you someone to do a practice-date with, and we’re gonna get your skills up a bit!
I mean, I’m really happy for you that you got kissed on the cheek, but don’t you want to someday have a relationship that progresses past the first date?”
“Fine, fine, fine.” I said, “I’ll play along with this date-practice idea of yours.” and my friend grinned and said, “Don’t worry, my friend! We’ll make you into a master dater before long, or my name isn’t Sana!…
