3: Failure

The darker, colder and more popular counterpart of the day, the still night. A young girl sat half submerged in the lively water, finely refined sand trapped beneath her body. The silky feel of the ocean tenderly swished around her frail body. Pieces of her short light blonde hair floated, gently moving with the waves. The same waves that rose and fell during the day continued to rise and fall in the open darkness of the night. Like a horse running the same track, over and over till it drops from exhaustion. There was nowhere for her to be, and nothing was said or heard. She was caressed by solitude, all life in the water was asleep except for her. Forced awake by a single curse, she was alone.

The Stars above glittered proudly, the girl responded with an awkward smile to their compliments. A single white seashell emerged from the sand beside her dainty hands, a gift from those above the clouds. Small with a pearly iridescent finish, like a shell you might find on the pretty pearl necklace of your grandmother. Running her thumb on the smooth part of the shell, she subconsciously compared it to her own soft skin. The short haired girl gently clasped the shell between her hands and brought them close to her chest, holding them over her heart. A comfortable warmth circulated throughout her body as the next wave of water swam up to her. This faux warmth reminded her of the reason she was here.

She glanced at the old brownish bruises on her left arm, and all the small purple incisions on her thighs. Some Stars shook their heads in disappointment, others feeling useless pity. Tainting her holy mortal form, the Heavens were displeased. She was a gift, carefully curated in a factory but one of a kind. Catching the eye of countless workers, stolen and put on auction for a higher price.

Never having a mirror, her trust in others’ judgement was interrogated by doubt. All she didn’t dare to understand were ignored or forgotten, stored away below the floors. The easiest way to win was to follow what was expected of her. The girl sat up and brought her legs close to her chest, they couldn’t judge her like this. She buried her face in her knees and hid her conflicted expression. It felt like the struggle to refuse food offered by a friend’s mother.

The salty water absorbed into her wet hair and stuck to the back of her neck, leaving an aguishly sticky feeling. It’s a shame she was missing a hair tie today, she always had one for her friend. Hints of salty smells in the air made her queasy, she wanted to stand up and never indulge in the water again. She wanted to live in a desert, possibly craving water but ultimately forgetting it’s salvation.

Her breath hitched slightly at the thought, how far would she walk before finding an actual oasis? Her beating heart changed its rhythm and played a familiar tune in her ears as she thought of one girl she knew. Her frustration at this unwanted plethora of emotions caused a tear to form, followed by a storm of them soon after. When she had fallen this far, not even her own sobs could break her free.

Unsurprisingly, her own droplets of salty water quickly formed into delicate little pearls. They fell into the water, not landing far from her. This sight only provoked her feelings further, but never would she fall to that expectation.

She stood on her feet, ignoring the burning warmth streaming from her angry eyes. The ocean breeze shifted her bangs out of place, causing them to fall in a position that framed her fierce and unforgiving expression. All the resentment she’s held in her heart formed together like a pretty glass blown vase, what was stopping her from shattering it? Why would she fear being forced to pick up the shards with her bare hands?

The girl spent a brief second thinking of every brushstroke she wasted on trying to craft a pleasant painting, a verdant garden for people who meant nothing to her. She dropped to the ground, water momentarily moving from her path and creating a violent splash. She kept her whole head submerged in the water, recklessly testing the limit of how long she might last cut off from oxygen. While under the water, she felt a disappointment due to the bottom layer having minimal difference in temperature to the surface.

Her moment of solace with her hearing impaired was destroyed with a strong cutting force, her head is forced to resurface. She glared at the Stars above her, not minding their unforgiving curses of her name. “Harumi..” they hummed in low voices, like she had answered a clearly redundant question.

Her scowl never wavered, not even for a second. Every seed she had carefully planted had been mercilessly plowed over with industrial machines. Loud, raging, and unempathetic. She did not wish for peace, she wished for revenge. But how would she get it? She knew well that there was no chance of her claiming victory over the Heavens.

With a sigh she admired the pretty shell given to her once more before throwing it far into the deep water, praying to never come across it again. Harumi took every last remaining drop of love she’s forced over the years, and channeled it into a more powerful and destructive hate.

In the distance, she saw dark and brooding storm clouds forming. To this sight, she vigorously fought the thrashing waves, exhausting her strength in order to return to the dry shore. Movements of water that pretended to hold her with fondness could no longer act so convincingly. Against the universe’s will, Harumi arrived safely to the soft escape of the untouched sand. Her feet sank lightly as she stepped on the area between the water and the rest of the beach. After numerous stumbling while racing away from the last drags of the ocean waves, she reached an umbrella resting on a tall palm tree. She firmly held the side of the tree's rough bark as she coughed a few times and tried to catch her breath. Her knees buckled and she collapsed at the tree’s base, it had been a while since she physically pushed herself to such an extent.

Looking at her shaky hands, she let out a partly relieved sigh as a wacky smile creeped on her cracked lips. She accomplished something thought to be impossible. Harumi turned to face the Moon, who was met with the excited expression of a child who had just made a discovery. The Moon nodded slowly with a fond smile resting on her face. Harumi’s realization had come to pure fruition, there was only one thing she cared for. All she wanted was to bask in the soft glow of the Moon, hoping her friend would light a better path for her.

Harumi was filled with disdain. But before another thought was born, their intimate interaction came to an untimely end after a few short breaths. The Moon grew unnerved at the nearing sunrise, it was far too early in the night for the sun to mark a new day. They must be after Harumi. The Moon’s face shifted to one of concern, desperately trying to warn her beloved mortal friend of the dangers awaiting her. To the girl’s momentary shock, the maiden in the sky spoke to her for the first time. No more than five words were uttered, ‘Harumi, you are in danger.’

The sky exploded with light, bright hues of orange and yellow tearing through the darkness. Wings wider than the sea rose with the Sun, sharp eyes darting unnaturally in search of their night blooming flower. The girl watched in terror as the day began and her guiding light faded away, she was left forcefully abandoned.

Stranded on this one island gifted to her, Harumi had no new hidden paths to follow. She quickly scanned any route for escape; a boat, a plane, a road for her to run on. Anything to get away from being caught immediately.

Finally, a last gift of favour is granted to her and she is shown a way. A small trail leisurely climbing up a mountain, the same one leading to where she first met the Moon. Anything that remained of her friend, she would blindly follow. Even if she was aware it would lead her to death, Harumi would follow the Moon into the trenches of empty despair. Desperate to survive and see the star filled sky, she relentlessly ripped through hanging overgrown plants and ran without destination.

It would only be a matter of time before she was taken by the Angels. In her mind, the worst one of all to deal with was the Seraphim. Fiery being of divinity, his heart for others seemed to be deeply frozen despite the appearance that he was constantly burning. ‘It would be annoying to fall in defeat to that one,’ she dreaded the thought.

The world went silent and for a moment, and Harumi was deceived by the sight of darkness. Her surroundings weren’t changing, it was simply herself. Her vision went blurry and blotches of darkness clouded her eyes. Her throat felt constricted, like a snake was tightening around her neck. The air reaching her lungs was nonexistent. Only then did she realize the true effect of consequence. She lost, and this was the last time she would feel the comfort of a space devoid of any light. Her last breath was taken, and her final words were never uttered. Never would the Moon know how important she truly was to Harumi.

The Sun grinned with a sense of triumph and victory, it was a sickening sight. Like of an immoral money hungry old man, his pleasure was the complete opposite of what anyone wanted to witness. Heaven wins again, it’s been established many times that God is absolute. The highest ranking servants of the Heavens, the Angels have stolen a precious life.

Despite having fulfilled the Sun’s wishes, they defied their God’s. Their cores became unstable and quivered, they hadn’t meant to kill her. What kind of divine punishment would this result in? Would they return to being mortals, forced to be capable of dying again? They prayed together, showing their sense of guilt and regret for murdering their favourite girl.

With an expression of boredom, the Sun scoffed at the Angels’ actions. If they were going to regret killing, they should’ve been smarter. The Sun returned to its rightful place in the other sky, not allowing the winged monsters to mourn in fear with a clear blue sky above them. The Seraphim shook his head slowly, preparing himself to wrongfully dispose of Harumi’s body.

They all stared in collective silence and shame at the beautiful girl’s corpse. Her skin which once looked so pure and alive was tarnished with unforgivable marks and bruises. Every shade of red, purple and brown could be seen littered across her body. Her blonde hair was disheveled, falling in places that didn’t compliment the soft gracefulness of her usual demeanour. The last thing left on her face was an undeniable expression of pure detest toward the world.

The Angels lifted Harumi’s body and held it with the tender gentleness they should’ve treated her with when she was still able to experience it for herself. There was a phrase that someone once told her, ‘you are worth more dead than when you’re alive.’ It had been used in the context of organ donations and giving your body to science. Though in this setting, you’d figure that the body is worth nothing. She had her chance, and it was stolen by murderers who call themselves servants of God.

The monsters carried her body to the edge of this side of the world, a place where neither the Sun or Moon could find her. The Seraphim expressed his gratitude to the others for helping him carry the girl, and dismissed them. He was willing to take responsibility for himself as well as the others. On a small wooden boat, he glided through the water with Harumi’s body beside him. The air above was thick and groggy, minimizing his view. He placed a lantern on the seat in front of him, and lit the candle inside with the weak flames left in his fingertips.

He stopped once reaching a place he would get lost in if he continued any further. The Seraphim Angel gave Harumi a solemn smile and gently placed her stiff body into the cold, dead water. As he slowly got farther from where he left her, he looked back and prayed one last time for her soul to reach a kinder place.

Harumi floated lifelessly in the open sea, infinite masses of empty water beneath her. The girl’s eyes were dull like unpolished chunks of green aventurine, and her hair was slightly matted. She would’ve been afraid to let the Moon see her like this.