Chapter One - Fairy Training
He put down his phone and raised his glass of whisky. Drowning his loneliness and his self-loathing with something he hated but easily numbed the pain. The bar was quite empty as it was almost time to close, but Johnny was trying to spend every last second there.
The self-isolation he had given himself was just something he thought could be fine with, especially after all that had happened in the past couple of years. But it’s led him to stay within his apartment and only come out sometimes to drink till he needs to sleep.
What a sad virgin.
“Mojito, please.” A woman told the bartender, sitting next to Johnny. This alerted him, cause of how strong he is as a virgin, this obviously made him worry and stress quite quickly. “Hi there!” The woman greeted Johnny as her gaze landed on him.
He turned his head from the cup of whisky to the woman, even locking eyes with the woman making him as nervous as he could be. “Wassup...” He responded. Oh how awkward that was.
“I’m doing pretty good, how about you?” The woman answered, taking the greeting in the “wassup?” kind of form. “I’m sorry... I don’t really talk to girls.” He responded as he averted his gaze while speaking. The dude really just folded right then and there.
“Huh?” The woman got out as she had a confused look on her face. “Well... my name is Kyu; nice to meet you.” She told him. “Johnny. That’s my name.” He returned. “Right...” Kyu responded, weirded out by the formatting of how he said that. “You good, man? You look like I have you hostage or something.” “My bad, I should just leave...”
“Or... Or you could just talk to me and breath a little.” She told him. “That’s hard to do.” He replied. “It’s hard for you to breathe?”
Johnny had finally locked eyes with the girl, letting the girl get a good look at the man. “Ugh, you look too much like him...” Kyu commented. “What?” “Nothing.”
“This might work out though...” Kyu told herself as she looked down at her phone, which was really cutesy and far from anything that most people have. “Listen, I gotta be somewhere, I’ll see you soon, okay?” The girl told him, taking her phone and swiftly leaving the bar.
Johnny didn’t know what to think of the situation as it happened almost in an instant, but he dealt with it like he dealt with some stuff, taking another sip of his whisky. He sighed soon after, going back to contemplating what to do with himself.
Later that night...
Johnny was asleep in his bed in his quiet apartment, which was a usual silence that would fill the apartment since well, it was only him. Or so it was, until now.
“Hey, Johnny! Time to rise and shine!” A familiar voice spoke. Johnny kept snoring as the voice didn’t come close to waking him up. “I said GET UP!” The voice demanded, raising her voice slightly. “I’m up... I’m up...” He told the voice right before he just started to snore again. “Guess I’m gonna have to pull these covers off...”
Johnny’s eyes snapped open like a crackhead’s, knowing well that if he got his covers pulled off then the voice would see his dick and balls. “What is g-... what the?” Johnny questioned as he stared at the woman before him. “Who are you?”
“How don’t you recognize this adorable face? It’s your friend Kyu, from the bar.” Kyu informed him. “But... you’re like...” “A fairy.” He noted. “Really? I’m surprised you didn’t mistake me for a centaur.”
“You’re also a bitch.” Johnny added after her remark. “But that bar disguise was pretty clever, you gotta admit.” Kyu complimented, herself, as she held up a picture of her in her disguise and a normal picture of her. He looked at both pictures, noting how otherworldly the background was.
“And don’t confuse me with common fairies, I am a love fairy after all which is like, ten times better than those bozos.”
“What the hell is a love fairy?” Johnny questioned, leaning up. “Well, as a love fairy, it’s my job to help poor guys like you talk to some ladies,” Kyu explained.
“Just what I do.”
“Should let you know all my other clients are probably knee-deep in some cooch right now...” Kyu added. “But, you... you are gonna be my greatest accomplishment yet.” “Why?” He asked. “I’ll tell you some other time,” Kyu answered. “Why not now?” Johnny asked.
“Man, all these questions... can’t I just help a brother out?” Kyu questioned, obviously not liking all of Johnny’s questions. “Now, it’s my turn...”
“How many girls have you talked to within the past couple of weeks?”
“Like real girls?” He questioned.
“Oh my god...” Kyu let out as she placed her hand over her mouth. “This is worse than I thought.” “I didn’t even answer your question!” Johnny revolted, confused about why she said that. “Alright, let’s go. Put on your underwear and let me go teach you some lessons to help with this disaster.” Kyu directed as she walked towards the doorway.
He was caught off guard by how she knew he was nude under the covers but brushed it off since it was the last thing he needed to question in the situation he was in right now. He quickly threw on what anybody at midnight would wear, which was just a hoodie, some pajama bottoms, and some sneakers. “Where are we going?” He asked. “Some place close by, a real nice spot for lessons in getting laid,” Kyu informed him.
A little later...
“You know how crazy I looked, dressed like this, walking the streets at twelve in the morning?” Johnny asked Kyu as they finally reached the location. “I didn’t say you couldn’t drive here,” Kyu told him. “You said close by. I thought you meant at least fifteen minutes away, not half an hour away.” He argued. “Relax, man. We got here, didn’t we?” Kyu appealed to him. “I’m not even yelling,” Johnny told the fairy.
“Alright, alright... time to give you some lessons in getting laid.” She started. “Or at least talking to a girl...” She added. Johnny sat down at the outdoor lounge, looking around to see if anyone would catch him being taught lessons by a love fairy. It would be tough to explain that to a stranger who catches him.
“So, Johnny... have you at least talked to a girl anytime within the last couple of years?” Kyu asked, turning around to Johnny. “Yeah, but it’s been a while if I’m being honest.” He answered. “I can tell.” Kyu teased.
“Fuck you, man.” Johnny joked, getting a kick out of Kyu making fun of him. Kyu laughed along with him, sharing a nice moment between them both. “So do you know how to carry a conversation?” She asked. “Well... no. Not really.” He admitted. “Okay, okay...”
“Always remember to have something interesting to talk about when talking to a girl. Don’t talk about typical everyday things for a long time, and keep that reserved for conversation starters...” Kyu went on and on for at least 30 minutes about everything he needed to know. He listened carefully, taking note of every little thing the fairy mentioned to him.
“So you got all of that, right?” Kyu questioned. “To my surprise, yeah,” Johnny responded to her. “Have you really?” Kyu questioned again as she looked into his eyes. “Yeah, really.” He answered as he looked her back in her eyes. “Are you sure?” Kyu questioned once again as she kept staring at him. “Yes, I’m sure.” He answered, returning the gaze.
“Alright, looks like you’re the latest graduate of Kyu Sugardust’s School for Hopeless Virgins!” She informed him. “Sugardust?” He questioned. “More like Sugartits.”
“This is why you’re a virgin.”
Johnny and Kyu laughed at each other once again, showing how well-acquainted they had already become. “Anyways...” “Let’s get back to your apartment. You need to get up bright and early tomorrow!” Kyu told him. “For what?” He questioned as he stood up from his seat. “To get your ass out there and talk to some ladies!”
“Wait what?” He questioned, the statement catching him by absolute surprise.
