Day 0 Part 1
ALPHA MIGUEL MORENO
It was a big week for a lot of my pack but for me, other than the additional scheduling and paperwork, it was just a regular week for me.
It was the end of one week and the beginning of the next week was marked as the beginning of the 29th Mating Games. My pack’s invitations had already been received from the royal island, and my Beta would be handing them out sometime tomorrow. It was a very exciting time, and I was happy for the wolves that would receive an invitation to soon meet their mate.
Two Mating Games ago, that had been me and my mate, Carmen. The last Mating Games had marked our five-year anniversary and this Mating Games would have marked our ten-year if she were still alive.
She would have thrown everyone a going away party like she did last time, my wolf murmured, sounding dejected and heartbroken. I felt the same way.
She was such a good Luna.
We were so lucky to have her, my wolf agreed. Life isn’t the same without her, and it never will be.
You can say that again, I sighed.
The memory of my deceased mate haunted me on a daily basis, and it was a constant battle, but I couldn’t get hung up on it. Not when I had a pack to run.
Before I got started on work for the day, I always joined the pack for training, and today was no exception. It was a good time to check in with everyone in a casual setting, and the sparring was good for my mental health. It wasn’t a surprise that no one had yet to beat me, but my warriors were improving, and I loved to see it.
After training, I had time for a quick shower before I got started on work for the day. With The Mating Games starting next week, there were many last-minute things I needed to plan and ensure went smoothly, and it felt like time was working against me.
It was very much go-go-go until my wolf demanded me to stop with the boring paperwork.
You’re giving me a headache with all this paperwork, he grumbled. Take a fucking break and let me have a nap before lunch.
I haven’t got time for a break, I sighed, but my wolf didn’t reply.
When he started snoring soon after, I knew he had fallen asleep. Sighing, I glanced around my office. I spent most of my day locked away here, working, taking calls, planning things, even eating meals here sometimes. If Carmen was still around, she would never let me spend so much time locked away in my office. In fact, she had dragged me away from here many times, and other times, when she walked into my office with that determined look on her face, I would grab her around the waist, bend her over my desk and…
A strained groan escaped me and I ran a hand down my face. I was tempted to take a quick nap like my wolf but unfortunately, I didn’t have time for that. There was still so much I needed to get through but before I could return to it, my eyes drifted to the single photo frame sitting at the corner of my desk.
Carmen.
She was wearing a beautiful red and white sundress–it was her favourite–and her hair was windswept behind her as she posed for the camera with a goofy grin on her face, and her hands thrown up in peace signs. She was smiling so brightly that the corners of her eyes were crinkled, and the tiny gap between her two front teeth showed. She was always so insecure about it and tried to keep it hidden, but I loved it. I loved every part of her.
Sighing, I reached out for it and ran my thumb across her face. It was the closest I could get to her nowadays and when I lifted the photo frame to kiss my mate, a lone tear rolled down my face.
My heart ached painfully but alas, there was nothing in this world that could help ease it.
It had been a lonely six years despite moving back into the pack house and having so many wolves around me all the time. Not a single day passed that I didn’t miss my mate.
It was the kind of loneliness that could drive a wolf crazy, and I did everything and anything I could to keep myself busy and occupied. Mostly, that consisted of training with my pack, Alpha duties and paperwork even though that was usually the role of a Beta.
I did so much fucking paperwork which was mentally draining, but it also meant I went to sleep at night exhausted and not haunted by the memories of my sweet mate.
It was her birthday yesterday and with The Mating Games so close, it had been an especially difficult past few days.
My mate, Carmen, loved birthdays. Hers and everyone’s. She used to organise a party nearly every weekend for whoever’s birthday it was that week, but that swiftly stopped after her passing. In fact, parties in general had ceased after the passing of their Luna, and it was only until I organised one for the first birthday of Luis’ eldest child two years ago that things had felt like they were remotely going back to normal.
Well, the pack was, but not me.
Carmen truly was the life of the party, and the life in me, and without her, I was nothing but a shell of a man.
If I wasn’t an Alpha and didn’t have a pack of wolves relying on me, I would have found a way to join Carmen in the afterlife a long time ago.
It was a dark thought, one which I kept to myself because I couldn’t show that kind of weakness around the pack, but it didn’t make it any less true.
When my stomach rumbled, I knew it was time for lunch, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my office. It was nearly one in the afternoon and I knew most of my pack would be in the lunch hall right now.
I loved to see my pack members happy and thriving with their families, but it was also a bittersweet feeling for me. Carmen and I lay awake at night many times, discussing our future family. I wanted two children but she wanted a big family. She could never decide between four or five children, and even though I never agreed with her, I knew I would eventually end up giving in because all that mattered to me was my mate’s happiness.
And now, today, with what would have been our ten-year anniversary soon approaching, all I had left was myself.
I was happy for my pack members who would be attending The Mating Games this year–the invitations had arrived and Luis would be handing them out tomorrow–but it was such a bittersweet moment for me. The last Mating Games, we celebrated our five-year anniversary and this time round would have been a decade together.
Carmen had gone out by planning a romantic dinner under the stars and then lured me into the bedroom to reveal the sexiest red lace lingerie I had ever seen. My dick hardened at the memory, and I wondered what she would have worn this time if she were here today. Any sort of arousal died as the sadness washed over me, and I quickly snapped out of the daze.
I was surrounded by wolves who loved and cared for me, especially my Beta, Luis, and his family, yet I found myself sitting alone and hungry in my office, feeling more alone than I had ever felt before.
Lonely in a pack house full of wolves, my wolf murmured, awake from his nap. I never pictured this life for us.
Me neither, I sighed. But we can’t focus on the sadness and as much as I hate to say it, we can’t spend all our time focusing on the dead.
Carmen wouldn’t want that for us, my wolf agreed in a melancholy tone. She would want us to continue living life and not just coasting through it, or living it for other people. She would want us to be happy because that’s the kind of person our Carmen was.
I replied, You’re right. It’s not easy, but it’s what Carmen would have wanted so that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Or try to, at least.
-
Layla Knight
05.10.2023
