What is your opinion?
Lots Of Potential!
"For the author's first story, there is a lot of potential here. I am a sucker for the "I will only date you for a bet and then dump you when I win the bet" because both parties end up falling in love and it is so cute. Obviously, I don't exactly know how this story will go but I hope it goes a little something like that. The characters are good and the plot is engaging. The biggest issue I found is with grammar and punctuation. One of the things that I noticed was the use of abbreviations like typing "ofc" instead of "of course". While this is fine to leave in for the parts where they are texting, "ofc" is not a part of speech and the words should be typed out. This story is good but it has the potential to be great, with just a little more editing and smoothing. Overall, great job author!"
The Game of Love
"Maryanne is new to Great Britain having spent most of her life in sunny California. She is unprepared for the new culture, the new school and most of all the school’s new, hot-shot jock named Jason. What is it about his dark hair with ash brown highlights, his demanding blue eyes that makes her want to blush? Maryanne isn’t sure. But there is one thing she knows about Jason. He is a player and Maryanne vows to herself that she will never have anything to do with him. Jason is used to having any girl he wants at any time. So how dare this Yankee girl, refuse his advances? Sure she is attractive with her long, raven hair and sparkling brown eyes and cute American accent. This is all the more reason for her to grovel at his feet. If Maryanne doesn’t know enough to understand what a catch he was, then Jason will teach her the hard way using her hidden lust as a weapon. There is only one winner when girls gamble on love Jason, and it’s always him. This is a cute story with a strong ‘Dangerous Liaisons’ theme. You want to see the arrogant Jason brought down by love and I’m rooting for Maryanne the whole way. This is the perfect story to read when you’re mad at your boyfriend. "
Keep going!
""Maryanne knows that Jason is a player and that she will never have anything to do with him. Jason is used to having any girl he wants at any time. So how dare this a girl, refuse his advances? I want to see the arrogant Jason brought down after actually falling in love with Maryanne, also I hope she kills him when she finds out the truth, he deserves it. Just work on your sentence structure and grammar. I mean the pictures are great but putting them randomly interrupts the flow of the chapter also be careful of where you put your italics. I love your plot and its great, with a few minor tweaks it will be an excellent book."
A great first work
"For your first work, this is good! You have a cohesive plot and a cast of distinct characters and your writing remains consistent throughout. I would recommend using some apps like Hemingway Editor and Grammarly to smooth things over a little and work out some kinks. The reference pictures are helpful but sometimes break up the flow of the story, like I mentioned I think this would be great as a comic of sorts but just requires a little more streamlining. Overall- I had fun reading this :)"
