Act I
Roxy
I’m Roxanne Sheldrake, I know, It doesn’t suit me at all. That’s why I go by Roxy,
I have a lonely below average life, but not this year. This year I just know that I won’t spend this Spring alone. Call it a feeling, call it a hunch. Whatever it is I know this will be my year.
I live in New York, the kind of City where ordinary people slip through the cracks but I’m not going to be one of those. I quit my boring, soul-sucking, nine-to-five and I have been singing at a little cafe just outside the subway entrance. It’s a small little cafe... okay it’s a dump, but this isn’t my forever. I’ll make it as a singer. I just have trouble writing songs.
People say you should write from experience and real emotions. I would have to write about the bother of having to wait in line or the disappointment of cold coffee because that’s all I’ve experienced. I need to get myself some experience. If I ever finish a song, when I finish, gotta be positive. When I finish my first song I know it will be in the billboard one-hundred. I have a friend who owns a recording studio. She says if I ever have a song I want to record, she’ll wipe her schedule clean, and help me record it. I just need to write a song, easy, right?
I take the train more these days. This dump of a cafe is so far from my apartment. This evening I am taking the train to work. I get off the train and I reach my stop. I push past the other commuters that crowd the station. They’re heading home from work but I’m just getting to work, I’ll never get used to this.
As I move through the sea of bodies I am pushed and shoved ramming into a hard body. I look up at the idiot, who’s not looking where he’s going, in irritation.
“Hey watch...”
I am stopped dead in my tracks as I look up at the most electric blue eyes I’ve ever seen. His sharp jaw and rough features would be a turn-off, but as I gaze at him, his rugged edge pierces my heart, entering deep inside me. I stand still as our bodies are still pressed together, and people pass by. His eyes are locked to mine. I take notice of the rise and fall of his chest and the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
He looks as blown away as I am.
I snap back to reality and realize I’ll be late for work, but I don’t want to leave those captivating eyes and this warm body that I’ve already grown accustomed to. I reluctantly turn but only move a few centimetres away before he pulls me back against him, his hand holding mine tight. Our hands fit perfectly and feel so good that I hold his hand back.
He clears his throat moving a few steps back giving me space and from the look of it mustering great control.
“Where are you headed? Home?” His voice is a perfect match for his face. It’s gruff and deep, sending shivers down my spine.
He lets go of my hand and puts his hands in his pockets. Trying to control himself, no doubt.
“I... ” I clear my throat as well trying to stop it from sounding so soft and weak. I flip my hair, a show of confidence. “Work actually. I work at the cafe over there.”
“Oh, don’t let me keep you.” He says but makes no sign of moving.
“Of course,” I hold my handbag securely over my shoulder. “I’m Roxy, by the way,” I add, and confidently if I do say so myself.
“Roxy,” He smiles, and I can see his eyes getting lost in me again. “I’m Clay, it’s was a pleasure bumping into you. I have to get back to my group anyway.” He looks up and waves to a man and woman. the woman is on the phone but waves to him.
I turn to leave and this time he lets me go.
Clay, has a nice ring to it.
I walk to the cafe and look back at where he once stood. Based on the fact I’ve never seen him until this evening meant he wasn’t a regular commuter. What have I done? My one chance to experience romance and I let it slip through my fingers. Maybe I could write about love at first sight? Is that what that was? Love?
It was well into my work day, well night. I had a funny feeling ever since I saw Clay. Was I missing him? How? No! I was just infatuated. I don’t know if that will make my singing better or worse. But in this dive bar of a cafe, was anyone paying enough attention to notice whether I sang well or not? Nope, no one cared.
After my last break of the night, I tried to shake off the feeling that was looming over me; the feeling of his body against mine, the touch of his hand and the depth of his electric blue eyes.
As the band started to play I got up to sing. Just my luck, the song was about none other than love at first sight. Why was life doing this to me, I needed to focus. The song begins and my voice strains to hit the notes but as the song goes on I find my footing and then some. I sing smoothly and softly like a woman truly in love. I know it’s not in my head because as I sing the diners turn and watch me. My voice takes centre stage capturing their imagination and pulling at their hearts. Making them believe I’m in love and love, at first sight, is a beautiful thing.
The song ends and a tear peaks out from my eyes. The emotions pour over me and I remember why I love to sing. I look down at the next song, a song about first love. Well, this wasn’t first love I was feeling but I am sure the emotions of love would speak out in my voice.
I sing love song after love song, hitting every note but more importantly, feeling every note, I sing every note for him. The diners act more like an audience, clapping and turning their seats to watch me.
My shift is over and It’s midnight now. I say my thanks and goodnight to the band and hop off the stage. The head waiter comes towards me holding up a note. I yank it away from him.
“What you got there, Jimmy?” I smile casually at him. Jimmy was cool, the kind of guy who thinks you’re hot then looks away, harmless and sweet.
“One of the diners sends his love,”
“Love?” I scrunch up my nose in confusion. I open up the note.
“Yeah, That man over there,” Jimmy points to a man sitting in the back. I glance casually in his direction and turn my attention to the note.
The note reads:
“Roxy you were fire tonight. Just like the fire, I saw in your eyes. You made the whole room warm and bright. Like throwing colour into a world that has always been in shades of grey. Keep that fire alive, Roxy. With love, Clay”
My eyes widen as I read the last word.
I look up to where Jimmy had pointed, I see the electric blue eyes that have been living in my mind, but these are not in my mind. These are the real deal, staring right at me.
I rush towards his table dropping the note.
“Someone you know?” Jimmy calls after me.
“No,” I don’t know him but... I love him.”
He stands up straight the moment I reach his table, pushing his chair back in one swift motion. We stand still looking into each other’s eyes. I feel the weight of the moment as he stands still, deciding if it’s true. If this is love at first sight. After the effect he’s had on me and the feeling at his unexpected return, I’m sure this is love. I don’t know how or why but I know that doesn’t matter. I feel it and so it’s true.
“You sang beautifully,” his voice only a husky whisper.
“I sang for you,” I breathe out as I take deep breaths.
I wait, without anxiety, without fear, I wait looking into his eyes. His strong features soften and his look of constant edge relaxes. With a quick movement, he envelops me in a rough and passionate embrace. His arms are strong holding me tightly with a feeling of surety and his is body warm and welcoming.
I lay my head on his shoulder breathing in his scent of leather and musty cologne. His leather jacket crakes as his hands move up and down my back caressing me.
He sits down in the booth pulling me to sit beside him. We sit down but he keeps his arms around me pulling me closer and closer to him. “Roxy,” he breathes in deeply nuzzling in the crook of my neck.
I have never felt like this before. My heart is racing and my whole body tingles. He pulls away just enough to look into my eyes. My eyes are dark brown dim and dark his are light blue, electric and exciting.
“Roxy...” His eyes swirl with so much emotion. Emotions I can’t read, like a song in a different key. He puts his hands in his pockets quickly retreating from our closeness.
I smirk and he smiles shyly. I take his right hand out of his pocket, just like I remember, fits like a glove. Giving him a reassuring squeeze I speak softly, “I feel it too, Clay.”
His features soften and he rests his back against the booth. Holding onto my hand he says. “Though it’s like I’ve known you my whole life. I’m dying to know more about you.” His voice is deep just above a whisper.
“You heard me sing? That’s who I am. I’m not one of those gifted singers who have been singing since they were young. I decided I’d be a singer and so I’m determined to be one. One day I’ll have a song on the billboard one-hundred.” I smirk.
“I’ll be on the lookout,” He smiles taking me all in, enjoying my enthusiasm.
“What about you? What makes you tick?” I playfully tilt my head examining him.
“You don’t want to know about me, sweetheart. I’ve walked a hard path and come out stronger. But that’s in the past, I’m empty now, nothing makes me tick. I find fewer and fewer reasons to wake up every morning.” He looks up, his eyes full of a sadness that dates so far back its second nature to him.
My instincts kick in and I move closer to him offering what comfort I can. He looks at me suddenly turning his head, his eyes look the same except for a flicker of some kind of vulnerability or... guilt.
“Hold on,” I coo as my hand moves to caress his cheek. I pause as I feel his rough beard sending a tingle through me. “You don’t have to feel pain or be hunted by your past when you’re with me, focus on here and now.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Roxy,” He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I’m complicated... messy...”
I place my finger on his lips and try to ignore the sparks I feel. “Clay... It’s okay, I don’t care how complicated you are. We’re here now, together. Maybe, you can find peace in us. I could be there for you...”
He grabs me roughly pulling me into a fierce embrace, this time it’s different more desperate like if he lets go he’ll lose me. I hold him trying to reassure him. Even though I just met him, his pain hurts me.
“What’s wrong, baby,” I caress his back like he did to mine a few minutes ago.
He holds my arms and my eyes widen as I feel a ring on his left hand.
My head swirls and my heart races I push him off and stand up. His eyes follow mine, wide with shock. “Roxy?”
Looking down at him I whisper in disbelief. “You’re married?”
He clenches his left hand and his head drops in shame.
“Is that why you’re complicated?” My voice is low but soft.
“Roxy... it’s not what you think,” He pauses for a moment, a flicker of pain crossing his eyes. “Yeah, she’s important to me. But it’s not what you think. Things are complicated between us. Trust me, I never intended to hurt you, Roxy.”
I look at him squirming for my affection, I weigh the consequences knowing I should walk away but hearing the genuine care for me in his voice... against my better judgment, I sit back down, facing him. He places his forehead on my shoulder. I know he needs me, I feel it in his eyes, in his touch, in his presence.
I stroke his hair gently feeling the natural wave of his hair, “You really didn’t mean to hurt me?” I whisper softly.
He nuzzles into my shoulder, seeking comfort, “No, sweetheart, I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t mean to deceive or cause you any pain. It’s a messy situation with her, but you’re the one I want here and now. Can we focus on here and being together?”
My heart aches knowing he can never belong to me. His voice carries so much pain and desperation, that I can’t help but comfort him.
I lean in and kiss his cheek. “All I see is you. And your affection for me,” I lift him off my shoulder to meet my eyes, “What do you see?”
A smile tugs at his lips though his eyes are still sad. He traces a finger along my jawline. “When I look at you, Roxy. I see a firecracker who’s not afraid to take what she wants. I see passion and strength that matches my own. And damn, do I like what I see.”
I look deep into his blue eyes longing to feel conformation and real raw emotion. “Prove it,” I whisper begging to know where I stand in his life.
He leans in, whispering huskily, “Oh, sweetheart, I’ll prove it to you, and go on proving it to you.” He holds my shoulders and pulls me in kissing me fiercely, pouring all his longing and affection into the moment.
The feeling of his lips on mine ignites a needy fire in me and that I know only he can satisfy.
He breaks the kiss, and his breath caresses my face, “Let’s forget about everything else and lose ourselves in each other’s embrace.” He whispers against my lips.
