Stigma - Woosan + 1

“I am not a stalker! I am not a sasaeng! I’m pregnant!”

I was fully aware of how it sounded, and how it looked. I had the man cornered in an office at his company, that I snuck into. I had been trying to get a hold of this man for months now. Three to be exact. I watched the exact moment that ‘I’m calling the cops on you, you crazy bitch to ‘oh shit that’s where I know you from’ pass over his features.

His eyes flickered down to my just barely showing stomach, then back up at my face, “fuck… your the girl from the club… right?”

I nodded, a bit relieved that he recognized me, “yes…”

“Holy shit… you are pregnant…”

“Yes”

The door behind us opened, and at that exact moment Choi San walked through the door, “you are pregnant? Congrats! …who are you…?”

Wooyoung managed to school his face faster than I thought possible, “ah she’s a friend from high school, she asked to meet… and I guess this was her news”

San smiled softly, “ah, okay. I’ll see you at dance practice later okay?”

He left the room fairly quickly. The taller man seemed to have picked up on tension of some sort and left us to work it out.

Wooyoung basically collapsed into a nearby chair, “so… are you sure it’s mine?”

I nodded, a lump in my throat, “yes.”

“How can you be sure?” He looked up at me.

“I haven’t been with anyone else, for a long time. Before or after,” I said simply, he didn’t need to know the reasoning.

“Will you think I’m an asshole if I ask for a paternity test?” He looked genuinely concerned, and very distraught. He kept running his hands through his hair.

I just stood in the room, trying to keep it together. I shook my head, “of course not… there are some important things I need to tell you though…”

He looked up at me, “go on…”

“There’s a quite large chance I’ll have to abort… but I still thought I should let you know…” it wasn’t easy for me to say this to him. I had always dreamed of being a mother, but sometimes life just isn’t fair.

I watched his face fall, he stood back up, “wait what the hell, why?”

I winced when he advanced on me, it's not like I wanted this, “I’m a carrier for a serious, horrible genetic disease… The likelihood this child will have it is 50/50. I’m going to get genetic testing done as soon as possible… if it has it, I will abort.”

He fell back into the chair, his head in his hands, “why didn’t you wait until after to tell me?”

I stayed silent, a million answers running through my head.

“This is all too much, I just. You tell me I could be a father and then tell me you might kill my baby in the same sentence?” He sucked in a breath, I could hear it, he was crying.

“It’s not like I want this either wooyoung… I promise I’m not trying to hurt you, I thought you’d want to know… and…” I felt selfish and stupid, I probably should have waited till after to tell him, however, “I’m scared, I wanted someone else to know… I wanted someone to care.”

He looked up at me, his eyes glassy. I saw about a million different emotions reflected in them, “you didn’t have anyone else to tell? Not your mother or any friends?”

I shook my head. It was almost embarrassing how empty and solitary my life was.

“Who’s gonna go with you, to the doctors I mean?” He asked softly, with more empathy than a minute ago.

“No one…” I shrugged gently, “it’s just me, it always has been.”

“I’m going with. To every doctor's appointment you have regarding the baby,” he said firmly, “just give me dates and times, I’ll make it happen.”

“You don’t have to,” I said dumbly, blinking in surprise.

“I know, but I want to,” he stood up again to face me, “I am just as responsible for this child… I want to be there, no matter what happens.”

I nodded again, fighting tears, “okay…”

He hesitated before he spoke again, “what’s the disease, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Alpha thalassemia. I’m what they call a silent carrier… but if the baby inherits the disease in its severe form it will be a very short, very painful life. If the baby even makes it to the birth at all. If the baby makes it past birth, it might live a while, but it will be a miserable painful existence.”

“Fuck…” he sighed, running his hands through his hair again, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“For… everything…” he chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood, “sorry for being so drunk that fucking you raw seemed like a great idea.”

I chuckle back, blushing softly, “sorry for being so drunk that I agreed it was a good idea”

“Let me get your number so you can send me the information for the paternity test and the genetic testing, okay?” We exchanged numbers, talking softly the whole time, “also, I apologize, but you will be contacted by my lawyers soon about the nda’s you’ll need to sign..”

I nodded, laughing lightly, “I figured… thank you, wooyoung… for taking this in stride.”

He ruffled my hair softly, and I blushed again, “don’t worry about it… ah shit… I don’t remember your name”

I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, “Sabine… my name is Sabine.”

“It’s a beautiful name…”

“What did you put in your phone as if you didn’t remember my name?”

He laughed and proudly showed me the contact that said ‘baby mama’.

I rolled my eyes, “mature”

“I never said I was! Oh um… there is one more thing, but don’t freak out, this is a new thing”

“What?”

“San is my boyfriend…”

I went silent, “you weren’t dating when we-“

“No!” He cut me off, “I would never! We were actually broken up at that point… we had a huge argument and broke up, I had a couple hook ups, and so did he… but we eventually got back together. We love each other after all.”

I nodded, relieved, “good, I don’t want my baby daddy to be a cheater. '' I teased him gently, “I’ll let you go though, I’m sure we both have shit to do… I just, well, I snuck in here and I don’t want to get caught on the way out…”

He laughed, “I’ll walk you out… Did you drive here or take a cab?”

“I took the bus,” I say simply, not thinking much about it.

“The nearest bus stop is so far from here!” He exclaimed, “you are pregnant!”

I sigh, “well I don’t have the money for a cab,” I shrugged, not seeing what the big deal was.

“I’m calling you an Uber,” he said firmly.

I sighed, knowing I likely wouldn’t be able to change his mind, “fine… but you really don’t have to.”