Chapter 1
AMIHAN
THE headdress was so heavy. At the age of nineteen, my marriage was finally arranged. Today was the engagement ceremony before I left my Kingdom of Selene to marry and live in the Kingdom of Aarush.
It was also the day I would finally meet the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I was the fifth daughter to the Lord of Winter, King Bylur Ilta, born out of wedlock to a Queen’s maid. It was never in the Fates for me to marry as well as my sisters – those who were proper princesses. I stood in front of the tall mirror, marveling at the opulent dress. It was long and full, a soft brown with rabbit fur trim to keep me warm in our snow-clad lands.
My brown hair was secured upon my head, save for the shorter fringes that fell around my face. And decorating my head was the ceremonial headdress all my sisters before me wore when they married. It mimicked the appearance of white antlers, stretching far out to the sides. They were decorated with white powdered flowers and crystal gems. For the thousandth time, I smoothed the front of my dress to free it of wrinkles. My chest ached from how hard my heart pounded. My nerves caused my hands to shake, and I had to keep them busy lest I succumb to my fears and cry.
I couldn’t do that.
Not after the maids prepared such delicate makeup.
The door opened and my nanny entered, followed by the Queen’s maids, and the Queen herself. Queen Eirwen was the lawful wife of my father, and the mother to all my siblings. She was a regal beauty with long dusty brown hair, worn in a majestic updo and topped with her crown of white crystals. Her eyes were amber, and her skin fair – slightly darker than my own pale complexion. While her dress was exquisite, she wore minimal accessories. But that didn’t take away from the authority and elegance she emanated.
I considered myself lucky that she never treated me coldly or abused me. She simply ignored my existence entirely. Not that I blame her. “Your Majesty.” I bowed, careful not to move my head too much – I worried this very precious headdress would fall and shatter if I wasn’t careful. She moved slowly to circle me, examining me. Scrutinizing me. I straightened my posture and clasped my hands together in front of me.
“The training has done you well, Amihan. I’m sorry your preparations had to be so rushed compared to my daughters.”
“It’s fine, Your Majesty.” Despite having every reason to treat me like she treated my mother, Queen Eirwen allowed me to be educated alongside my sisters and brother. I was given the same royal treatment despite how many of the maids complained. After all, my mother was once one of them.
My mother, Awuor, was an arrogant and greedy woman who managed to seduce the King while he was drunk and bear his child. She revealed her pregnancy during the Queen’s birthday banquet, so all eyes could see her. There was no getting rid of us or hiding us. Many expected me to be cast aside or for the Queen to demand I be treated as the spawn I was. However, she did no such thing. She approved of my mother’s status as Concubine and permitted my acceptance into the royal family tree. She was benevolent and even permitted me to join the Royal Family’s banquets. She never tried to hide me from the Noble’s eyes.
I wasn’t so foolish to believe it was all done from the kindness of her heart.
“We had this talk the other day, Amihan. You are to refer to me as ‘Mother’. Our foolish King promised a princess of pure blood, and since all my daughters are married, you were all that was left. You must make sure they never discover you are not my child.”
“I understand Your Ma- I mean, Mother.”
“I came to inform you that you will only be allowed to see Lady Awuor once more before the delegation arrives. Make sure you say your farewells.”
“Yes, Mother. Thank you.”
She smiled at me and lightly ran her fingertips down the side of my cheek. “You are a beautiful and intelligent young woman. You’re lucky to find a marriage to such an esteemed Prince. I was afraid I might have to fight the King to make sure you married well, but it seems he had your best interest in heart as well. Do ensure you perform all your wifely duties perfectly.”
“I will.”
She sighed and dropped her hand. “Then, I will take my leave to allow you time with your mother.” She turned to leave, followed by her faithful maids. Once the door shut, I let out a shaky breath and looked to my nanny.
“My sweet girl, you are absolutely stunning.” She held my hands in her own wrinkled ones, and tears pricked the corners of my eyes. My nanny was assigned to me by the Queen herself, surprisingly, when I was born. She was a former widowed Countess, Lady Wren, that decided to take over raising me after her son married and no longer needed her assistance. She was always there and did her best to protect me. Not only from the world as a bastard child, but from my mother as well. She raised me, and I came to rely on her for everything. “You remind me of when my son got married all those years ago.”
“Are you sure you don’t wish to accompany me?”
She smiled and shook her head. “I’m far too old to make that trek. And my son has asked me to retire to his manor, as his wife his pregnant again. I can’t abandon the young ones that need me.”
“I still need you, nanny.”
“My child, I’ve raised you for this exact moment. You will do just fine, I know it. I wouldn’t leave you on your own if I thought you would need me.”
“Oh, nanny!” I rushed into her arms, careful not to hit her with my antlers. She embraced me tightly.
“Make sure you write me, and I’ll gladly send you my own letters.”
“I will. I promise.” I pulled away and adjusted my dress. “Do you know anything of my husband to be?”
“No more than the rumours you are aware of, my dear. But I’m sure your mother could give you more information. She was the one who pushed for the union.” My stomach sank and I bit back the bitterness in my heart. From the day I could comprehend my life, she used me in any way she could to get in good graces with the King, enrage the Queen, and raise her standing in society. I was nothing more than a pawn in her game. And this marriage was a part of it.
A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. “Speak of the devil.” Wren mumbled before going to the door. My mother stomped in, her blue eyes burning, a self-satisfying smirk on her face. Awuor was a different from Queen Eirwen. She was curvy and made sure to accentuate her lavish features with skintight dresses that often showed off her bosom. She adorned herself in jewels and gold and let her wild blonde hair flow free around her. She knew her charms, and she made sure to use them to her advantage.
She stopped in front of me with her hands on her hips. “Not bad. Though I wish you would do something about that gloomy manner of yours. It makes you appear drab. Do you really believe the Prince of Aarush would appreciate that kind of face in his bride?” Her eyes grazed over me, and stopped at the headdress, her gaze longing. “Anyways, you’ve been told that you are to act as the Queen’s daughter from this point on, correct?”
“Yes, Mother.”
“Excellent.” She placed her hands on my shoulders, her deep nails digging into my skin. “However, don’t forget where you came from. Who you belong to.” My breath caught in my throat. Even moving to another Kingdom, I wouldn’t be free of her. She’d never allow that. “I’ve arranged to have Isolde accompany you as your Lady in Waiting, so make sure you treat her well.”
“Yes, Mother.” I whispered.
“And don’t forget that no one, no one, must learn of your powers. I’ve warned you before the many terrible things that could happen if that savage King discovered what you were capable of.”
“I understand.”
“And I’ll be in contact with jobs for you to accomplish. Make sure you follow my words faithfully as if you were still here. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Mother.” I had to force my voice out, blinking rapidly.
“Good.” She tapped the tip of her finger on my nose. “And change that sulky attitude of yours. No man wants their bride to look to sullen on their engagement ceremony.” She turned and left the room, humming a tune to herself, her heels creating a melody on the floor. Wren took my arms just as I collapsed, helping settle me on the ground.
“Your Highness, you must find a way to break free of that wretched woman. I don’t know what she’s planning by marrying you to the Prince of Aarush, but it can’t be good.”
“I know, nanny. I just…”
I was scared of her. Terrified. She made sure of that when I was just a child. I never feared imaginary monsters coming to get me, because I knew the real monster wore opulent clothing and long nails so she would scratch me when she disciplined me. Wren took my hands and squeezed them.
“She can’t hurt you there. You’ll be free from her.”
I shook my head. “No, nanny. I’ll never be free.”
