Chapter 1
Never would I have thought I would see the love of my life in this cold and defenseless state. The life completely drained out of him. His eyes no longer lighting up my world. The little smirk he would give me when we went back and forth. The way he would hold me for hours. The way his voice got softer once I came around. The little soft spot he had for me and his family. Oh gosh, I’m never going to see him again.
2 weeks ago Rocco died. We had to bury him and I wasn’t even able to see him one last time. The casket was closed and it’s a strict rule in mafia families that if he demands it it can’t be opened. I didn’t want to send him off. I couldn’t bear to see them carrying him to the hole 6 feet deep into the ground.
Closing my eyes I let the tears fall as I look at his headstone. I feel so empty. I’d been lucky enough to find someone who loves me in this evil world full of power-hungry men. Then I go and get him killed. If only I had just stayed by his side. Maybe I could have saved him. My phone rings in my pocket and I look at it. It’s a text from Sophia.
Sophia: You may not be feeling it right now, but I just wanted to let you know I have the pregnancy test.
Me: Okay I’ll be home In an hour. I wanted to go visit him.
Sophia: You okay?
Me: Of course not, but he didn’t die just for me to give my life away to depression.
Sighing I place my phone back into my pocket and sit next to his grave. “So I might be pregnant,” I say aloud while looking up at the sky. “It’s pretty weird that I’m talking to myself right now right.” a small smile leaves my lips. Though I’m far from happy.
“It’s crazy that I’ve been a virgin all these years and as soon as we slept together I got pregnant.” Shaking my head a frown suddenly appears. I trace my hand over the gravestone. More tears fall down my eyes.
It feels so dark now. The world around me. I spent most of my time pretending like I hated this man. When really I started falling for him a lot sooner. He’s the only man I’ve loved in this lifetime. The only man I want to love.
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Sophia paces back and forth in my room with the box in her hand. I raise my brow at her as I walk in. “Took you long enough. I want to know if you’re pregnant or not.” She taps her foot on the ground.
“Were you waiting here all this time?” I ask.
“Yes.” She rolls her eyes. “This is a big thing. I couldn’t sit down without knowing if you are or not.”
I walk over to her and take the box out of her hand. My hand starts to shake as I look down at it. “What if I am? It’s not like Rocco is here anymore to share this with me.” My eyes start to water once again.
Sophia grabs ahold of both of my shoulders. “Listen my brother wouldn’t want you to feel like this. It can’t be helped, but still, he’d want you to be strong. He would want you to take over for him. Rocco would want you to be the badass you are and show these people he’s still living in your heart.”
She’s right. Rocco’s going to need someone to take his place. He doesn’t want it to be any of his siblings and I’m the next best thing. He’d want me to show everyone this mafia doesn’t have a weakness just because he died.
As I start opening the pregnant test she starts to tap her foot even faster. “Ok, I’m going to go pee.”
She nods as I take the pregnancy test into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me I then lift up the toilet seat. Biting my lip I pull down my pants. Closing my eyes as I pee on the stick worry starts to fill me. I don’t want to raise a baby on my own. I’ll take over for Rocco, but I’ll need a reason to continue without him.
After waiting for a while I lift it waiting for the results. When I see the two lines my head starts to spin. “I-I’m pregnant.” The sadness in my voice breaks me.
As I pull up my pants the sobs leave my mouth. I still have a part of him with me, but it’s not him. I want Rocco, not a child.
Sophia comes in a minute later. I’m on the floor with my head in my hands. My sobs sound like death right now. I sound like I’m in so much pain.
She rushes over to me and looks at the pregnancy test on the ground. Tears start to fall from her eyes too. “Oh gosh, you’re pregnant. I-I’m going to be an auntie”
“Yeah.” My voice breaks into a million pieces.
“We need to tell Renzo.” She says picking it up off the floor. I grab her before she can leave.
“No! Please I don’t want anyone to know right now. I want to tell them when I’m ready.” I’m not getting rid of this baby, but I also don’t want anyone to know. Not until I’m fully ready to accept that Rocco’s child is inside me.
“Okay. I’m going to give you some time. When you feel better your father wants to talk to you.” She frowns.
“Okay!” Running my hands over my face I wipe my tears as Sophia leaves the room. I haven’t talked to anyone for three weeks. I’ve been in my bed not able to get up until it was time for Rocco’s funeral. I look a mess, but I need to talk to my dad.
I haven’t told him anything. He’s still confused about why we are in the enemy’s house. Marco survived and it’s not safe for us to go home yet. Not that I want to. This is my home now.
Getting off the floor I make my way out of the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror only makes me feel worse. My eyes have dark circles under them. My hair is in a messy bun. The hickey Rocco gave me has faded. Another thing of his gone.
At least I still have the smell of him in our bedroom. When I open the door my father is standing there. Bruno has dressed his wounds. It looks a lot worse than I thought. Some of his fingers are missing. He has a scar over his eyes now. A few teeth missing and his ear is gone. It breaks my heart. He looks so much older in this state. I haven’t seen him in six months. His arms are crossed and he looks so angry with me.
I’ve lived my entire life trying to please him. Now I’m married to a man he doesn’t want me to be with. I’m going to start living for myself though.
“Alessandra Russo! What is the meaning of all of this.” My father raises his voice at me as if I’m a small child.
“We’re staying with the Merano’s until we can get back on our feet.” Crossing my arms I frown at him.
“Why would we need to stay with the enemy?” He asks.
“I’m married father.” I start and his eyes widen. He shakes his head in confusion. “To Rocco Merano,” I add.
“W-what? What happened to Fabio? I didn’t agree to this. He didn’t have my blessing.” My father says. I know just how much he hates the Meranos.
“We got married while you were away.”
He trusts his hand through his hair. “I don’t understand why you would marry him. Were you sleeping with the enemy while I was in danger?”
Shaking my head I sigh. “I love Rocco. While he helped me find you we fell for each other.”
My father scoffs and turns away from me. “How could you two be in love? You’re enemies.”
“I went to him for help. I didn’t know what else to do, so I asked him. He agreed to help me and things happened. We fell in love. Got married and now n-now I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant! Do you know what you’ve done Alessandra? Thier going to want this baby. They won’t let us go now. Everything that I worked hard for in my mafia is now theirs.” He yells. “This is probably what they wanted. To take our money and power.” He adds.
Balling my fist I start to get angry. “Father Rocco is...was powerful just by himself. Nothing I could have given him would have made him any more powerful, because he already rules over multiple people. He didn’t use me to get my power.” I say.
He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alessandra there are systems put in place. If you married Fabio it would have been a mutual agreement between his father and I. Since you are with Rocco his family are only going to take control from us.”
“That’s not going to happen. Rocco’s family is very supportive of me and I’m going to take over for him.”
My father scoffs. “Do you think his father is just going to let you take over? You aren’t blood. Let’s say Rocco actually cared about you. I’m sure his father could care less.” My father crosses his arms.
“Listen Dad I’m an adult now. I don’t appreciate you talking about my husband or his family like that!”
My father sighs and throws up his hands. “Fine, we can talk later. I’m too pissed at you to look at you right now.” He rolls his eyes and makes his way down the hall. Though I doubt he knows where to go.
Slamming the room door I walk back over to the bed. Sitting down on it I just stare at the sheets. I need some time. A little more time to grieve before I can face anyone. I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like eating. Taking a deep breath I lay back onto the bed and stare up at the ceeling.
Authors note
This is the worst cover I’ve ever made but it’s going up for now until I make a new one. This is book 2 of Snake and Venom I hope you all enjoy!
