Anatomy of A Crush

Yes, gay guys can have crushes on straight guys.

I never fell for a high school jock, or a best friend. My first boyfriend was my prom date and we lost our virginity in a car, the old-fashioned way.

In college, I was having casual sex like a “regular” person and I assumed that crushing had been permanently replaced with... fucking.

When I started my first job, I found a beautiful apartment in a perfect part of the city. Subletting the spare bedroom helped cover the rent.

I spoke to three potential roommates before Otto walked into my life. He was smart and had a great sense of humor. His native German often led to some curious misunderstandings. Otto was also gorgeous, he looked like a mix of an anime character, a Viking, and an underwear model.

And of course, Otto was straight!

I first realized how bad of a mistake I made when he casually walked out of the bathroom wearing... nothing. Just a white towel slung over his shoulder. Apparently, where he came from people didn’t make an issue of nudity.

I definitely wasn’t complaining but I hadn’t even told him that I was gay yet. Would that be a problem for him? Would he decide to move out?

I promised to tell him well before my next hookup but for some bizarre reason, I kept postponing.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Just when I thought the time for crushes was over, one grabbed me firmly by the neck and squeezed hard enough for me to thoroughly enjoy it.

Three weeks later, the holiday season was upon us. I hadn’t gotten properly fucked in forever and Otto was still walking around naked.

He seemed very excited to witness his first American Halloween. I was told that they celebrated something similar in Bavaria called “Hexennacht” but it traditionally took place in April.

When I suggested we dress up, go dancing, and get shamelessly drunk with a couple of my friends, he enthusiastically agreed.

I still hadn’t told Otto about my strong preference for dick, so I warned Eddie and Jay to keep their skanky traps shut.

Who would have thought that a six-foot German would get giddy like a little kid about planning a Halloween costume? I wasn’t even allowed to look, like a groom before his wedding day.

We were already fashionably late when he walked out into the hall and asked, “What do you think, Roy?”

Holy fucking shitcakes!

He wore a white shirt above matching leather pants, and shoes. I adored the white jacket and black tie but the highlight of his costume was a pair of massive jet-black wings held in place by barely visible shoulder straps.

“I am... Der Teufel in sheep’s clothing,” he said, his eyes gleaming red. Was he wearing colored contacts?

I intuitively knew what he meant but my brain had stopped working, so I asked, “The what?”

An image flashed through my mind of him fucking me hard against the wall with nothing but his wings on.

“The Devil,” he said, pulling on a subtle cord. It made the wings spread wide enough to touch the walls on either side of my corridor.

I swallowed audibly and said, “You look amazing!”

“Danke,” he replied with a dimpled smile.

“Otto meet Eddie and Jay,” I said, staring daggers at my friends.

Otto firmly shook both their limp-wristed hands and said, “Otto, nice to meet you.”

Eddie was biting his bottom lip, and Jay clearly wanted to touch some part of my roommate. Was Otto really oblivious to his effect on us?

The superficial conversation was quickly drowned out by the DJ and after three tequila shots and a cosmo, I suggested we move to the dancefloor.

Otto liked to dance and moved like he was at a rave with glow sticks. Only when he went to the bathroom, did my friends finally explode.

“That’s your roommate?!” Eddie yelled above the music.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Jay demanded.

“He’s like a walking wet dream and you have him at home? Like all the time?” Eddie seemed to have lost the grasp of the word “roommate”.

“And he doesn’t know you’re gay?” Jay added. “Why would you do that to yourself in your own house?”

I’d been listening without saying a word. They were right and I knew it. What was my problem?

“Shall we take him to a real club and see how he reacts?” Eddie asked, looking suddenly inspired.

“Is this not a real club?” Otto asked, having returned from the bathroom without me noticing.

Did he look disappointed? Fuck!

I decided to take a chance and said, “He means a gay club. Eddie and Jay are a couple.”

“Ach so,” Otto said calmly. No surprised stare or raised eyebrows.

“Are you OK with that?” I asked, making sure I wasn’t misreading his reaction.

“Sure,” he said casually. “Do you think they would like my costume?”