Metempsychosis

Don't you think?

Its looming presence can cast a shadow over even the brightest of days, making the fragile beauty of life stand out in stark relief.

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Ever had one of those days where life seems to be cruising along smoothly, and then - BAM - it all comes crashing down like a ton of bricks?

It’s like you’re in a good groove, but suddenly there’s this void, this emptiness where excitement used to be. It’s like realizing you’re head over heels in love with your best friend for years, only to come to terms with the fact that they may never feel the same way about you.

It’s like being told you can't keep all your toys because, well, money doesn’t grow on trees. Meanwhile, everyone around you seems to have a treasure trove of stuff, and you’re left wondering where half of your belongings even came from. You start to feel like no matter what you do or say, it's like you're invisible to them.

Today was one of those peculiar days. It felt like impending doom was lurking around the corner, but weirdly enough, there was a glimmer of hope shining through. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I felt this way, so I simply shrugged it off.

The weather seemed nice, people seemed nice. There were probably hundreds of people walking through Central Park, but nobody gave a single fuck about me, and that was okay.

My mother had always said I needed to find my own company.

She’d said I’d need to stop making her and my father worry. She’d said, “Don’t get attached to people”.

She had said things like that a lot, mostly just because she didn’t want me getting hurt, but now that I wasn’t living under her roof anymore I realized she’d been right about more than one thing. And I was glad for that.

I guess you could call it the second part of her advice. I guess it was better to leave someone else alone for once.

My parents loved each other, sure, but they both got a little lost in their work sometimes.

I think they knew how important it was to stay together. Maybe they liked having me around to remind them of the importance, but they also needed me too.

I understood that. So I figured that if I left them alone a little bit every day and did whatever I wanted instead of trying to fix their mistakes then maybe I wouldn’t feel as bad.

That would mean I wouldn’t feel so responsible for everything. I would feel less guilty and somehow that would make me feel even better. Because that was what I thought was wrong.

So that was what I decided.

I wasn’t just going to be a burden on my parents. I wasn’t going to be a pain. In fact, if I could do anything else to make it easier for my parents to live without me it would be to not bother them at all.

And maybe it sounded pretty selfish, but that was how I was thinking at the moment. I thought that maybe I was willing to put myself out there in an effort to save my relationship. To save their relationship.

But maybe that wasn’t the right choice. What was I thinking? They could take care of themselves. They weren’t helpless. I should let them be able to take care of each other. Let them help each other out. That was the only way things would work out, I was sure of it.

Sooner rather than later my parents would realize they needed to work some things out by themselves, and then maybe things would finally become better between us again.

Maybe that would be what I needed most. A chance to be the kind of person my parents needed me to be. Not a spoiled brat. I wouldn’t let my family down.

I let out a sigh and started to walk back home, stopping here and there along the way to admire different flowers trees and buildings. People who were going about their lives, just enjoying each other’s company.

As long as no one noticed me, I wasn’t in any danger.

As long as I didn’t make a big fuss out of myself, no one would pay any attention to me.

As I continued my stroll home, a sense of calm enveloped me, the gentle breeze carrying the fragrant scent of blooming flowers and the distant sound of laughter from the park.

Yet unfortunately for me, I barely registered the approaching car, its engine a mere hum in the background of my consciousness.

And then, in a split second that seemed to stretch into eternity, everything changed. Time slowed to a crawl, the world around me blurring as if I were viewing it through a haze. The car, a metallic blur, suddenly became the focal point of my existence, hurtling towards me with menacing speed.

I tried to move, to step out of harm's way, but my body refused to cooperate, frozen in place as if held by invisible shackles. The sound of screeching tires pierced the air, a sharp, discordant note that reverberated through my being.

In that surreal moment, it was as though death itself had descended upon me, a shadowy specter casting its long, chilling gaze over my fragile mortality. The car struck me with brutal force, a thunderous impact that sent me hurtling through the air like a ragdoll, a helpless puppet in the hands of fate.

I soared, weightless and untethered, a fleeting glimpse of the world rushing past in a dizzying blur. And then, with a sickening thud, I collided with a sturdy oak tree, the force of the impact shattering my neck with a sickening crunch.

But there was no pain, no cries of agony, only a profound stillness that descended like a shroud over my senses. Darkness enveloped me, a velvety blackness that swallowed me whole, obliterating all sensation, all thought, all existence.

I floated in that void, adrift in a realm beyond time and space, where the boundaries of life and death blurred into a seamless tapestry of nothingness. And in that timeless expanse, I found a strange solace, a strange peace that whispered of serenity amidst the chaos.

No longer bound by the constraints of the physical world, I surrendered to the void, a willing passenger on the journey into the unknown. And as the darkness embraced me, I felt a strange sense of liberation, a release from the burdens of mortal existence.

The world faded into oblivion, the sounds of life receding into a distant echo until all that remained was the quiet embrace of eternal night. And in that final moment, as my consciousness ebbed away, I welcomed the sweet embrace of oblivion, a silent farewell to the tumultuous world I left behind.

÷ ~ ÷ ~ ÷ ~ ÷

In the quietude of her thoughts, Mary Solas found herself pondering the essence of her mortality.

There were two pillars in her life that held her world together, anchoring her heart amidst the tumultuous waves of existence.

Her mother, a beacon of unwavering love and support, and her best friend, a kindred spirit who lit up her days with laughter and shared dreams. They were the sun and moon in her sky, both indispensable, both cherished beyond measure.

The bonds she shared with them were woven from threads of purest affection and loyalty, forming a tapestry of companionship that warmed her soul. But as she contemplated the fragility of life's tapestry, she realized that even the strongest threads could fray and break, leaving behind a void that echoed with silent longing.

Mary knew that the sands of time would eventually sweep them away, each on their own path, leaving her standing alone in the shifting winds of change. The thought of their absence, of a world without their laughter and presence, was a bitter pill to swallow. It lodged in her throat, a lump of sorrow that threatened to choke her with its weight.

Yet, amidst the shadows of impending loss, a flicker of determination burned bright within her. She vowed to shield her brother from harm, to stand as a bulwark against the tides of fate that sought to pull him asunder. No sacrifice was too great if it meant preserving his innocence and well-being. She would walk through fire and storm, face down any foe, to ensure his safety, even if it meant sacrificing her own future in the process.

The knowledge that she might not live to see him grow, to witness the milestones of his life, clawed at her heart with icy fingers. But she pushed the ache aside, focusing instead on the precious moments she could share with him now. Every smile, every shared secret, every fleeting second of joy was a treasure to be cherished, a balm to soothe the wounds of the uncertain future.

In the embrace of her brother and her friend, Mary found solace and strength. Their laughter echoed like music in her ears, a symphony of love and camaraderie that defied the dark specter of mortality. Her mother's gaze, filled with unspoken tenderness and understanding, offered a silent reassurance that love transcended even the finality of death.

In her last fleeting moments, a sudden realization dawned upon her fragile consciousness—how powerless one truly is against the relentless grasp of death. Struck by the unforgiving force of a speeding car, she found herself confronting the harsh reality that there was no battle to be fought, no defiance to be mustered against the inevitable embrace of mortality.

And yet in those final moments of sadness and grief, she found peace. With an infinite capacity for love and compassion, Mary Solas found that her love had always been enough. Her friends had never abandoned her when all else failed. And now they would continue to do so despite her demise.

As the darkness closed over her vision, she smiled and embraced the fact that she would be no more.

"You should wake up" was the first thing that registered in her mind, prompting the sleepiness of a deep slumber to fade to nothing. Forcing open her eyes, Mary gazed around blearily, still feeling groggy from lack of sleep.

At first, all she saw was blackness, a dense, pitch blackness that stretched on forever, stretching on into infinity.

The feeling reminded her of something akin to fear and disquiet, though she couldn’t pinpoint what exactly she was fearing. As her eyes adjusted further, she finally noticed that she wasn’t alone in the room with her. At least, not anymore. Sitting across from her bed was a man clad in a dark coat.

He appeared somewhat familiar, but she couldn’t quite place where or why.

Before he could say a word, she blurted, “Who are you? How did I get here? Where am I? What happened?!” Her voice sounded thin and hoarse as if she hadn’t used it in ages. Despite this, the fear was still evident in her tone.

“Calm down, Mary,” the stranger said, holding up a hand in a placating gesture. “You’re fine. This isn’t what you think. You were hit by a car.” He paused and added gently, “You died.”

His words struck Mary like ice water poured directly onto her heated skin. She stared at him blankly, trying to absorb his words into her brain.

Had she really died? Was she dreaming right now? Could this possibly be real?

Slowly, the truth crept into her consciousness, bringing forth a sense of disbelief that she wasn’t simply dreaming.

The events of the past couple of days came rushing back like the memories of a bad dream—or perhaps worse, nightmares. In the space of a heartbeat, Mary felt her chest tighten with dread and despair.

Mary felt a wave of tears spill over her cheeks, and she buried her face in her hands as she sobbed brokenheartedly. Her shoulders shook violently, her breaths coming out in jagged bursts as she struggled to catch her breath and control her emotions. After several minutes of crying, Mary finally managed to calm down just slightly and wipe the tears away from her face. She took a few deep breaths before lifting her head again and looking over to the stranger sitting across from her. He gave her a slight reassuring nod as if to acknowledge her concern, but she didn’t dare look at him.

He spoke softly. “Mary, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” His voice sounded firm and steady, despite his obvious distress. “Everything will be alright, I promise.” He reached out and laid his hand atop hers, which still rested in her lap.

After regaining some semblance of composure, he continued. “Now, I know things might seem pretty scary right now, but everything will work out for you, I promise. I know this seems hard to understand, but it’ll all make sense after I explain”

He glanced at her, gauging her reaction. “Put simply, you did die...” he began hesitantly, “and you are dead.” He sighed deeply and added, “...but not in the conventional sense.”

Mary’s eyes widened as she looked up at him with a mix of confusion and horror. “What do you mean ‘not in the conventional sense?’ I died! I died! Why aren't I in heaven?” 

“I guess that's where we come in,” he replied. “Do you remember anything prior to your passing?”

“yes,” she muttered. “but not very much. Most of, if all, that I remember is the accident.”

The man lets out a deep sigh before speaking once more. “Put blatantly, you are not meant to be here,” he said with finality, his voice resolute. “Your death was an accident.”

Mary blinked rapidly at the implication of his words, trying to digest the meaning behind his words. “Then how is it that I'm here, right now?"

“Well we brought you here because you were not meant to die in the first place” he responded matter of factly, giving a slight shrug to show that he didn't expect much more from such a simple explanation. “And that brings us to the next part.”

“Next part?” she asked curiously.

“Yes. We are here to help you. You need our help, that's all” he explained. “We can't give you everything you want, but maybe this will suffice. You've already seen the world, Mary Solas. Maybe you'll want to go somewhere else.”

“Where would I go? There's nothing beyond the grave.” she retorted bitterly.

The man shook his head. “That's a lie,” he asserted, “because you don't believe it.” A small frown creased his brow as he added, “...but that's only the way you want to look at it. Truthfully, the answer may be easier than you imagine.”

With a solemn gaze, he rises from his seat and inclines closer to me, his voice weighted with ancient wisdom.

“Reincarnation,” he begins, his words resonating with the profundity of centuries past, “the enduring belief in the eternal transmigration of a solitary soul, perpetually reborn in various corporeal manifestations—be it as a humble plant, a majestic animal, a mortal human, or even a divine being.”

“What lies before you, is the profound gift of reincarnation,” he declares, his tone carrying the weight of countless lifetimes and destinies intertwined.

“It is not merely a matter of being reborn again and again; it is also an important aspect of your existence as well.” The man pauses briefly for effect. Then, taking a steadying breath, he continues: “You are the most unique being I have ever met, Mary Solas,” he says slowly, emphasizing each syllable with great emphasis.

“There are many, many others who can see color, hear music, and taste food. But for you, there is none of these.” He paused momentarily. “You have a unique perspective on life—a perspective that gives you a greater understanding of both the material world and the supernatural realm. It allows you to experience a whole new spectrum that your world never had to offer!”

“So will you accept?”  he asks, turning to look directly into Mary’s eyes.

“Ok” Mary responded half heartedly and hesitantly, “I mean, yes,” she added hastily, noticing the skeptical expression on his face.

He smiled, satisfied. “Good.”

Mary leaned forward, eager to learn more about her future. “Can you tell me what it means?” she inquired.

“Sure thing” he affirmed, leaning back in his chair. “To begin with, the world we will send you to”  he began, “is unlike anything your kind has ever seen or experienced.”

“Is that so?” Mary questioned with curiosity.

“Yes,” he continued. “As you will soon discover, what exists within this world is far different than anything you’ve experienced before.”

“How so?” Mary inquired.

“It doesn’t matter much to begin with, but suffice to say, this world does not belong solely to one race.”

“I suppose one could liken them to the mythical races of your realm - dwarfs, elves, and the like,” mused the enigmatic stranger.

Mary nods, but he continues talking before she can reply. “But regardless, we can discuss all of this later. For now, let’s start off with your physical body.”

“Physical?” Mary echoed. “My... physical body?”

“Indeed,” he replied with a solemn nod.

“As a consequence of the errors committed by my kind, which led to your untimely demise, and in light of our offer of reincarnation, I find myself in the role of an intermediary, tasked with discerning your desires and needs before we, or I, guide you towards your next life.”

“In a nutshell, if my earlier ramblings didn’t quite hit the mark, besides the whole unfortunate demise situation - which, let me reiterate, I’m truly sorry for - I’m all ears for your 'Requests' or 'Wishes'. So spill the beans, my dear departed friend, and let’s make some magic happen!” he finished with a grin, raising his hands in anticipation.

His words struck home in a way that they never had before “what?” Mary whispered.

“Yes, my dear” he assured, nodding reassuringly. “Whatever it is that you wish for, no matter how impossible it may seem, as long as it is within my power and abilities to grant it, then it shall become a reality!”

She looked down at their clasped hands and couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by a strange mixture of emotions. It felt wonderful, yet so frightening at the same time. In contrast to her previous emotions.

“so...” mary began, letting the word hang in the air for just a moment, savoring the suspense before she continued, “got any bright ideas”

“I think so, yes.

Mary waited, curious for his response, and when it came, he proceeded. “Let’s start with the basics: Race”

He paused for a few moments before continuing. “The races you encounter upon entering this world will differ considerably from the ones you encountered before, whether through coincidence, destiny, or otherwise. You’ll be able to pick out differences immediately when you enter,” he informed her.

“back to the hand of the subject, Maybe you'd like to be something other than human, something that represents your own personality rather than what humanity expects of you”

Mary hummed thoughtfully and took his advice, considering the question deeply. After a minute's contemplation, she finally concluded that there was indeed something she wanted to achieve that didn't fall under that category and decided on what that might be. 

“A vampire.”

“Ahhh,” he agreed, nodding in approval.  “Yes, I knew you would like that!” he remarked, pleased that this seemingly impossible desire seemed so easily attainable for someone so young.

After a brief pause, he continued. “Okay then, what are your expectations from your current state? Is it okay if we talk about your wants now?”

“Anything is fine,” She answered, “but I'm not too sure I'm up to the task of having you read them in detail at once.”

His expression hardened at her remark, but remained silent, knowing fully well that she wasn't trying to mock him, instead, she was simply pointing out a truth that he himself knew.

“Hey there, remember those little dreams and desires you've tucked away in the back of your mind? It's time to bring them out into the sunlight,” he said with a hint of mischief in his eyes. “You've got to acknowledge those cravings, those wishes if you want to make things happen.”

Mary shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze, but deep down she knew he was speaking the truth. It was time to dust off those old dreams and see if they still sparkled with possibility. Despite the twinge of discomfort, she couldn't help but feel a glimmer of excitement at the thought of rediscovering those long-forgotten aspirations.

“So,” he murmured, his voice a soft melody floating in the air like a whispering breeze. His gaze, deep and enigmatic, seemed to penetrate the very soul of the listener, drawing them into a world of secrets and desires.

“What is your greatest desire?” he questioned, his words heavy with a hidden melancholy that lingered beneath the surface, like a hidden current in the depths of a tranquil lake.

“A peaceful existence,” she confessed after a long silence, not bothering to hide her disappointment.

“That sounds difficult,” he admitted. “But I don't think that'll be an issue this time around” he asserted confidently.

“Because if what you're asking is true, then I've got everything in my power to make this possible! Now,” he began as he leaned forward toward Mary, “tell me. What were the things you wanted more than anything else?”

“To be treated kindly; to be respected for being who I am, regardless of what others believe about me,” she said firmly without hesitation.

“Yes. That's exactly it!” he exclaimed

I have the best idea for your future lass, he thought happily. “You see, you want something that is so easy to obtain it's almost insulting,” he said teasingly, smirking.

“What do you mean by that?!” Mary demanded, her face contorting into a look of disbelief.

“Your future self,” he stated bluntly, “needs the utmost respect and adoration”

As the mysterious stranger rose to his feet, he simply snapped his fingers and vanished into thin air, leaving her feeling like she was caught in a whirlwind of magic, his form fading away along with her vision.

Leaving the last thought in her head being

“Wow.”