CAGED

' Just want to remind you that even though you can not go back and make a brand new start, you can always start now and make a brand new ending'

                      *****

Luce

Sighing loudly for probably the hundredth time, I finally got mom's attention.

"I'm so sorry sweetie. Just give me a sec, I just need to grab some pants and then we'll be on our way"

"Okay" I said and

immediately wished I didn't agree.

My legs were aching me and my shoulders were entirely another story.

It seemed like my ball and socket were getting torn apart.

The shopping bags kept on piling up in my arms. I had to imagine them like a tower of blueberry pancakes and it worked like a charm.

I followed my mum from store to store, my feet crying out.

Fudge these sneakers.

I wonder how mom walked smoothly on heels. I had to jog to keep up with her pace.

My bed stood at the middle of my room calling my name. I walked slowly towards my bed smiling.

Getting ready to slip in, I was tapped gently on my already aching shoulder.

Turning around to see mum smiling at me, her eyes glowing with amusement.

I sighed heavily, "Finally"

"Now don't be a cry baby. We won't be here for another month" said mom walking towards the front desk where there was a long queue.

Getting to the back of the line, I sighed exasperatedly.

Sighing is the best way I respond to most situations and in this situation, I was frustrated and hungry.

After waiting in queue and ignoring the cat calls, we finally got to pay and then we were on our way home.

Leaning on the headrest, my shoulders slumped with my eyes half closed, I was happy to have finally moved on.

Moving from Florida to California really took a toll on me. I grew up in Florida and my whole life was literally there.

My favorite places, my worst nightmare which are the malls and places I went with mom and it pained me I won't be seeing those places ever again.

We moved here on Friday, went shopping today and tomorrow I plan on sleeping and then on Monday, I'm on my way to school.

Wow school. How exciting!

Note the sarcasm

Not that I was planning on telling my mom but I didn't want to make any friends this year.

I wanted to be alone and avoid all high school heartbreaks.

I really didn't want any scar on my already healing heart.

Carl

That name struck me like lightning and I felt only anger and hatred towards him.

Fudge.

I hated myself for falling for his charms.

The memories we shared, every single date we've gone on and all the kisses we shared were all fake.

Fudge, every single thing about him was fake.

The relationship between us was based on a stupid dare that I have no idea about and God, how I wish I could turn back time to two years ago.

What I regretted most was not listening to mom. She had a bad feeling about him but I thought she was just being overprotective until four months ago when I just turned nineteen.

Carl called me over for a night party he threw in my name.

Mom wasn't a fan of night parties so she didn't let me go.

I snuck out because I thought mom was being unfair to him.

I remember calling Carl to come pick me up at a diner ten kilometres from my house.

And that's when everything went wrong.

Once I got into the car, I felt some one keep a handkerchief over my nose.

And that was it.

I found myself in the hospital with both of my ovaries damaged.

I can never be a mother because some group of guys couldn't control their sick erected pole stick and I had to be the one to suffer.

My Mom was there for me and I expected Serenity to also be there for me but no she decided to stick around and become a snitch.

She knew about the dare but she kept quiet because she had a stupid crush on Carl and wanted him for herself so she went ahead to help him.

I've known serenity since we were toddlers and I always stood up for her but what did I get?

A stab in the back.

I was never going to be a mother or a wife or even a grandmother.

Why?

Because no man would want a woman who can't give birth to a child.

And I was done.

I was done loving anyone.

I was done trusting anyone.

So I came up with a solution.

All I needed to do was to cage my heart in, lock up my emotions and put on a fake mask.

Now I have the chance to start anew, I was going to use it not throw it away by wallowing in my self pity, depression and pain.

I've done all that for three months.

One more year left.

A year to put on a fake mask and pretend that things are fine.

A year left for me to graduate from High school.

A year left and I'll be free from the clutches of high school heart breaks!!!