letters to spencer

Dear Spencer,

YOU WILL NEVER READ THIS.

You don’t know me yet but I think you are the most beatufiul person I have ever seen in my life.

I wasn’t planning on writing this at school because I don’t want to get caught. But I can do this, I think? I’m smart enough to remember to log out.

I only have 15 minutes freee internet credits so listen: I LIKE YOU.

Unlike most of our school mates who post everything on face book I know the better thing to do is make a blog and write my feelings towards you. this is the safest

People will not know this is me who is writing this

People will not find a trace

I’m safe

I had a crush on you ever since you sat next to me when we were taking the entrance exam. you don’t remember thius but i accidentally sat on your seat and you had to tell me to move. i was so embarrassed

you definitely don’t remember me, Spencer

because that day, you were so energetic! You told jokes and you made everyone in the room laugh, even if you didn’t know anyone.

Although I was nervous about the exam, I was lot less so because of you and your energy

I remember eating a sandwich, sitting by the bench outside the exam room, waiting for my father to pick me up. I thought to myself, I hope I pass so I can see that guy again

And I passed and now we’re school mates! Victory.

Although I should NOT be celebrating. i CAN’T be gay Spencer!!! I’m just attracted to your energy that’s all

last sunday at church, our youth group talked about gay people and that it’s okay to be gay just as long as you don’t act on those emotions. i need to get a girlfriend soon

anyway, i made this blog last night while my father was out with his church friends. my mom’s dead by the way and i JUST have to do it Spencer okay!

it’s 5 months already and everyday, when i gho to the canteen for recess, i always see you there, hanging out with your friends and laughing and i keep watching.

I SHOULD NOT WATCH

I’m writing this so that, I have a reminder to not sin, you are my sin right now Spencer

AND FINALLY, today, you FINALLY TALKED to me and ask me where CAMILLE is, I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

I have to find a way somehow to not think about you because it’s not good. you’re not that handsome anyway

okay you’re the tallest in your section but so what?

you don’t look smart! i’m smarter than you...i think

whatever

i have to go and eat my lunch: yes it’s bola-bola with rice and cheese my fave

okay goodbye

i hate you

Allan Carlo Ceniza

1st Year - Rizal