Cosmic Love

August 13th, 2024

A sense of dread filled the air inside my truck as I passed the Welcome to Roswell sign. For most people, coming back home from fighting in war should be a good thing, hell it should’ve been a great thing!

But most people didn’t grow up in a town like Roswell, filled with bigotry, hate, and conspiracies. That is why when the time came up to sign up for the army, I made sure to be the first one in town whose name was on the sign-up sheet. Sure, I joined for other reasons, but leaving this town was the best decision I could have made.

But here I am, driving back to a town I swore to never return to. But when my high school best friend, Phoebe, wrote me a letter about plans to celebrate Beccas’s tenth death anniversary, there was no way I could ever refuse, no matter how every molecule in my body wanted me to.

The drive to the Cosmic Rocket Diner did not take that long, as I could see the bright rocket ship sign on the restaurant’s roof. Cosmic Rocket has been around for a long time. My great-great-great grandfather would always come here, though the name used to be Area 51. Now, the Santiagos own this diner after the owners have died, and Francis has taken over since he has worked there all his life.

I pulled up to the diner’s parking lot and went to the front. The familiar smell of greasy food and sweet milkshakes permeated the room as I entered. A flood of memories came crashing all at once. This diner held the best of my teenage youth, from birthday celebrations with my brothers to after-school hangouts with Becca, Phoebe, and Lili. As nostalgia continued to hit me, I took a quick look around.

The diner looks the same as it did ten years ago, with minor changes, like the same alien/space decorations, the jukebox sound, and the arcade competing to see who can make the most noise. Just being in this environment puts a smile on my face.

“Noah.. is it you?” someone called out. I quickly snapped out of my trance and turned towards whoever called my name. Right before me was Lili Santiago, dressed in her waitress outfit with the alien ears. Though it had been ten years, she still looked as beautiful as ever with her long, wavy dark brown hair that is currently pulled into a ponytail and her chocolate brown eyes that always seemed to light up whenever she was explaining something science-related. Of all the people I thought I would run into, I never expected it to be her.

“Hey, Lili,” I greeted back with a smile. Once the shock of my presence left her system, she returned an even bigger smile and rushed to hug me. I let out a grunt as her body collided with mine, and she squeezed me very hard, maybe for proof that I was actually here in front of her and not just a figment of her imagination.

After what felt like hours, she let me go and took a step back. “I can’t believe you’re here,” she said. "Come on, let’s sit at our old booth.” She started walking there before I could even respond. So I started to follow her, trying to ignore the stares from the diner patrons. It was mostly the regular townies who looked shocked that I was back.

I took the seat opposite her so we could talk face-to-face. We sat there for a good few minutes, just basking in each other’s presence and not knowing what to say.Lili broke the silence by saying, “When Phoebe told me about the letter she sent you, I kinda assumed you would’ve just ignored it.”

“I don’t blame you for thinking that since it has been ten years since we last spoke. But for Becca, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I replied to her. She gave a small smile back in response. “I’m sure she would’ve been glad to see you here.” She had a sort of faraway look in her eyes. I could tell the memories of the past were getting to her, and they were getting to me, too.

Ten years ago, on August 14th, a great tragedy struck our town. Lili’s older sister Becca, alongside two other girls, was killed in a massive car accident. The car was massively destroyed and set on fire. The girls’ bodies were burned, barely recognizable. It was discovered that Becca was the one driving and that she was heavily under the influence when she was driving. So, the town sheriff ruled it out as a reckless drunk driving case, which wrecked the people in town.

Bigotry and racism were already a problem in this town, but since the Santiagos were Mexicans, it skyrocketed. The town became divided, with people blaming the Santiagosfor the other girls’ deaths. From what I heard through the letters that I received, many people retaliated by vandalizing the diner to seek justice.

“So, Lili, what have you been up to in the last ten years? I hope it wasn’t staying in town working here,” I joked, jolting her back from painful memories. She let a chuckle at my poor attempt at a joke and gave me a smile that I perceived to be full of adornment. “No,” she dragged out. “I left town, too. I attended the University of Arizona for their amazing biology department and then I went to Duke University for their amazing genetics department,” she boasted.

I look at her with pride shining in my eyes. “That’s amazing! You always wanted to do work with genetics.” She has always been a major nerd in science, especially since she was president of the high school biology, chemistry, and physics clubs. “Thank you. I gotta tell you, though, some days it feels like a dream to be able to do the work that I do,” she expresses. “That’s nonsense!” I cried out, giving her an exasperated look. “You are one of the smartest people that I know. And that is saying something since this is the town we grew up in,” I said, slipping in a joke to make her smile.

She chuckled and sent out one of her famous smiles when the bell above the diner suddenly rang. The sound broke us out of our trance, and upon looking around, I noticed that the diner was empty. “I’ll be right back,” she said as she hurried to check who it was. I looked up by the door to see Theo Wilson dressed as a cop. Woah! When did he want to be a cop?

Lili went up to greet him with a smile. I couldn’t see him clearly since his back was towards me. Instead of awkwardly waiting at the booth, I got up and approached them. I guess sensing a presence, Theo turned around to see me. I guessed the sight of me was very scary since it caused him to look almost as pale as a ghost. Note the sarcasm.

“N-Noa-ah,” he stuttered out. "Hey Theo,wassup,” I replied, trying to keep a slight annoyance out of my voice. Why is he looking at me like that? Lili looked between the two of us with confusion since, as far as she knew, Theo and I never really talked. “I’ll go ahead and grab your order,” she responded, using it as an excuse to get herself out of what was starting to be an awkward starring contest.

As she headed over to the kitchen, I noticed that Theo was looking at her with a longing in his eyes, a look I knew all too well. Suddenly, a sharp pain hits my chest as painful memories try to resurface. But I quickly shut that down and refocused to look at Theo, though I had to strain my neck a bit since he was taller than me. Theo Wilson is the son of Vivianna and Marcus Wilson, one of the richest families in our town. He also has a twin sister named Rayna, who, if memory serves correctly, was notorious back in high school for being the queen bee.

While she ruled the school, Theo stood in the shadows; they were truly the definition of opposites. But it never mattered because you always found them hanging out with each other and another kid. Those three were such a tight group that it was borderline creepy at times, and they were so close.

I guess my staring back was too much because Theo snapped out of whatever love trance he was in and noticed my presence. “So, you’re back in town, huh?” he questioned, trying to make small talk. “Yeah, just for Becca’s anniversary get-together. I’m not sure when I’ll be leaving, though,” I responded. He nodded in confirmation and proceeded to rock back and forth while looking everywhere but me.

“You know what? Tell Lili that I will catch up with her tomorrow, okay? It’s late, and I gotta a long drive back home.” He snapped back from whatever he was thinking and said, “Yeah, sure! Drive safely,” he wished me. I just nodded back and made my way out the door and towards the parking lot to my car. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I did not notice the presence of someone watching me.

_____________________________________________

Twenty-five minutes later, I am pulling up the driveway of my family’s farmhouse. It seems all the lights except the one in the living room are out. I wondered who was there. Since no other type of vehicle was in the driveway besides mine,I pondered. I hopped out of my truck and went to the back seats to grab my two duffle bags of stuff. I made sure to lock my car door before heading to the front. As I walked the pathway, the front door suddenly opened.

Lord, behold was my mother with tears in her eyes. “Oh, my baby!” she rejoiced. As I reached her, she pulled me into her brace, rocking us back and forth. She kept mumbling words that sounded like a welcome home, my love. I haven’t seen my mother since I was away in the last ten years; we only communicated by letter. I could tell it was hard for her since all her children enlisted in the army. The Carter men have served this country for as long as I can remember. My father never failed to engrain that fact in my brothers’ and Is’ heads about it. For him, it was either you serve and join the family legacy, or you weren’t a part of this family at all.

I broke our embrace, even though it pained me, and gave her a smile and said, “How about we continue our reunion inside?” She hurriedly went back inside, and I grabbed my bags to follow her. As I entered my childhood home, I was hit with a sense of nostalgia. The house felt like it was stuck in time, with everything still the same.

“You can drop your stuff off in your old room if you want. It’s just how you left it,” she called out from the kitchen. I hadn’t realized she made it that far inside. “Okay, ma!” I yelled out and then made my way towards the stairs. Our house wasn’t a big fancy mansion like the Wilson’s, but it was pretty big since our family was big. Once I reached the top, I made a left since my brothers and I stayed on that side. The right is where my parents stayed. On each side were two bedrooms separated by a bathroom. Toby’s and Matty’s room and bathroom were on the left, and mine and Mikey’s room and bathroom were on the right.

The memories of waking up extra early before school started so I could beat Mikey to the bathroom and hearing Toby and Matty argue over whose turn it was flashed in my brain. As one can imagine, living in a house with all my older brothers was hell, but we made it work.

I walked past the rooms to make it to mine. I could tell it was mine, with the giant do not enter sign in bright red spray paint marked the door. Mom was not kidding about it being exactly how I left it. I turned the door and entered what felt like a time machine, and I was being transported back into the past. I scanned the room to see my walls littered with posters of different bands and singers. I spotted my old guitar leaning by my bookcase. As I entered the time capsule, I could tell one different thing: no dirty laundry on the floor.

I dropped my bags by my desk and made my way to my dresser with an urgency. If Mom was in my room, then that means someone else could have been here, too. I pulled the top drawer completely out and removed all the stuff inside. Then, I removed the fake bottom, where the things I wanted hidden all those years ago reside. You see, living with a military father, it was hard to keep things private as he would do random room checks on us. I had to learn to be creative with my hiding spots.

Inside the drawer were items of the past that hold great memories for me: a ticket stub to see the new Star Wars movie, a blue guitar pick that has seen better days, and a CD mix with the cover saying N+A surrounded by a heart. Thank God, it is here. I put everything back and slid the dresser drawer back in place before returning to the bathroom. It was time for a nice shower and bed since tomorrow would be a big day.