Chapter 1
♥︎ My heart's desire ♥︎
♡ By Dua ♡
Dua's pov :
Please don't disturb me, Hina. Dua said, in louder voice getting annoyed. What happened, Dua? This isn't such a big thing. Don't overreact like this, please.
Yes, it's not a big thing, but I'm not feeling good about it. Please, you go from here. Hina took a deep breath and gave Dua a sorrowful look, then went out of the room.
Dua was sitting on her bed with her head on the crown when a tear fell from her eye.
Yesterday's flashback:
Your uncle Khalid is saying you won't go to school for teaching. Miss Nadia said in a straight but low voice while she was not looking at Dua. But what's the issue, Mama? She said in a little angry voice. It's not a bad thing, but what can we do? They're elder, and we have to do what they say. Miss Nadia said calmly while sitting on the sofa.
Dua felt a strong sense of helplessness. I don't understand the logic of elders at all. I just don'ttttttt. She said in frustration. What's wrong if I teach? It's beneficial for me; my mind will be free from useless thoughts, and I'll spend my day in a better way. But you are not trying to understand me, Mama.
Dua looked at her mother with sad eyes and said, "If Papa were alive today, we wouldn't need anyone's permission to do anything."
Dua's mother looked at her with tearful eyes and gulped her saliva .Dua said this and ran to her room with eyes full of tears.
PRESENT:
What happened? Didn't you bring Dua with you downstairs? Miss Nadia asked Hina. I've told her many times, but she's not listening, saying she can't waste her life like this, at least let her do something.Hina said while going to kitchen and held a carrot from the kichen counter.
Miss Nadia took a deep breath and went towards Dua's room. She slowly opened the door and entered. In the room, Dua had spread a prayer mat beside her bed and was sitting on it, praying.Miss Nadia felt pity on her and looked at her with loving eyes.
Dua finished her prayer and stood up, seeing her mother. She put the prayer mat on the sofa and losen her scarf, then said.
Yes, Mama, do you need anything? She looked at Miss Nadia with innocent eyes. No, my child, I didn't need anything. I came to call you for lunch. Miss Nadia said lovingly. Mama, I'm not hungry. You and Hina eat, please. Miss Nadia went close to Dua and held her hand, making her sit on the bed.
Look, my child, I'm your mom, and I know you're not happy with this, but what can we do? Your uncle Khalid is older than us and your father's older brother.He must have thought carefully before making this decision.
Miss Nadia looked at Dua with pleading eyes.
Dua took a deep breath and said, "Okay, Mama, as you think is right. I won't go for teaching, I'll stay at home. Now you are happy?" Dua said with a slight smile.
Miss Nadia also smiled and held Dua's hand, standing up. That's my daughter. Let's go have lunch, okay? Improve your mood now.Miss Nadia patted her cheek, and they both went downstairs.
Wow, Mama, she finally listened to you, but she didn't listen to me, despite my efforts to convince her.Hina pretended to look sad. And made a pout.Dua smiled and playfully hit Hina's head.Be quiet and eat. Dua said smilingly.
After lunch, they talked and spent quality time together.
AT NIGHT:
After dinner, Hina went to her room to complete her assignment, and Miss Nadia also went to her room .
Dua went to Miss Nadia's room and asked Mama, "Have you slept?" She called out from outside the door. No, my child, I'm still awake.Miss Nadia replied, resting her head on the bed crown while adjusting her comforter.
Dua brought a glass of water for her mother and handed her the medicine.Miss Nadia took the medicine, and Dua said her goodnight.Miss Nadia looked at her and smiled. And Dua returned to her room.
Upon entering her room, Dua performed ablution and started to prepare for Esha Salah.After completing her salah, she raised her hands to pray. She felt a strange unease in her heart and tears welled up in her eyes.And her breath started to get heavier.
She covered her face with her hands and said, "Oh Allah, you know the pain I'm going through, don't you? You know everything, please grant me peace. And accept all my prayers, please have mercy on me, my dear Allah." She said in a low whisper.
After finishing her prayer, she folded the prayer mat and put it on the side table and put her scarf in the cupboard, and took out her diary from the shelf. She dimmed the lights of the room because she finds peace in darkness. She sat on the bed with her diary. She gently ran her hand over her diary and opened it. Her hands were shaking, and tears in her eyes were dripping onto the pages of the diary. She lifted the diary slightly and said,
"I wish you could know how much I love you.
I wish you could understand the agony I go through every day .
I wish i could tell you,
I wish..."
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"If only you understood,
it would have been wonderful. "
♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎
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Love from Dua♥︎