Chapter 1
It was the sunshine and the nights were cold and what else did I think about the whole things. The stuffy small room where nothing went right made me seek the other rooms in the big house. I was somewhat shelter from school because I was destined for higher things.
I did not know what but some other thoughts were roaming inside the minds of the older persons. I was not much they said nobody would miss me or know. I was not much just this simple small fool. Nothing really.
Around the house something was going on and I did not find out until much later. Something was going on and someone said it was drugs related with something to do with mafia and there was not much anyone could speak about it.
Some money related and the one of the woman wore diamonds and a mink white coat. She was something to look at too. She was flattered all the time to be seen like that. She disliked to wear anything but mink except when she was in bed then she wore a floating satin something. I thought she was naked but she said she wore satin.
Then she had a baby and she started to burn his or her clothes. Never found out until much later it had been a girl. So I made certain the girl got married unlike her ma who died in a home where she tried to kill her own mother. That is the grandmother of the kid.
The kid whose mother Mary burnt the nappies and the sheets and everything else in the pot.
She just was not cut out to boil nappies. I do not know what kind of a Mother she became but she did not speak about her ma.
Mary took the child to meet the family at twelve while she danced and had affairs with the master and he had a wife then. Almost this cocoon we lived in within that house we did not have enough to eat but outside the door we saw plenty of show people in their finery and they would prance and dance and then leave. The whole point is lost on me.
That they were not us. That they were nothing like us that is what Mother said in a sarcastic manner. The family disowned her she said lied because she did not want to face the fact that she was a disgrace that she had seduced the head mafias wife and she was banned from eating and we would have starved but for some help.
They did not want to say what had happened but we all five two girls under five and I and mother and Fidel would have perished from cold and hunger in that genteel house.
No one fed us but they fed the girls. B started to rampage and so had Z in their own way they were given stuff. That is why compared to me they are more friendly.
Then Mary went left or we did? I think we did but Mary did not become significant until she became infamous and died in a nursing home. She died before she lived she led a life of parties and wildness and dance. She danced until she could not dance or dare anything anymore she was so pretty she even was page 3.
Never mind the scandal broke her back. The scandal did no good to anybody and she was no angel but the whole point was if you allow these men and women to take away the hand they take your arm off. I saw them as they came floating in and out of my childhood eye. There is nothing I liked about them they were for me foreign eerie people who did things were not stuffy but had to beware of. “They can sting you and mark you”, Zeks would shout, “don’t trust them they are not human they want human flesh.”
“What flesh?”
“You will find out,”
I was the immaculate birth she said and nobody would spoil that for me.
I was so amazed then read the Bible and obviously realized it was not true.
Because when Julie said that my parents had sex I attacked her in the playground and nearly bashed her head in. Until her eyes stopped me until her words said “I am speaking the truth,”
I never trusted Mother again she lied and held the scissors in case someone got into bed with me.
“What is this?” Mother asked.
“It is my only protection,”
“But God is, is it not the truth?”
“No,”
The child is becoming clearly psychotic,”
“Here take a pill,” Dad Abdul said.
I slept till midnight and was still drowsy. I was subdued and then fainted.
“The whole point is not to kill her until we make a profit,” Said Abdul.
The reasons behind all this- I was growing up too fast and Abdul was too busy with his other daughters to school me. They went to a better school learned French and were good at all the games and had gained in popularity. Dad was so pleased.
Damned them I did. If they went to school so must we as we were his as well.
“No you don’t you can’t,”
“Yes I will,”
