THANATOS

Taipei City, Taiwan

The past was a place Megan didn’t like to visit. It was full of nothing but memories; and while others might cherish that fact, the thirty two-year old, blonde-haired woman only felt distaste whenever they came her way.

As a psychologist – former psychologist, Megan corrected her thought; the profession was as firmly locked away as the rest of the past she had an aversion to – she had a firsthand understanding that memories were tricky things. They never presented themselves as they were at conception. They were full of exaggeration; romanticization of the good, demonization of the bad. They were more fiction than fact really, and the farther they were, the more fictional they became; and even for an avid reader like herself, there was only so much she could take.

Still, the past threatened to drag Megan into itself.

Must have something to do with the time, she thought to herself as her taxi came to a stop in front of the five-storey, old residential building she called home.

Megan took a minute to settle herself when she highlighted, pulling the grey winter coat and red muffler tighter around herself before breathing in the cold December night air and breathing out again in deep motions.

The last day of December is always a time for retrospection, she acknowledged, and while she herself saw no special significance to it – it was a day of twenty-four hours just like the rest three hundred and sixty-five of the year after all– the atmosphere around made it that once or twice, she found herself unconsciously slipping into the tradition of reflection and resolution.

But the past was still a place Megan couldn’t go, especially the previous year before that one now ending.

The year in question wasn’t a bad one in the strictest sense of the word, it had to be said. In fact, it did have its good moments. It had opened her to a new experience. A new experience of her capabilities, her sense of purpose, and camaraderie with people she never would have imagined would cross her path. It had even allowed her the opportunity of redemption that she had been searching for such a long time for.

However, the year also demanded something of her that she couldn’t afford to give: her soul.

Enough of that now, Megan snapped herself out of the thoughts and proceeded into the building.

With brisk steps, she stepped past the security guard at the door, already gone before he had the chance to acknowledge her presence. She wasn’t in the mood for the neighbourly pleasantries that came with the season that night, but she wasn’t to be lucky in the elevator when an elderly couple stepped in just as she pressed the button for her floor and the doors made to close.

“Hello, dear,” the woman greeted first, smiling in that graceful manner characteristic of old wisdom as she held the door for her and her husband to get in. “Happy new year in advance to you.”

“And to you too, grandma.” She smiled back.

The man only nodded his greeting and Megan was happy it was over.

Two more people joined in the elevator then– two men in their mid-twenties with earphones on so they didn’t greet the other occupants – and the door was finally closed.

Megan relegated herself to the back of the group just as the ascent began; a habit she had picked up from her previous year experience. Better to be the one watching than the one being watched, she had concluded.

She looked at the elderly couple again, this time actually observing them. They looked in their eighties, wearing matching red outfits, holding each other’s hands amidst an almost telepathic huddle even as there was more than enough room in the elevator to accommodate four more people. The typical sweet oldies, she noted.

The youngsters were less typical.

One had music blasting so loud from his earphone that Megan could faintly hear the bass coming out of it. The silver earring, skull ring on his left index finger, and electric guitar sticker on his phone seemed to portray him as a hard rock fan, but his wallpaper when his phone lit up showed a smiling mermaid with blue tail and pink hair and bubble floats whenever he tapped, causing her to wonder if he wasn’t as hard of a fan as she thought, or perhaps someone else handled his phone more often than he did.

The second, on the other hand, had on a sportswear with a football club logo Megan couldn’t identify. His aura was quieter than his friend, but he also seemed to exude something else that had her questioning if the quiet aura was really him or just a front.

The elevator dinged to a stop on the third floor; Megan’s stop.

“Excuse me.” She tapped the rock guy in front of her and he stepped aside.

“Happy new year in advance once again, dear,” the woman greeted her and she smiled.

Megan tried to realign herself back to the lonesomeness of her space as she walked the short distance down the corridor to her apartment, but just as she got to her door, she suddenly had a strange feeling wash over her and her body went tense.

Something’s wrong, her mind told her, and no sooner had it done so that she heard the elevator ding again behind her.

Megan whirled around, ready to fight, but she came to a stunned stop when she saw the elderly woman appear with the same graceful smile she held in the elevator.

“Grandma, is anything the problem?” she asked, her breath coming out in little gasps from all the excitement.

“Oh, sorry to intrude on you my dear but I realized I should have given you something when we met in the elevator.” She pressed a little box of cookies and chocolate into Megan’s hands. “For luck in the coming year.”

Fortune cookies, Megan laughed a little in her own head. She wasn’t the spiritual or superstitious type – at least not anymore – but that had to be the opening line to a very weird holiday experience.

“Thank you,” she said anyway, waving with a smile till she saw the elderly woman disappear into the elevator again.

Now, to get away from all this weirdness and back to my own self, she thought as she opened the door to her apartment and clicked on the light.

“Good evening, Miss Months.”

Megan jumped back at the man in black suit seated coolly in her reading chair with a business smile on his face. The past was a place she didn’t like to visit, but the appearance of the person in front of her was a great indicator that she might not have a choice in the matter anymore.