Part 2: Chapter 1
“Got my hands in the sky, baby, I, I give up, I surrender. I got used to the thought that I’d probably love you forever. Always on a freefall, fallin’ into your arms, fallin’. Got my hands in the sky, baby, I, I give up, I surrender.”
BIRDIE
Someone once told me about the many facets of love—the love for family, the love for friends, the love for oneself, and the love for romance for a partner. I’m fortunate to have experienced each of these in my life. Finding romantic love was something I never expected. I knew I had already fallen, but now I am flying.
Being around Jaxon is like breathing in fresh air after being trapped in a dusty attic. His presence fills the empty measures like notes on a sheet. A nervous thrill dances in my chest whenever he’s close, a skittish butterfly with restless wings. It isn’t fear, but an exhilarating mix of anticipation and contentment. He is a kaleidoscope of unsaid emotions, a beautiful mess that I hope to unwrap each and every day.
Jaxon is the essence I crave, everything I need to feel unconditionally loved. The spark, the burn that connects us feels unbreakable. This changes me, even though a part of me knows I shouldn’t give in. It tells me to live in the present, not chase futures.
Every sappy romantic comedy movie Jess and I watched becomes real for me. I surrender to the fantasy that true love exists, not some fabricated ideal meant to keep women—or men should you desire—chasing happily ever after. And here I am. I choose to love him. For the first time, my future becomes my focus.
Jaxon filled those four days devouring every inch of my body, not just praising, but confirming to him, to me that we are more than just a spark, or a heated desire but two lovers connected as one. For four days I was trapped in a world of an emotional wave that carried me forward on a crest of pure joy, a feeling like no other. The world was a vibrant melody, but with him, the notes shimmered and became a deafening orchestra of sound. The air hummed with possibility, and every beat of my heart echoed with the exhilarating truth. I had found love and love I had never dreamt of knowing.
Although through the midst of the four days of love making, those words: “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” and his need for the titles scratched my ears like a chalkboard. I don’t “do” titles. Why did my pathetic mind and little heart let me do this? But the resistance to his pull, his love for me, let those words very quietly wave over, pulling the sand back with the ocean current.
We spent weeks working on songs together. The time spent never felt like work, it felt like harmony. While electronic music has always been my passion, he opened my ears to the beauty of orchestral strings and focused more on acoustic versions.
My appreciation for music has deepened. I can now discern the meticulous attention to detail—the dynamics of each note, the bowing technique of the violin, and the use of special effects—and how these elements work together.
This newfound understanding significantly enriched my experience of listening to music and has also influenced my own compositions. I received valuable guidance on a piano piece. I was shown how to incorporate a specific string harmony, featuring moving notes and a sustained top note in a measure, which added both depth and character to the composition.
“You are improving quickly.”
“That’s because I have a great teacher.” I smile. “Now you have to show me how to play the violin.”
“A completely different concept than piano and guitar, Miss Mitchell.”
“Are you doubting my abilities, Mr. Hart?”
“Not at all. Break?”
“Do you need one, old man?”
“If I recall, it was you who wasn’t able to keep up last night.”
“I call bull shit, but I guess we’ll have to make it up later.” I laugh.
“Don’t tempt me, Miss Mitchell.”
“Oh, I will.” I give Jaxon a sultry grin and bite my lip.
With a groan he gives me a sweet passionate kiss, but we’re disrupted by both our phones.
“It’s Eddie. I have to get back to my office.”
“Parker and Jess are calling. Talk later then?”
“Come to my office when you’re done for the day.”
“Is that where we’ll making up for lost time?”
“Miss Mitchell,” Jaxon scolds and answers his phone exiting the studio, while I laugh answering mine.
“Hey slut bag!”
“Hey to you too.”
“Aw, look at that smile on your face!” Jess gleams. “You look so happy!”
“Oh my God. Stop!” I roll my eyes.
“Well, you won’t wipe that damn smile off your face lately!”
I can’t help it.
“As you are aware, we are going to be home very soon. And we want to get tickets!” Parker belts.
I internally laugh. Tickets…that’s what got Jaxon and me on a first date.
“What for?” I ask, stupidly.
“Do you ever come up for air? Amp! And we will be back in the big apple when it starts, and YOU are coming with us! We’ll do a full girl’s night out thing!”
Amp, the brainchild of a long-term partnership with Hart, throws one of New York’s biggest musical bashes every year. Spanning a whole week, the festival pulsates with the energy of legendary acts gracing the stage alongside red-hot newcomers. It’s not uncommon to see iconic bands reforming for a special Amp reunion set, sending waves of nostalgia through the crowd. The atmosphere buzzes with anticipation for every act, from the seasoned headliners who haven’t lost a step to the raw energy of fresh talent clawing their way to the top.
“I’m loving this!”
We run through plans for this “girl’s outing”. Pregame with loads of junk food and liquor, then head out to the concert…simple enough. I can’t wait until Jess and Parker are back.
I slam the final track into the sequencer, a triumphant smile splitting my face. Today’s been a marathon of contemporary pop and heart pounding EDM, fleshing out my new material. With a satisfied sigh, I stretch my arms out, the familiar pop sounds echoing in the recording studio. Grabbing my new messenger bag, I practically skip through the hall, each step lighter than the last to Jaxon’s office eager for another night of sweet, sweet bliss in that man’s arms.
Eddie surprisingly comes out of nowhere with a serious look on his face halting me from entering. Normally we all just barge through, but unsettlement seeps into the air.
“What’s going on?”
Eddie whispers, “You don’t want to know. He’s pissed.”
Of course, I want to know.
For a man so pissed, he never seems to raise his voice that I’ve seen or heard, the other side of the room is hauntingly quiet. Well, let’s not forget when he got physical with Jayce. I puff my cheeks out and release a long huff as Eddie and I stand outside awkwardly.
“Should I leave?”
Eddie just shrugs. “He’s your man.”
Right…
The door opens slightly, and Jaxon’s gorgeous eyes take me in.
With his hand covering the speaker of his phone he says, “Mick is on his way. Pick a place to grab some food. I’ll meet you there.”
He will regret that decision.
“Are you sure?”
With a quick nod, Jaxon gets back to the conversation on the phone and shuts the door.
I certainly do not have the same palate as him, nor the same type of grandeur in style, so the best place I could think of is Jess’s, Parker’s, and my usual.
“Well, my man has spoken. I’ll see you around.” I raise and lower my shoulders before making my exit.
Mick drops me off at the usual. The familiar sight greets me as I step out of the car. I make my way down the creaking, weathered metal stairs, feeling the cool breeze brush against my skin. I head straight to the bar, ready to quench my hunger and thirst. I don’t bother waiting to order; my stomach grumbles impatiently.
“Hey pretty lady, is this seat taken?”
My eyes grow wide as I turn my body toward the voice while I overstuff my mouth with the salacious beef burger. I’m pretty sure I also have some left-over meat juice dribbling down my chin.
“Still a slob, Brigs.”
I shouldn’t be surprised he’s here. Finn wipes my chin with his finger and leans over the bar top to my right.
Still a flirt.
“Haven’t talked to you in a while. Congrats again on the win from Lora’s album.”
“Thanks!”
“Eating alone?”
A rich baritone voice interrupts from my left. “No.”
Oh, that beautiful man’s voice gets me every time. Jaxon is hovering over me with an unamused look. I smile even with the food stuffed inside my cheeks as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and swallow. I take a very long swig of my ale and watch the interaction.
“My bad.” Finn reacts as if humored by Jaxon’s presence.
“Your bad,” Jaxon responds with a look of askance. He settles on the worn cushion next to me and slips a quick kiss. “Didn’t mean to keep you.”
“Oh, it’s okay. Um, Finn this is Jaxon. My…the uh…boyfriend,” I say with way too much inflection in my voice.
Awkward…
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone,” Finn quietly says. He then stands up and gestures an upward nod with his chin as a silent “Hey, what’s up?”
“I’m Finn. Nice to meet you, man.”
“Jaxon.” He sounds completely uninterested.
I scratch my scalp and run my hands through my waves a few times. “Uh, Finn is an old friend of mine at The Warehouse. He’s the bartender there,” I explain.
Finn stuffs his hands in his pockets and glances between the two of us, while Jaxon holds his gaze.
“Well, I don’t want to keep you from eating and what not,” Finn coolly speaks and rubs the back of his neck. “I’ll text you later, kay babe?”
“Yeah, sure,” I respond without trying to sound overly nervous to see these two interact. Jaxon’s overheated envy is blaring in my direction.
I sit back down after Finn gives me a quick hug and I take a long sip of the fruity and full-bodied ale.
“Babe?” Jaxon lifts an eyebrow.
“Green with envy? I think I recall you having a little of it in you at the after party in L.A.”
“Don’t push it, babe,” he mocks.
I let out a small chuckle as I watch him read over the menu. The poor guy sticks out like a sore thumb in here. I smile and tuck my lips as I stare at him.
“What?”
“You don’t fit.”
Cocking his eyebrow, Jaxon smirks.
“This place, I mean. I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.”
“It’s…charming.”
I can’t remove the smile from my face as he eyes the surrounding of the basement dive bar.
“Anything on the menu that doesn’t involve eating without utensils?”
“No. It’s all finger food here. Although, I’m sure someone may give you a strange look for cutting your burger.”
He lets out a gruff and looks over the menu again. There aren’t that many options, how many times can you reread the one-paged laminate mat? Eventually he settles for a burger with tatter tots and it’s fucking adorable. The little crisp cylinders are so tiny compared to his hands.
I lean over with my elbow on the bar and my chin in my hand. “You eat sandwiches with your hands. What’s the difference?”
“This is…very dirty. Greasy.” He wipes his hands for at least the tenth time on the paper napkin ripping it a part with a disgusted face.
“Don’t be such a snob. Would you like me to feed you instead?” I pick up the longest French fry from my basket and bite. Then lick the salt off my fingers very, very slowly. Who knew skinny potatoes could be so sexy?
“You should finish your food instead of play with it.”
“I’m not hungry anymore.” I shrug one shoulder.
“Let’s get out of here,” he whispers in my ear, effortlessly sliding a hefty bill to the bar tender.
