Before
She lay lifeless beneath me. I pushed myself away from the girl and looked at the floor-length mirror in the small storage room. In the faint light, I can just make out the deep red of her blood, concealing the freckles that dusted my shoulders, face, and chest. The girl had fought back, but to no avail other than ripping my shirt.
The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all.
I dared a glance back at the blonde and slumped to the floor at what I saw. She barely breathed, her green, slightly glazed eyes looking up, slowly filling with tears. Blood pooled under her head where she had hit it in the skirmish. 911 was already on its way; she had called them before I lost it. I can hear faint sirens in the distance as I let my head fall into my hands and sit there. I couldn’t even cry; I’d never cried after the age of six, but my stupid self couldn’t muster a tear for someone I almost killed. No, I just sit there.
I don’t know how long it has been, but soon, the door slams open, and cops run in, guns in hand. I’m cuffed, and I don’t even fight it.
Sarah was her name—the girl. I had a class with her back in 9th grade. She and I never talked much, but neither of us hated the other. We would wave and say hi if we saw each other in the hallway or let each other borrow our notes. But now, she is being wheeled away. Pale, almost still, other than her chest barely rising and falling. The police took me away for questioning as Sarah was driven away in the ambulance.
They won’t believe me.
And they didn’t at first. That was until my medical record was shown in court, proving that, somehow, having Capgras proves that it wasn’t my fault I did it.
But it was. I almost killed her.
And so, I promised myself never to hurt anyone again. I didn’t even touch anyone for years after, but my best friend slowly helped me through it all. But I still live with the memory of her under me, trying to pry my bloody hands from her throat, trying desperately to call for help, to get air, and then to stay alive as the blood leaked from beneath her.
I did that. And no disability should allow them to excuse me for that.
