Just some constructive criticism….
The plot is good but there’s a few things in the story that you want to avoid when writing. First, the alarm clock scene and Amanda waking up. This is a very common cliche so I would edit that part out. You did great with starting where Amanda gets the job, it’s just that the alarm clock is irrelevant in the next scene. Instead you want to start where Amanda leaves for work and she senses a man following her.
Read the story now
Next thing I want to point out is pacing and info dumping. The story is told a little too fast so I would slow down the pace to give the readers time to get to know the main characters. Also, there’s a lot of telling rather than showing. I know this is written in first person but you can still spice things up a bit! Instead of just telling that the man was stealing money from her, show the interaction between the two characters. My best tip on showing what’s going on in the story is to include dialogue.
Lastly, you want to make things make sense. How exactly does she know that a man was following her? Maybe she saw a reflection in a window or the man made a noise that gave it away. She may sense a man but how does she sense it?
Please don’t take this as hate. If there’s anything in here that is misunderstood, please feel free to comment. I just know that there’s some readers out there that would expect more out of this story and one time I wrote a story and I received a comment saying it was boring. I don’t want this for you so you would want to make your book exciting and I feel like you’re heading that route. It just need a fixer upper.
For more tips on writing, I suggest you check out Jenna Moreci on YouTube. She’s a published author and is a pro at giving writing advice!😁