Teaching The Babysitter

Start writing herI’m Nick, a 30-year-old guy who’s truly living the American Dream. Happily married to my college sweetheart, picture-perfect in our suburban haven, and living in a cozy house we bought together within a fantastic neighborhood boasting top-notch schools. A few years down the line, our little family grew with the arrival of our daughter, adding even more joy to our lives. Life couldn’t be sweeter, and honestly, there’s very little to gripe about.

Fast forward to two years after our daughter’s birth, our story took an unforeseen twist. It was then that the script of our lives began to take an unexpected turn. One I never expected it would take. And that’s where this story unfolds.

I work from home while my wife has to go into the office most days. Taking care of a kid while working from home is not an ideal situation, so my wife and I hired a babysitter. At first we looked around on all the major websites, but everyone was too expensive. Eventually we got a recommendation from a neighbor. She said that she and her husband used a young woman named Alexis when they would go out for date nights. The neighbor mentioned that Alexis had just graduated high school and was planning on taking a gap year before starting college.

My wife reached out to Alexis on social media and arranged for her to come over and meet us after work one evening. As Alexis first walked in I couldn’t help but notice her Asian features. I think she was Filipino or something similar. My first impression of Alexis was that she was quiet and shy. She wore loose fitting sweatpants and a hoodie. Her short stature and dark rimmed glasses didn’t help her shyness. She was maybe 5 feet tall with shoes on. She had straight black hair that went down to the middle of her back and was kept in a simple ponytail.

She didn’t say much unless she was asked a question, and even then, her answers were short. Alexis said she was 18, about to turn 19. She lived at home with an older brother and two younger sisters. Her parents lived a few blocks away. Considering she didn’t have a car, the short distance between her house and ours made it really easy for Alexis.

She didn’t exactly blow us away, but she had some experience and her rate was cheap. We hired her on the spot.

Over the next few months Alexis came over every workday and would keep an eye on our daughter while we worked. At first we didn’t say much to one another. As the days and weeks passed we eventually found some common interests. We liked many of the same TV shows, we both played basketball in high school, we both liked the same fast food restaurants. We started to bond over those things.

It turned out Alexis was a really sweet girl. We would have these conversations about sports, and TV shows that I never wanted to end. I started arranging my lunches around my daughter’s nap time so Alexis and I could chat while we both ate lunch. If I went out or ordered food for lunch, I’d buy her food as well. Our lunches started to become the highlight of my workday.

One day during one of these lunches Alexis asked me a question that caught me completely off guard.

“Do college guys care about how experienced a girl is?”

My mind immediately jumped to dirty thoughts, but I wasn’t sure that’s what she meant. The question was vaguely worded.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… Like do guys in college care if a girl has ever done anything with a guy?”

I think I knew what she was asking, but we’d never talked about this kind of thing before. I wanted to be 100% sure before I said something I might regret.

“I still don’t understand. Can you be more specific?”

“I mean like do guys in college care if a girl has ever kissed a guy?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I… I guess that depends on the guy? I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in college.”

Alexis sat there quietly for a moment.

“I don’t know. I have this friend that’s in college and she told me that I should find a guy to hook up with before I go to college.” she explained.

“Why’s that?” I said, worried that her friend might be pressuring her into doing something she didn’t want to do.

“I don’t know. She knows I’ve never had a boyfriend. Maybe she’s just teasing me.”

The fact Alexis just admitted she hadn’t had a boyfriend was a surprise to me. It’s not as though she was unattractive.

“Maybe. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Everyone does things at their own pace.”

“Yeah…” Alexis said, looking down at her food. I could tell something was still bothering her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, worried that there was more to this than her friend teasing her.

“It’s okay. I don’t know if I should talk to you about this.”

“Well, whatever it is is clearly bothering you.”

Alexis just shrugged her shoulders, “It’s okay.”

“You sure?” I asked, giving her another opportunity to tell me whatever it was that was on her mind.

Alexis hesitated for a moment.

“It’s just that I’ve never even kissed a boy and next year I’m going to be going to college. I feel like everyone is going to have way more experience than me.” she explained, avoiding any eye contact with me.

“It’s perfectly normal to feel that way. Like I said, everyone’s at their own pace. Don’t worry about what other people have done.” I said, trying to comfort the 18 year old girl who was clearly feeling the pressures of moving out on her own.

“I know, but what if I meet a guy and then I don’t know what to do?” Alexis asked.

I didn’t know how to answer this question without sounding weird.

“Well… If the guy is worth your time, he’ll be patient.” I said, carefully picking my words.

“I guess. I just wish I could find a guy I could do stuff with so I knew what I was doing, you know?”

I instinctively answered, “Yeah,” and immediately regretted it.

Alexis sat there quietly picking at her food.

“Would you be willing to teach me?” she asked in a tone that was more shy than usual.

I was caught off guard again, “Teach you?” I asked.

“You know… what to do…”

If I wasn’t married I would have jumped at the opportunity.

“I… I can’t do that, Alexis.” I said, trying to mask the regret in my voice.

I could see Alexis slump down in her chair, rejected.

“I’m sorry.” I said, “I can’t do that to my wife…”

“Well, she doesn’t have to know…”

Just then my daughter woke up from her nap, which abruptly ended our conversation. Alexis got up from the table to tend to my daughter while I went back to work in my office. We didn’t speak the rest of the day, other than a simple good bye when she left just before my wife got home.