My Colorful Nightmares

Child POV

Everyone fears the dark,

But we were all born from it-

The moist, warm walls that caged me,

The thick air that strangled me

Till I nearly lost it all

Before I began.

Yet I felt comfort.

For I had never seen,

Never known,

Never wanted anything more.

This prison was my home.

Even dogs build dens to die in;

I was no different.

Then, a glimpse of light-

Just a pinhole, shallow,

Drifting through this cave that drowned me.

Outside, a voice, a cry,

A sound like cannon fire

Before the blast.

Who could cause her such pain or maybe she's on the verge of going insane?

I heard her scream,

Raw and wild, her teeth digging deep,

Blood seeping from her clenched hand.

But something,

Some force, pushed me toward that light,

Tearing me from my comfort cage,

The only thing I'd known,

Till walls around me twisted,

Sweeping me out rejecting me

Like dirt from a clean doormat .

Doctor: "She's almost there-keep pushing!"

Lilith POV

My scream,

Or like a wild cougar who was in heat-

But I felt no pleasure all I felt was pain and less pain from the center of my very being

I clutched the cold metal,

So much like the knife he used,

To damage me, to punish me

For the pain he said I caused him.

But I wonder,

Is the pain I feel now

Anywhere near the pain I once felt?

Is it anything like it?

Pain pulses through my body,

Sharp as the knife that once

Tried to carve me open,

Like a fish on the chopping board-

Already resigned, knowing their fate

Was set in stone.

A fate I wished at a point

The whole world fucking knew,

But ironically,

That very man,

The one who almost ended my existence,

Is helping me bring this new soul,

Clouded in darkness within me,

Into the light of the world.

My breaths came quick,

Raw, torn from my throat-

The lungs I was so proud of,

The lungs I have forsaken

From every puff of smoke I've taken,

As the room blurred.

The antiseptic smell filled my senses,

Harsh and sterile,

Contrasting the warm, wet reality of birth.

I fought against the memories searing through my mind,

But each time, it broke me into pieces-

Like the vase I killed

By knocking it off the shelf.

The redness in my face now

Reminds me of my mother's enraged face,

Over the vase that I killed out of curiosity now curse from the pain of mother's animosity she left me scars rivaling

The ones from this very man

Who stands next to me now.

Life is strange-

He, the one who scarred me,

Now, somehow, the one I need

To help bring this soul into the light.

Andrea

: "Quit screaming so damn loud. I wish you would scream this loud as when we were having fun making the damn thing.

Just think of the money—we'll finally be able to pay off our debt, and everything will be smooth sailing after that.

So just focus on giving birth to it; otherwise, you'll have a rude awakening back home, and not just from me."

Lilith

: (The woman’s voice came in a whisper.) "Right, I'm sorry. I'll quiet down now."

Doctor

: "The child’s been in there for too long. If it’s left in there any longer, it will suffocate."

Andrea

: "This is your fault, you know. You could have had a happy future with how well you were doing in college and track, but now you're just some regular, ordinary slut on the streets.....

You chose this life; now deal with the pain that comes with it."

Lilith

I deserve this,

is what he always told me,

as if he knew my faith.

It was always like that—

it was always like my faith

is whatever word came out of his mouth.

I knew it wasn't true,

I knew he was faded for more.

In the brief moments where I felt as high as the sky with him,

in reality, I felt that way because he had me so low in the ground,

buried like a corpse, but I was alive.

Where was I?

What am I really doing?

Is this living, for fuck’s sake?

I hate it.

I hate the graceful light that gives the world,

but it only shines on people blessed by it.

Why, why the hell couldn’t it be me?

Why am I not surrounded by cheering,

loved ones,

a guy who loves me dearly,

who would comfort me through this vulnerable time?

Why am I forced to be caged by this bastard

who dictates what he can do with my body,

what he can make me do with my mind,

what he can make me see of the world?

I thought I used to be blind,

but I still can't see the fucking contradiction of life.

The stories, the lies—

good always beats evil.

It was all bullshit,

the lie they told us as children:

Dream big and work for it,

and your dreams will come true.

I wish I’d slit the throat

of everyone who said those misleading words.

I curse the blue sky that shows the new day has arrived,

I wish the gray clouds would cover the bright sky,

so everyone can feel a fraction of the pain of my existence.

And now,

I have to endure the same pain breaking into another existence

of a guy I FUCKING hate with every fabric of my being.

I curse this little spirit,

who has two halves of the things I hate—

this prick standing over me,

and myself.

Child

I see the talons that grabbed me from the nest of my salvation is now dragging me out of the clear darkness into the blinding light to a faith unknown to my small sanctuary It's funny most people fear the darkness because we don't know what's in it but what does that mean to a situation like this

The doctor pulls out the bleeding weeping child The umbilical cord connecting the mother from the child satiating it for 9 long months dangles and is cut away

**Doctor

** It's a baby girl and she seems healthy Good job You work hard as if I agreement y'all will be paid handsomely

**Andrew**

300 bands  Just for a newborn child Do people really are shady but whatever as long as you hold your end of the deal will be fine

**Lilith**

sweat drips from her body as she finally looks up she finally looks up at the object of her hatred the cause of her pain and a two halves of her hell she looks at it her darkness But when she finally looks up all she sees is a vulnerable innocent little girl who has no clue of anything in the world

**Andrew

**hey from the looks of it she just looks like she's going to have my ginger hair honestly I wish I could see it a bit but oh well

**Lilith

** Wait let me hold it-hold her

**Andrew**

are you serious right now look-

**Lilith**

I already know I just want to hold her for the first and last time

**Doctor**

I'm not authorized to let you hold the subject but.…. Just make it quick

Child

The first thing I see is white walls, bathed in light that scares me. Three giants surround me, their faces serious and angry, staring down as they speak gibberish words that mean nothing to me.

It all feels strange. I want to go back—I want to crawl back into the dungeon I came from. But the air here... it’s easier to breathe. The suffocating weight that drowned me before is gone. I guess that’s nice.

The third giant is different. Maybe it’s because of the strand connected to my belly button, the one the doctor could loosen. Or maybe it’s because she’s the one who caged me. Either way, I feel drawn to her. She’s the home I yearned for, the comfort I need.

But when I look at her face, I see only hatred in her eyes. Then I realize: I’m the one who caused her pain. I’m the one driving her insane. She rejects me because I’m an infection—the infection that only takes and never gives.

I was born in darkness because I was born as a curse.

I was born as her curse.

Curses are born from hatred. A product of lack of love At first I thought I was a result of that But the third giant grabbed me and cradled taking me away  from the man in the white suit? Why did the expression in her eyes change from hatred to comforting sadness?

What am I to her? What is she to me? Why is all I can do scream and let water fall from my eyes, yearning for her to accept me?

I don’t want to be rejected. I just want that comforting feeling she gives me after wrapping her arms around me.

Lilith

  (whispering): “I am so sorry… You are my daughter, and I am your mother. I am so weak. All I can do is sit here and cry. All I can do is blame the world for my own mistakes.” She looks into her daughter’s eyes and sees a bright blue color—the same blue as the sky that gives birth to life, the life she rejected, the life she disrespected, now looking back at her, pleading, needing. The feeling she has in that moment is humbling.

"Maybe this is a gift. Maybe this is a reward from the world that put me through such torment, or maybe it had pity on me. I don’t care. I don’t care about this stupid world. My world is now in my arms.

My world is once again innocent, like I once was. She will be told the lies that were drilled into us, that dissociated us, that forced us to live in fiction, unprepared for how reality would treat us. I won’t let it win.

I won’t let those lies win. I have something, someone, worth fighting for. I am prepared to slaughter and scorch the earth—but not for me. All of it will be for you.

I don’t believe in God, but I do believe that you are my savior. Because now, I can dream again—out of this black-and-white nightmare."

"I will name you

Selene

."

Doctor:

"Yeah, you really shouldn’t do that."

Andrew

: "He’s right. What the hell are you thinking? Are you stupid? Listen, Doc, take the damn child away from her."

Lilith

: "Don’t you dare FUCKING!!!! come near us!"

Andrew

: "Has childbirth driven you insane? You really think we, out of all people, can take care of a child?"

Lilith

: "Oh, I was driven insane by you a long time ago. Right now, I’m holding the last bit of sanity I have left."

Doctor

: "But according to our contract—"

Lilith

: "To hell with a contract. You think I’m stupid? All those weird drugs you’ve been giving me—I couldn’t find any information about them on the internet or anything about them in general.

Plus, the feeling they gave me was similar to smoking elixirs. I’m not putting my daughter through the shady stuff you monsters have planned."

Andrew

: "Do you realize how stupid this is? We’re in debt—$700,000—because of your stupid college tuition."

Lilith

: "Why is it always my fault? Why don’t you ever take accountability for your actions? I’m holding your literal daughter—your flesh and blood—and all you can think about is the money.

And you haven’t even mentioned that you’re the main reason we’re in this predicament. You owe the mafia $650,000 out of that debt."

Andrew

: "Exactly. And they’re dangerous people who can make me, you, and everyone we love disappear. So, shortening that debt and figuring out what to do next is the best course of action. Which means we should get rid of the damn thing."

Lilith

: "Stop calling her a thing! She’s your little daughter. What part of that don’t you understand?"

Andrew

: "Do you seriously think I give a shit? I want to live." He rubs his forehead. "Oh my God, I knew we shouldn’t have let her carry the child."

Selene

cries and screams, sensing the tension in the air.

Andrew

: "Oh my God, I do not need this right now. Can someone shut that damn child up?"

Lilith

: "You sociopath! I’m never letting go of this child. I’ll kill every last one of you if you even try to take her from me. You hear me?"

Andrew

punches Lilith clean in the face, knocking her out completely. With a haze, he grabs the screaming child and hands her to the doctor.

Doctor

: "That was a bit harsh. Did you have to hit her?"

Andrew

: "She was being unreasonable. I told you, you shouldn’t have let her hold the child. Whatever. She’ll be fine if the child is away from her long enough.

Hell, if I’m lucky, she might not even remember this moment when she wakes up. Whatever. You better have my money."

Doctor

: "Of course. Your money is already in the mail. On behalf of the foundation, we appreciate your contribution. You bring us one step closer to killing Elixir users."

Andrew

: "So that’s what this is all about? Killing people who take that drug that gives superpowers?"

Doctor

: "Yes, and that’s all you need to know. As per our contract, you cannot share this with anyone.

A breach of contract will result in....

Andrew

: "Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’ve been in shady business before; my lips are sealed."

Selene

The giants—they grew violent. They were loud, and the air was full of distress, while the man in the white suit stood as if he didn’t care. He stripped down the very comfort that held me together, the very comfort that I knew would stick with me through stormy weather.

As the man in white took me away, I cried, saying my final goodbyes, truly understanding my mother’s lies.

The doctor looked down at the child as he walked deeper into the facility.

Doctor

: "Subject BF00, welcome to the foundation. Your new home."

The walls echo with his words, bouncing off into silence, but the quiet doesn’t last long. My own name fills the halls, faint at first, then louder, each call sharper, cutting through my groggy thoughts.

(18 years later into the present day)

“Selene... Selene...

SELENE!!!!!!”

A split-second later, a bullet flies at my head. I grab the nearest dictionary and block it without much thought. It clatters against the book, and I look up to see a girl in goth clothing with black hair and white highlights aiming a semi-automatic pistol, with a gleeful smile on her face.

Hazel

(grinning): “Look who’s finally awake—ex-foundation assassin Selene.”

End of chapter