What is your opinion?
I'm Cold Just Thinking About It!
"Let me just say right off the bat that I really liked the premise of this story. I enjoyed the characters and found myself genuinely invested in their well-being. That being said, I think the ending was just a little abrupt. For me as a reader, that is not a huge concern. Of course, I don't think it detracted from the rest of the plot. My other critique is the writing style. Your grammar all-in-all appeared fine to me, so no complaints there. I might, however, suggest some sentence variation. Periodically, a paragraph might have a bit of an awkward flow to it. But like my other comment, this did not detract from the overall plot. I strongly believe this is a tale worth reading for anyone and everyone and I think you deserve to be published!"
A Trip Across the Snow
"I'm extremely busy with your novel - nowhere near done yet - but the pace is terrific and the dialogue leaving me breathless. A clever subject. I'll be back. (Back at last.) My only problem with this smooth work is deciding the age group for which it is targeted; and still I am not decided. A very pleasant example of fairy tale writing written to please those of any age group seeking to escape. Very little to fault here. Well done."
Wow!
"This story deserves to be published and made into a movie! It should be labeled a comedy-drama! You are true writer/artist! The comedy made me laugh! out loud! The atmosphere made me forget it was summertime! Keep up the great work!"
really enjoyed
"In fact, I was cold reading your book. I liked creativity at the beginning of the story, the description was well used to instill the reader to continue reading"
Almost like a Movie Script
"While this novel isn't of the normal style which I enjoy, it was very hooking. It reads like a fairy tale and has very good descriptions of things. My only real complaints are that sometimes you write thoughts that I think could be better portrayed through characters actions and some minor grammatical error. The way you describe actions and rooms reminded me of a play or movie script."
A Trip Across The Snow
"When you read "A Trip Across The Snow" you can't help but think of fairy tales--and not cheerful Disney ones either. Real, classic fairy tales, beautiful and exciting yet extremely dark at times. There were parts where I don't think I quite realized what you were trying to do, but by the end, for the most part at least, it all made sense and it all worked. The characters and their relationships all felt amazingly real and well developed, but still appropriate for a fantasy novel. It is rare that I read a story with one child character this realistic, let alone five. And, of course, this just makes the dark parts even more devastating. I do have some notes on things that I personally thought could be improved. For one, the bits where the narrator talked to the reader. I understand wanting to do this and it does fit with your story, so I definitely wouldn't take it out or anything. It's just that sometimes it did feel a little awkward and sudden, the way you shifted between regular third person and then almost talking to the reader. Similarly, the flashbacks were confusing, because they were not clearly indicated at all. One paragraph could be following the current story and then, with basically no warning, you switched immediately into a flashback in the next. I recommend being sure to add line breaks before and after each flashback, and/or italicizing flashbacks, or just stating more clearly when the flashback occurred. It doesn't matter exactly what you do but I feel like some kind of separation is necessary. Finally, the ending was a bit too cheerful for me, to the point where it seemed almost like satire. I like everything that happens in the ending and it's certainly nice to have a grain of hope, but I felt like that was taken much too far and it felt quite insane for Lizzy and Oliver to be quite that happy. Some hope is good, but to me being that happy after all that has happened just seems completely impossible and unhealthy. Unless that's the effect you are going for."
Reads Like A Children's Book
"Maybe it was just me, but I didn't get it. For the most part the story reads like a children's book, full of vibrant descriptions of fantastical places and light child-like banter between siblings. The author does a wonderful job in setting the scene and making you feel as though you are about to embark on this wonderful journey across the snow covered mountain peaks with the characters. However, as I progressed further into the novel the overall plot of the story was lost on me, the driving mysticism too vague to follow or make sense of. Did Oliver really lose all of his family during the trip over the mountain only to have one sister magically resurrected at the end? Or was it all some sort of fantastical hallucination on his part? Nothing added up in the end and none of the reader's questions were answered. I'm more than a little confused by what I just read. I can't make heads or tails of it. But maybe that's just me. Maybe I missed something. I'm not quite sure."
