Chapter 1
Sariah wiped her eyes for the fifth time today. She was in Gabe's room. It was big. A simple white and grey. Gabe walked into the room handing her a cup of water. She looked at it. "Does it really look like I want some water?" "Needs are more important than a want." She set it to side. "Drink it. You need it." "No I don't." "Yes you do. You've been drinking more than I have in a week." She rolled her eyes. "Don't roll you're eyes at me Missy. Drink the goddam water." She grabbed it drinking some of it. He sat down next to her. Sariah looked at Gabe. Gabe is 4 years older than her and her crush. He was the total opposite of her crush, from the darkness of his hair to the darkness of his skin. She winced feeling the pain of her headache. "Lay down for a minute." She did so her hands covering her face. "Why does it always happen to me?" He took her shoes off as she rambled on about how unfair life is. "Once you're done taking a nap and your headache settles go change. K?" She nodded. "If you need me just call me." "Ok."
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It was later on when she woke up to smell of spaghetti. She jumped out of the bed and slid into his slide-ons that sat by the side of his bed. She walked down the steps into the kitchen. She inhaled the smell of food. Are you eating spaghetti without me?" Gabe shrugged. "You want a plate?" "Yes. And a coffee if you don't mind." "It's 5pm." "Really? I slept that long?" "Yep." She exhaled sitting down in front of him. He set a plate down on the table. She picked up the fork only taking a bite before sliding it in front of her to lay her head down. "Sit up. Eat it." "I change my mind." "Uh no. You asked for it. You need to eat anyway." "Nooo." "It's not going to jump off the plate." She sat up blowing her wavy hair out of her face. She stared at Gabe who was staring back at her with a serious look that told her she wasn't getting out of it. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you." "You came here on your own crying at my front door." She rolled her eyes actually eating. "I was forced." He scoffed. "Sure. If that's what makes you feel better."
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After they finally got done eating Sariah was eating chocolate watching some reality show. Gabe came up front in jeans and a long white long-sleeve shirt. "I'm going to work. Take a shower cuz I told you to change and you didn't do so. I'm also taking your car so you can't go to store and get more chocolate or any other sweets to make you so claim feel better." "I can still walk." He smiled. "Yes. You could. The closet store is 20 minutes away. And that's just in a car." She narrowed her eye at him. "You just can't help but to irk my nerves everyday. Do you not have anything better to do?" "Yes. I have a job unlike you." "I have a job I just don't work it." "Right. Sure." Gabe walked out of the house. She scoffed going back to her show.
I can see a bunch of problems with this one. To me it feels like you're just listing the things they did that day and not like you're telling me a story. You could've used this chapter to establish the characters which looks to have been what you're going for, but a little more effort could've been added in. We don't even know the reason why she's crying yet(yes I skipped the summary), so there's not much I can see you expanding on for the next chapter and finally, you're not giving me enough reason to go to the next chapter. I don't know why she'd crying or why her friend puts up with her or anything about their bond. Usually most of a books major problems can be seen in chapter 1 so you've got to be both careful and intentional with your execution of your first chapter... Just don't let it paralyze you