Withered flower
Is life supposed to make you feel death is better? But how can unknown be my only option? I’ve lost my mother and I’m scrolling on instagram, she was our breadwinner, I can start working from today as I need to earn to live. Father plans on clearing utilities for us, and we are going to earn so we can eat.
I can’t be ungrateful, my mother provided food for us, was responsible mother, taking care of her kids handling the household as my father earns as much he can. My elder brother studying medicine on scholarship, my younger sibling still in third grade. Your average family. I can hear bickering of neighbours and cousins rolling their eyes at my behaviour. Our youngest, Ahad is sitting in my lap laughing at funny reels. I guess he doesn’t understand yet and it is better this way.
Across my room, uncle is wiping off my father’s tears, I huffed out frustrated by the heat in this room. We don’t have air conditioner and it is hottest month of the year, I want to take off the dupatta but I have cousins in this room and I’m seventeen as of today. Weird, how my mother passed away on my birthday, as if I care about birthday. Death is the only thing running on my mind lately but when my eyes meet Ahad, I know I have to live. It’s a promise to my mother, I’ll raise him.
My mother died before my eyes but I don’t feel anything, I just she was alive so we could one day go to top of the mountain.
“We’re leaving, take care of yourself and your family, you’re the only woman in family now. Be strong”. I nod as Aunty zubia strokes my head gently. As if, I don’t know. To this family I’m a woman now but they don’t know I was strong girl before my mamma died. She said me I need to look after everything because she has been tired, working overtime took a toll on her, so she taught me to cook basic stuff, do laundry of our family, take care of meals of my brother because he needs to attend special classes, I knew before I turned ten. Her reason of death was overworking.
I shut the door and tie my hair in ponytail, I prepare a light meal for ahad and simple meal for father. Ayan, my brother who studies medicine is not here, his university is in other city. He couldn’t come because he had exams, he is going to visit after a week. I don’t why he needs to come, everything is done already. What’s ther left for him here? But who am I to tell him?
