I Didn't Know
I didn't know
How much I would miss
The sight of His car
Parked everyday
In the same spot
In a lot.
I didn't know
That every game
Of Minesweeper
Would remind me
Of the one who
Taught me to play.
I didn't know
That reading
My favorite book
Which was a gift from Him
Would one day hurt so much.
I didn't know
That he would never
Get to watch me follow
His advice for what I
Should do with my life.
I didn't know
How much my graduation
Photos would make me choke
Up because he drove nine hours,
Round trip, just to be there.
I didn't know
That staring at my writing
Tracking statistics
Would remind me so much
Of how interested he was in it.
I didn't know
That I'll never again
Be able to enjoy a circus
Because he took me to one,
Just once.
I didn't know
That my playing the piano
Would bring up past memories
Of him attending all my recitals.
I didn't know
That eating at Olive Garden
Would become a chore,
Because we once shared
A meal there.
I didn't know
That singing along
With the radio,
A habit we had shared,
Would make me cry
Every time I did it.
I didn't know
It would hurt this much
To lose a brother
I barely knew.
