Chapter 1
Alex and Pete, two gym bros, panting and exhausted, exited the U-fit gym and madeheir way through the parking lot to Alex’s 2014, maroon Honda Civic Sedan.
“Bro I hate these leg days,” said Alex.
“Dude I know but like we can’t have chicken legs,” said Pete.
“Ya but do we have to do lunges and squats though? Like I think leg press still gets the job done,” said Alex.
“Aight fine I’ll take them out for now and we can have a break for a bit,” said Pete.
As they neared Alex’s car, furiously sizzling sparks, jolted and crackled through their entire beings and in less than half a blink, they smacked onto the pavement as if gravity tripled. They groaned and rolled on their backs to hyperventilate. The two slowly got their torsos upright and sat there. They looked at each other for a moment from a few feet away before Pete explosively hurled while Alex turned away and heaved vomit. When they got everything out of their systems, they tried to stand but ended up swaying and walking drunkenly.
“Duuude, what in the fuck,” said Pete still breathing heavy.
“See bro, we’ve been hitting them too hard,” said Alex.
“Definitely not the workout,” Pete said with crooked grin.
“Then what?... Pete? Peter!?”
“Fuck if I know man. I mean just look around and tell me something isn’t off,” said Pete. Alex looked up and around.
“Yooo wait, huuuh? Bro the sky is all green,” he said.
“I know but like I feel weird, like I don’t know how to explain it, my body, your body too, is all red and burns like a motherfucker but like, I still feel chills dude,” said Pete.
They turned around to the gym and saw that the U-fit was now Ronny’s Lift House.
“No wayyy, did they drug the water or some shit?” said Alex.
Pete shrugged with his eyes still dazed. They hesitated before walking forward, still fighting the nausea.
“Bro I swear, if my car is gone…” said Alex.
“Dude chill, let’s just check it out first,” said Pete.
“Bro I was literally parked like right there,” said Alex.
“Well I mean we’d be able to find it. I mean there’s hardly any cars around,” said Pete.
“No… this was the spot. Wait, what kind of car even is this!?”
“Oh shit, what the hell is an AXCwoH?” Said Pete.
The black, exotic sports car was sleek and large with a premium metallic gloss coating and red racing stripes. Its windows were tinted black and the side windows connected to form one.
“Dude I’ve never seen this brand in my life,” said Alex.
“Yo, I know how this sounds, but, just try it…”
“No dude—” Pete shot Alex an impatient look.
“Aight fuck it, we’re in a weird spot anyways and I guess we just gotta go with it.”
Alex took a deep breath, slid the key port cover, and held out his keys only to find that the port was two protruding metal bumps.
“OH MY, where’s my fucking car!” exclaimed Alex while gripping his hair.
“Bro I know, like whose car even is this? Shit looks like it was imported from Dubai,” said Pete.
“Yah whatever bro, screw this. For a second I was like, ’you know what, maybe everything is altered, and we have no idea about anything, but hey, at least I get to drive this sick car now,’” said Alex.
“I mean yeah, it is a sick car. It’s like a Tesla Roadster and a Lambo had a baby,” said Pete.
Alex sighed.
“I know, I know. Alright, let’s just ask around and see what we can do,” he said.
As they headed to the gym, they started slowing down to a trudge as the color withdrew from their cheeks and their energy dissipated out. An uncomfortable prickling came over them, as if their bodies were struggling to hold every cell intact. Pete then noticed a dark, handheld object on the ground.
“Yo hold up, check this out.”
Alex looked over with growing perplexity, nodding with intrigue.
“It doesn’t look like something you’d just find on the ground right?” asked Pete.
Alex crouched.
“Yeah no you’re right, it kind of looks like one of those big vape mods.”
Both their faces lit up.
“Yooooo!” they said.
“Oh my God we’re saved. And I was just thinking about ripping my Juul too,” said Alex.
“Dude that’s because this might actually be it. Look, I’ve been trying to make sense of everything, and everything is kinda the same, but just a different version,” said Pete.
“You know, out of all the bullshit that’s happened, that almost sounds legit,” said Alex.
Alex picked it up and while observing, said, “I don’t know man, we really don’t know 100%. This could just be something that looks like a vape and we don’t even know this place anymore or what’s in it.”
“Yah but look at it, how is that not a vape? It’s got the straw thing for your mouth, and it’s literally built like a mod,” said Pete.
“Yeah, but I can’t even read the words on the screen. This isn’t even English,” said Alex.
“So what, maybe some foreign dude was visiting and dropped it? Maybe it’s the way English is written here, I don’t know. Look dude, I need nic and honestly bro, this situation calls for not giving a single fuck because what else are we going to do? Like if this place was toxic for us, we’ll probably die anyways.”
Alex nodded with a grin and dapped him up.
“Aight but if it’s actually my Juul then I’m hitting it first.”
They stood up and Alex took a small hit with an undecided look followed by a raised eyebrow. Pete looked waitingly at Alex and said “And? How is it?” Alex held his finger up and took a deep drag blowing out yellow vapor.
“This is like nicotine on steroids, wow.”
Alex’s eyes settled as if they were seated on a cushion. The color in his face came back in a flush of red.
“Yoo Pete, hit this bro, you’ll feel like a human again.”
Pete inhaled for several seconds and said “Duuude, it’s like all this weight just launched off my shoulders.
As they neared the entrance, they saw people inside by the window.
“Yoo, hellooo, can you guys open up please?” said Pete. The workers looked at them sideways until one of the employees with a ponytail and pink scrunchie opened the door.
“Yo are you guys closed?” said Pete.
“Umm hi, we open a bit later on Fridays, but are you guys okay? Some of my co-workers said they saw you throwing up over there.”
“Yo what happened to the U-fit!?” asked Pete.
“Uh, what?” Kate looked back at her coworkers with concern.
“Ay never mind, we were just walking and ate shit and…yo please don’t tell me you don’t notice it. The sky is literally green,” said Alex while subtly motioning to Pete tone it down.
“Mhmm. Look, if you guys are on something, you should go because I really don’t want any problems, and it is way too early for this.”
“No, we swear, look we’ll calm d—wait early!? It’s like five pm,” said Alex.
Kate sighed, “More like nine, oh my God look, maybe you two need to leave.”
As Kate was closing the door, Pete, wide eyed, said “No no, wait wait, please!”
Kate paused.
“I swear we have not taken anything, we just got really sick out of nowhere and the next thing we know we’re on the ground and don’t know what’s going on and we just need to talk to someone… honest,” said Pete.
Kate sighed again but friendlier this time and said, “Okay maybe you hit your heads or something. Do you have someone you can call or do need me to get some help?”
Alex and Pete pulled out their phones to see their screens cracked and the colors blended. They tried unlocking them, but started glitching until the screens went black.
“Yeaaa, our phones don’t work,” said Alex.
“Okay well I can call a Scoop for you,” said Kate letting the door close. Alex and Pete exchanged looks.
They knocked on the door and some of the workers rolled their eyes, as Kate let them in.
“Alright you guys can come in but please just sit right there.”
“Thanks Kate,” said Pete looking at her name tag.
“Now if you’ll allow us to explain,” said Alex.
The two gave her the rundown on what happened and their theories.
“Okay so, like a parallel universe or something?” asked Kate.
Alex and Pete briefly looked at each other bewildered.
“Yah I’m not even going to think about that right now,” said Alex.
“You said this place was a different gym, the sky was blue, it was evening and your car, in the same spot was different. If all that’s true, then that’s what I would think,” she said.
Pete looked over at Alex.
“Nope, Pete do not say what I know you’re going to say.”
“Holy shit that’s gotta be it!” exclaimed Pete while getting looks from the other workers nearby. Kate interrupted, “Actuallyy, never mind you’re definitely just on drugs.”
“No hold on, Alex, show her the vape.”
Alex deadpanned into the distance and handed over the vape.
“See, back in our world—”
Alex put his hand over his face and muttered, “Back in our world he says.”
“Yes, back there this was a called a Juul and now it’s ah…um, this ’XHILV.’”
Kate starred blanky and said “Okay?... What, I’ve never seen that before.”
“Soo, you don’t have vapes here?” said Pete.
“No we do but I’ve never seen that one,” said Kate.
“Okay but do these words still make sense to you?” said Pete.
“What, like English? Uh no,” said Kate.
“Hm probably a Juul from a different country then,” said Pete.
“Look guys, I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m literally at work and so what are we doing here?”
“Wait where is the Scoop taking us?” said Alex.
“The hospital.” said Kate.
“Wait! We’ll find proof. Uhh… Our IDs!” said Alex as the two searched their wallets and handed her their IDs.
“Oh my God, look I’m so sorry, like I actually believe that you guys don’t know what’s going on and I feel really bad. But like, this isn’t a real country,” said Kate.
Alex and Pete blinked slowly with exhausted expressions before sinking back into their chairs. Kate looked at them with a pouting concern and said, “Oh come on now, how can I not think it’s a joke when “The United States of America” sounds like its ripping off “The United Colonies of America. I mean what the hell is Florida?”
The two jolted for a second before deflating and slouching back into their chairs.
Pete said, “Wait so do you believe us, even a little.”
“I mean I want to but… well yeah see this just doesn’t look real to me.
Pete took his ID back defeatedly giving her big puppy eyes.
“Kate you gotta understand, we have no one or nowhere else to turn to. We are so utterly screwed without you. We literally have nothing. Like you can afford to take off work for a couple hours this one time and help out some people who absolutely need you,” said Alex.
Pete took a rip from the vape.
“Uh excuse you,” she said.
She turned to Alex. “Okay but think about my perspective and my safety regarding two people who could have lost their minds.”
“Fine, FINE, Pete let’s just think of plan B,” said Alex.
Kate paused for a minute looking sorry at them.
“Well, now that I’m thinking about it, if these were fake why would you use a place that doesn’t exist? That wouldn’t get you anywhere?”
The two lit up like Christmas trees.
“Alex, is your hair dyed?” asked Kate.
“What? No, no my hair is not dyed? Why?” he said.
“You seriously need me to explain that—”
“YES, yes you do,” said Alex.
Kate continued “Umm okay, as I was saying, it’s just mind blowing that I even have to explain that people with blue eyes have blue hair.”
“Huh?! Aight whatever, no, my hair is not dyed, and you’d definitely be able to check the roots.”
“I know,” said Kate.
“Soooo… you do believe us?” said Pete.
The manager, a short plump man, walked over.
“Is everything okay over here,” said the manager.
“These two need my help. I have to take them to the hospital.”
“Well Kate, I would think--”
“We’re overstaffed today anyways,” she said.
“D’uhhh okay,” said the manager.
“Okay. We’re going, but you two are staying in the back.”
As they walked out Kate muttered under her breath.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m actually letting them in my car.”
They three got in.
“Okay so what’s the plan?”
Kate stared off for a minute.
“I think I can find a guy,” she said.
The two bros shrugged their shoulders as Kate reversed and whipped her car out of there.
