Angel's Way

Part I: Darling Truths

Prologue:

My head spun as I opened my eyes and watched the slimy cave ceiling. I hissed as I tried to sit up, my skin felt too hot against the damp cave. Images that were too blurry to see, flashed in my mind.

Breathe. I grounded myself, feeling the cold hardness of the floor.

“Hello?” The echo of my hoarse voice was the only response. I ground my teeth as I braced myself against the cave wall to stand up,

Bad idea. The feeling of a searing iron ripped across my entire back and I choked out a sob. My body felt too heavy as I rocked to stand on my feet.

I clutched at my chest, something was very wrong, “Oh..”

I braced myself against the stony wall and forced myself to walk. I refuse to be a sitting duck. I stumbled out of the shallow cave and into a thicket of trees.

Where was I? Who was I?

Images flashed in my mind: a windy cliff, a crystal palace, a lilac flower, the sloshing sound of the ocean, Ball Gowns, blood, knives, and lavender.

“Aerathia.” I croaked as my knees hit the muddy ground. As if I spoke my old memories into existence, images flooded my mind. I turned to the shadowed figure that watched my suffering.

“Help me…” I croaked as a deafening singing chorus filled my head.

“Trees can’t respond to you.” His voice was a cooling cream on a hot rash.

The images stopped and I made out the wooden stature of a tree. I should be embarrassed but I was too tired to feel anything.

I turned my head to look for the owner of the soothing voice, only to be met with more trees.

Blood leaked from the side of my neck and down the black tank top that clung to my body. Two dangling sleeves of a black jumpsuit hung around my waist. What was I wearing?

Laughter filled my head and I closed my eyes.

When I opened them I was standing in a field of wheat. The golden light warmed my body. The white cotton dress clung to my thighs as I ran through the narrow pathway that separated the wheat.

“Loser!” A voice called out to me.

I grinned as the man ran just a few feet ahead. I dug my bare feet into the warm soil before I lunged at the guy.

With an ‘oomph,’ we collided and fell onto the soft ground. My body is cushioned by his own. Rather than get up I laid my hands on his chest and grinned at him.

“Cheater.” He grumbled a giant smile filled his face.

“All is fair in love and war.” I countered and arched a brow before I widened my eyes. I did not just say that.

“Angel.” He brushed a loose strand of my black hair out of my face.

Images of his lifeless body filled my mind.

No, no, no. My eyes watered. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t here. I wasn’t here. This was a memory from long ago.

“Angel.” His voice softened and tears filled my eyes.

I stood up and turned my back to him. I couldn’t let him see my cry. I had to be strong.

“Angel.” He grabbed onto my hand, sending a rush of heat through my body. I sighed and wiped my tears before I turned to him.

But I was alone again in the darkened forest. I laughed as I curled into a ball. My body shook, my tears and blood mixing into the damp soil. Or perhaps the soil was dampened by my blood and tears.

Who am I? The question rattled in my head.

Who was that man? I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to see his face. My head rang and the world began to spin. Without my consent, a toe-curling scream left my body.

Vomit spilled out of my mouth and my body shook against the breeze.

This world was a terrible place, he was dead and I was alive. It would always be my fault. I stared at my hands, there should be blood on it. His blood, their blood, everyone’s blood.

I was a killer. A monster. I didn’t deserve to live. I began to hum a song, what were the lyrics?

It was a death song. I used to sing it every time I killed for her. Who was she? Who was I?

“Miss?” A hand touched my body and I flinched. My body felt raw and bruised. I turned to look at the man and frowned.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he slid his hand to my forehead. I shivered at the corpse-like feel of his hand. Was he a corpse too? Did I kill him too?

“Leave me,” I whispered and continued to hum the death song.

“She’s bleeding.” The man said, “A lot. Call an ambulance.”

Was there someone else there? Who cares? I wish they’d leave me to my misery.

“What is your name?” The man insisted and I looked up at him.

Do I have a name? Why? I am disgusting, I didn’t deserve one.

“Can you hear me?” Worry was etched on his face. But I was too tired to care.

I looked at my hands because of them, they had called me Angel. They had called him something too. A piercing sound filled my mind and I screamed.

“Make it stop. Make it stop!” I begged and began to writhe against the ground.

The world once again fell into darkness as I closed my eyes. When I opened them I was standing in a golden-blazed field.

I grinned and turned to the man whose face was covered in shadows.

“Angel, I need you to promise me something.” I frowned. That’s not how this memory went.

“No, you can’t be” The words were caught in my throat. Dead. He couldn’t be.

“I’ll be okay.” He promised me and I stifled a cry. I will not cry. I will not-

A tear broke free and ran down my cheek. His hand brushed away the tears and I leaned into his touch. I tried to memorize the feel of his calloused hand on my face.

“No, no, no.” I shook my head. It should have been me. It was my fault.

“It’s not your fault.” I squinted. The damned sun, I couldn’t see his face.

“Yes, it is,” I argued.

“I’ll be okay.” He said, “Promise me you’ll be okay. That you will move on. Don’t let me tie you down.”

He pulled me to his chest. I could hear the strong rhythm of his heartbeat, and my heart ached knowing it would never beat like this again. I clung to him tightly as I tried to memorize everything about him. If only I could remember his name.

“I can’t leave until you promise me.” He brushed his lips against the top of my head. If it meant he would never leave, I would never make that promise.

But I couldn’t be the thing that tied him here. Not when I would wake up and he would be stuck on the bridge between life and death alone. I looked up at his shadowed face and kissed him, one last time. His arm snaked around my waist and the other slid into my hair. He tasted like those silly honey bars he always enjoyed. He pulled away all too quickly and stared down at me.

“Promise me.” He said again.

I clenched my jaw. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I didn’t want to say it but I had to, for his sake.

“I promise,” I whispered and watched him fade into the sunlight. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the sun fade away too. I was alone again.