1
If everything is blurred, you still have to walk straight
I woke up again in the middle of the night. Why can't these nightmares stop already.. it's been months. Tony says that I should seek some help.. again, but what would they do.. asks me tell them a story of my abduction and then what, writes me some medication. Like I haven't seen anyone already. Dr Divana. Doctor, who just disappeared, leaving me with my thoughts and memories.
I get up from queen bed and go couple stairs down to the kitchen, maybe fresh cold water will help. As I get down, I see some silhouette, corner of my eye, then I turn my head and see older man in my living room, talking with Tony.
"Tony, what's going on? It's two in the morning! Don't tell me you just got home!?" I'm freaking out.
Tony gets up from the couch, comes to me and hugs me little tight. Then looks me dead in the eyes and says:" Please don't freak out, but you need to listen to me really carefully."
Now I'm really freaking out. Firstly there is a stranger in our living room. Secondly it's two in the morning and I just had another nightmare. This night just can't go normally for once.
He hasn't been himself lately. Going out whenever he wants, coming home whenever he wants. He is just seventeen. Lately I have a feeling, he is doing something shady. Something really shady.
I look Tony and then I look the stranger little longer and back to Tony. He sees my hesitation.
The guy seems familiar. I think I have seen him with Tony somewhere. If the gossip is true, then he is a another seller or supplier. I try not to think about the activities my brother is involved, but it is too late. My mind has its her own way and a thousand thoughts going through. Drugs.
Finally I open my mouth, but no words are coming out. Then I start to feel another panic attack. I can't hear nothing, my head pounds and my heart tries to get out of my own body. My hands tremble and my legs try to give out, but Tony catches me. I try to understand what he says, but I can't hear anything. I only see him moving his lips, but that's it. The stranger is leaving for a second, but then comes back again with glass of water. I try to drink, but I can't, my hands tremble too much and the glass of water falls to the ground. Now I can't breath. And then I close my eyes and that's it. I hear little voices, murmuring. Little whispers dancing in my mind.
Like I would lose my mind.
Tony puts me on the couch. Says something to the stranger. I hear steps leaving and then coming back. He puts a wet towel on my head. He kneels on my right side. I hear him leaving, but not far.
Whispers. Far away of my mind, but I understand some of it.
".. take this and don't come back. You should not see this!" Tony whispers.
"Thanks man. I owe you. But what's wrong with her? Is she your girlfriend or a fuckbuddy?" Manly voice whispers back.
"This is not any of your concern. And she is my sister. But, don't worry. She will be fine, when I am done with her, she will be back in shape." Tony whispers back.
"Whatever dude, your sister. Do what ever you want with her, but if cops are coming, then I point my fingers towards to you." Stranger whispers back.
I feel better after I mostly hear them. I get up. Everything is dizzy. My mind is the worst. I stand up. See two foggy silhouettes. I walk. I feel like I am drunk. I stumble. Tony catches me again and then I pass out.
I feel like I am floating. On the clouds. Really soft clouds. And then comes the thunder of past. Lightning flashes around me. Then comes the chains. Ripping my flesh open. I scream. Crucial scream coming from my throat. Pictures of past floating in my mind. Spiders coming towards to me. First just two and then hundreds of tarantulas. I feel their hairy legs walking over me. Biting. I scream more and more. And then snakes slithering towards to me. Different patterns on their back. Hissing at me. Two have already got me in their grip. They are squeezing me. I feel all the air leaving from my lungs. Almost the end and then everything is gone. No spiders, no snakes. Just darkness, nothing more. I feel like this is the end.
