HATE / LOVE

“Seriously, Mom? Seriously?” I slammed my Calculus textbook shut, the sharp, definitive sound echoing in my otherwise silent room. The silence was a carefully constructed fortress, a fragile barrier I erected every day to keep the chaos of the outside world at bay. But I knew, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, that it was temporary.

Soon, very soon, it would be shattered by the relentless sounds of wedding planning, dress fittings that would inevitably involve pastel monstrosities, and nauseatingly sweet vows that would probably make me gag. My mom, blissfully unaware of the internal nuclear meltdown brewing inside me, beamed at me from the doorway, her face flushed with a happiness that felt, frankly, like a personal insult.

“Maya, don’t be like that. This is a wonderful thing! Richard is a wonderful man.” Her voice was practically dripping with honey, the saccharine sweetness turning my stomach.

“He’s Mr. Carter. And he’s Liam Carter’s dad.” I practically spat the words out, each syllable laced with a venom I couldn’t quite control. Liam. Just the name tasted like bile in my mouth. The bane of my existence, the reason I avoided the west wing of East High like the plague. Just thinking about his infuriatingly cocky grin made my fists clench.

“Liam’s a good kid, Maya. He’s just... misunderstood.” My mom said, her brow furrowing slightly, as if trying to convince herself as much as me.

“Misunderstood? He glued my pants to my chair in seventh grade! He put gum in my hair freshman yearI had to cut it to my chin! He called me ‘Bookworm Betty’ for six months straight! He--” I cut myself off, memories flooding back of the countless humiliations Liam had inflicted upon me over the years. The constant jabs, the cruel nicknames, the feeling of being perpetually singled out and ridiculed.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I need an RSVP.” She pushed it towards me, as if it were a peace offering.

I stared at the invitation. Mr. Richard Carter and Ms. Susan Hayes request the pleasure of your company... followed by a date that loomed like a dark cloud over my summer, a day marked for the official end of my sanity. It was almost laughable, the way my life was morphing into a bad rom-com. Except, instead of a meet-cute, I got a meet-hate, and instead of a charming prince, I got... Liam Carter. It was more of a horror story than a romance.

“My answer is no.” I said, crossing my arms, defiance hardening my voice. “Absolutely, unequivocally no.”

“Maya, please, just try to be open to it?” Her voice was pleading, softening the edges of her usual firmness. I hated it when she did that. It made me feel guilty, which was exactly what she was going for.

I refused to speak to her. All I could do was stare off into space. I fixated my eyes on a scratch in the side of my dresser. Taking the hint, my mother sighed, leaving the invitation on my bed beside me and walked out of the room.

The silence returned, thick and suffocating. I flipped open my textbook, but the formulas swam before my eyes, blurring into meaningless symbols. All I could see was Liam Carter’s smug face. Two weeks. I had two weeks to brace myself for the inevitable.

“Seriously, Mom? Seriously?” I muttered again, this time to the empty room.

A few hours later, a hesitant knock broke through my self-imposed solitude. I groaned inwardly. Here we go again.

“Come in,” I said, my voice flat.

My mom peeked her head in, a forced smile plastered on her face. “I just wanted to... follow up on that RSVP.”

“It’s still no,” I said, not bothering to look up. “Unless you’ve suddenly developed amnesia and forgotten the entire history of Liam Carter’s reign of terror.”

“Maya,” she sighed, stepping fully into the room. “You’re exaggerating. It wasn’t a reign of terror. It was... high school. Boys can be silly.”

“Silly? He filled my locker with live crickets! I had to get a tetanus shot because I was so freaked out I fell into the bushes trying to escape!” I slammed my textbook shut again, the sound echoing my frustration.

“Okay, the crickets were a bit much, I admit. But he was probably just trying to get your attention!” My mom’s voice took on that familiar, annoyingly optimistic tone.

“Oh, he got my attention alright. He got the attention of the entire school when I walked around covered in cricket bites for a week! Is that what you want for me at the wedding, Mom? Public humiliation courtesy of Liam Carter?”

“He wouldn’t do that, Maya! He’s... changed.” She wrung her hands, her brow furrowed.

“Changed? Into what? A slightly less obnoxious version of his former self? A reformed cricket-releasing king? What, did he have some kind of epiphany this summer? I doubt it.” I scoffed, picking at a loose thread on my jeans.

“Look, I’m not saying he was perfect in high school. But Richard has told me he’s a good son. He’s thoughtful, he helps around the house...”

“Oh, so he’s domestic now?” I rolled my eyes. “That has nothing to do with the fact that he made my life a living hell for over four years. You want me to celebrate your happiness with a man whose son actively contributed to my misery? That’s a little much to ask.”

My mom’s expression hardened slightly. “It’s not about Liam, Maya. It’s about me. About Richard. You’re being deliberately difficult, and frankly, it’s hurtful. This is important to me. Can you just... put your personal feelings aside for one day?”

The guilt, as expected, hit me like a punch to the gut. She knew how to play me so well. “It’s not that simple, Mom. You know how he made me feel. You saw it.”

“I know,” she said, softening again. “And I’m sorry. But you overcame it. You excelled despite him. Don’t let him continue to have this hold on you.”

“It’s not about him ‘having a hold on me’,” I shot back, my voice rising again. “It’s about principle! Why is it always me who has to ‘be the bigger person’? Why can’t he be the bigger person and actually apologize for being a jerk?”

“Maybe he will,” she offered, a sliver of hope in her voice.

“Oh, right,” I snorted. “And maybe pigs will fly. You know what? Fine. I’ll be there. I’ll paste a smile on my face, and I’ll pretend everything is fine, just like you want. But don’t expect me to enjoy it. And don’t expect me to ever forgive Liam Carter for anything.”

I turned back to my textbook, effectively ending the conversation. I could feel my mom’s gaze on me for a moment longer before she quietly retreated, leaving me alone with my calculus and a simmering rage that no amount of algebraic manipulation could solve. The wedding was coming, and with it, the certainty that my meticulously constructed world was about to crumble.