New Islam

My name is Qasim Arrad, and I talk and think closely about the world around me. Why did I get this purple smoke sword? Who knows, other than a weird reading from Allah that makes absolutely zero sense? I enjoy golf and chess. These two games require a massive amount of intellect to master.

Today, we were going to the movies to see a new film called The Wild Kids. The movie is about five teenagers who go out to fight crime even though they have no police license. Abeer Sindir, my arranged wife, at she’s supposed to be. I admitted to being attracted to a man when I was 13 and got assigned a girlfriend. This movie had a romance plot I can tell because Abeer is watching it.

We sit together as she tries to put her hand on my arm; “Can you be any hotter?” She didn’t like me at first either. But now she obsesses over me. She’s a weird ass bitch who has no clue what I like or don’t like. As I watched the movie, I saw a scene where the teenagers left the door open. If they didn’t leave the door open, their parents probably wouldn’t have suspected their absence. Geez, if I were them, I’d be thinking of every move.

I left to go to the bathroom to pick something out of my teeth. I was a two-star. Most people my age are three stars, but my sexuality held me back. Two-stars fight two-star-level monsters, and I hope to one day develop from that. I’m not developing for the sake of pride but to help the misfortune in the world.

I saw a weird plant growing out from the side of the mirror. Then I went to investigate it no flowers, only two leaves which isn’t a bad sign. The only thing I could determine in this situation is that the plants are being grown purposefully. I learned about plants from Steve Konupple’s book, “The Mysteries of Plants” Yes, I’m into reading stupid books like that.

Then I began walking back to the movie. I saw a little greenery growing on the entrance to the theater. This left me kind of perplexed. I can’t lie to you. Why is everything green? Maybe I’m losing it, maybe I need to figure this out. Then I go back inside the theater, as the camera glared at me. “Hey honey, is something up? The theatergoers’ anger at my standing prompted me to sit. “Something is growing outside, did; they have greenery before we came in here?” I whispered to Abeer. “Step outside and let’s discuss this together.” Abeer pulls my arm and takes us outside the theater. Where was this confident girl I knew from High School?

“Woah! You aren’t crazy! That’s green above the entrance!” She squeezes my arm and shakes slightly. What an annoying girl, she’s so lovey dovey. I didn’t ask for any of this shit. We need to figure this out! I wandered the theater aimlessly, glancing at movie posters and the ticket entrance.

Then I saw nothing except I heard something... I tried to make it out but only made out words like. Para... Para... Then silence. Then Abeer and I went back to the theater door and saw more vines surrounding the door. I tried pushing it open, but the vines kept keeping the door shut. “Everyone! Help! Youll be stuck in this movie theater if you don’t!”

Suddenly, something comes from around the corner. “Hi. Do you want Paradise?” It felt like something was towering over me, like a skyscraper. “What do you mean, paradise? That’s an impossible foot in the normal world?” “Oh, you don’t even know my capabilities. I can give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” Something about this guy is off and I know exactly what it is.

He’s a con man, anyone; who purposes Paradise to others is only trying to manipulate you into a weird cause. This is a cult type person and I can prove it. “What do you got, tall guy? What do you purpose? How can we put faith in a guy like that? He’s definitely playing games with us. Abeer, don’t listen to him! He clearly does not have good intent.”

I’ll give you so much money! As long as you promote my holy brand!” What a weirdo, he is trying to prompt us to buy this brand. What does that mean? “Money is money, Qasim! Imagine the romantic things you could do with that!” Another guy suddenly tries to come out the door and the vines stop him. “Get off the door!”

“I’m not on the door! The vines are stopping you from opening it! Trust me, please! I shouted to get my point across. Neither Abeer nor I could see this strange Paradise Man. Blackness completely covered his face. All right! I’m calling the police! You better stop being weird as fuck!” Then the hooded guy started running towards the entrance of the movie theater and I ran after him.

I pull out my gray sword and protect the entrance to the theater. Gray smoke emanating from my sword’s tip. “Oh, smoke can’t interrupt Paradise! You’ll never get Paradise if you keep acting like a brat!” “What makes you think I care!” The sword not only creates smoke but makes someone’s eyes blurry. The smoke suddenly made him rub his eyes profusely. “Where the hell are you?” Abeer gets her pink sword out and slashes the hair, thus creating thousands of hearts. “My favorite move. Love Struck!” All sudden the towering guy began moving at a snail’s pace as he hit the hearts. The hearts make you think all your crushes are in the room. Therefore, you will slow down to check them out. “Now! Who are you? Grass man!” He reveals himself under the robe as he has a circular face with a white beard. “I’m Jehovah!”