Interesting, but needs some work

"Hello! The idea is actually interesting. I didn't expect the main character to be so twisted. I bet some people would cringe while reading this story (just like me). The only thing bothering me is the bad formatting. You should use capital letters and add some space for new paragraphs. It's kind of hard to read for me and I got lost several times when I looked away. Well, I'm going to try reading your other short stories, too. I hope you can fix this. Keep writing! Regards, Kei Angelus"