ARCANUS

Sometimes when I look back at time, I can’t believe so much has changed. Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but in the end everything is different? It’s not something I wonder about often. Except fleeting memories of happiness nothing comes from thinking about past memories. That’s what I’ve been taught in Nixar. Forget your pasts, good or bad. Think about the future because you are the future. 

When I was six years old, my parents dropped me here. “Don’t cry Loreal, we’re not going forever. It’ll be a short amount of time that you’ll barely remember it. Nixar is full of fun and innovation. You should be proud that you’re becoming a part of it. And don’t worry we’ll keep visiting you in between. One day, we will meet again. Indeed we will, sweetheart.”

That’s the last sentence I remember in the voice of my father. For three months, everyday, I waited for them. I would sit around the balcony and look at the entrance of the institution with a hope in my heart that they’ll appear if I keep looking. But in these fifteen years, not a single letter was delivered to me. Not once did they show their face to me. Soon I realized, I was not alone in this misery. None of the girls was visited by any of their parents. No letter was delivered to anyone. We were closed, disconnected from the outside world. The world beyond the giant gate, closing the vast expanse of Nixar, seemed like a mist. But that’s one way to think about it. Now that my mind is no longer consumed by fantastic hopes, I can see clearly what this place was all about. Maybe now that I know how the outside world is like, I know longer mourn any of my loss. Maybe it was not even a loss worth mourning. But I dare not say, I didn’t fall for the snow capped high mountains and the enchanting valleys when I first got the permit to step out of Nixar. At first i thought i slipped into one of my rare dreams when i first gazed at breathtaking scenery.It was after a year of my arrival at Nixar.As the days progressed, everyone including me, forgot the dreary and gloomy memories of our past. The place had a magic of some sort that eradicated every intense emotion associated with our previous dwellings and relations. Noone talked about their past or parents anymore. Our interest was captivated by the untraditional and interesting activities at Nixar. In no time at all the staff and authorities of that place were able to make us obedient and sharp individuals who were indebted and compelled to serve them and the land. Unknowingly, we consented to serve them and so they were able to form their own army who were the children of the killed soldiers. And so it became clear to me the day they declared their purpose for us that why did noone get any letters.

No one came for us because no one we knew lived any more.

The head of Nixar is madame lucinda, a sharp, witty, strategic and powerful commander. She is also my aunt. Maybe the only blood relation of mine left on earth. My mother was her assistant. My mother didn’t like the bloody work aunt did. She kept herself away from all the bloodshed. While her sister actively participated in physical wars, my mother didn’t even tolerate unbandaged scars. She was too sensitive for this stuff. But aunt loved her sister and wanted her to have an honorable status like her, so she hired her for the things she could do like managing schedules, arranging meetings, maintaining the budget and managing foreign affairs. My mother did her job great until she met my father. Aunt told me that my mother had never been more adamant on getting something until my father. Aunt wanted her younger sister to live with her but my mother wanted to marry and have her own family. When my aunt tried to persuade her that this wasn’t the right timing and that she doesn’t even know him properly, my mother turned rebellious and fled from her.

After my parents had me, a war broke out at the borders with our neighbor state. Since the army was inadequate in number, civilians were requested to protect their state. A vast number of people consented to participate. The government took responsibility for the children people had left behind and ensured their safety and well-being in return for the services of their parents. The war lasted for half a year but finally, Glyndorr had won it. A vast number of people died in that war along with my parents. Aunt Lucinda sought me out immediately. There was a glimpse of affection and my mother in her when I had first beheld her countenance. I Was expecting that maybe she’ll ask me to live with her now that I had no one but she restrained herself from whatever emotion could have overcome her. She hugged me and left. Since then, she’s appeared cruel to me. I wanted her to mother me but she wasn’t as i had expected. Whenever she visited Nixar, she didn’t even glance at me. After some time, I stopped caring. Maybe she resents me because of my mother. It makes sense.

It’s been so many years now. I’m nineteen now and in my last semester after which I shall be a physician. The studies at Nixar are very selective and usually assigned to us according to our aptitudes. I’m not faint hearted and surgery is something which is not difficult for me.

“Loreal! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for half an hour!” I heard Aurelie’s voice from a distance. I closed my notebook and faced her. “The view’s amazing from here and it helps in study.”

She widened her eyes in fear. “Loreal, do you realize how dangerous this place you’re sitting is?”

I looked down at the deep valley. “There’s a railing here and I’m sitting on a chair. Don’t worry I won’t fall.”

“The railing is only two feet. I’ll say that’s more dangerous.”

I rolled my eyes. She’s acrophobic so I didn’t argue. “What was it that made you look for me for so long?”

“Oh, yes! Madame Lucinda is here and-”

“And?”

“And she’s angry that you missed formation today.”

I raised my eyebrows and scoffed. “Does she even know my name? Besides, many students do miss formation everyday.

She looked confused. “Yeah. I too don’t understand. But whatever it is, you should come. She wants to meet you.”

Curiosity overcame my mind. I nodded and started walking with her. I don’t know what has stimulated her. I must not think of this meeting as easy. Aurelie stopped and beckoned to the headmaster’s office. I entered inside. I’ve never been inside this office before. In Fact no one has ever been quite often. I looked around. There was no one inside. The room had an eerie secluded aura like it had no connection with the beautiful landscapes outside. The big mahogany curtains covered the giant windows meant for beautifying the chamber but only made it look ominous. Dark wood furniture matched the gothic glow. Invisible phantoms moved around me and sent shivers in my body. Noone was here then why was I called here? The last thing I’ll choose is to wait. Just when I turned to leave, a silhouette of a man catched my eyes. Sharp, calculated steps showed his tread toward the desk chair. When he sat down, the ominous glow in the room casted a face in front of my eyes that reminded me of my three worst fears.

The dark onyx eyes reminded me of the secluded forest night.

The sharp cheekbones reminded me of the beauty of a blade and the sharp pain it inflicts.

The possessive and dominating confident smirk reminded me of the perfect, calculated and assured stance of a vile predator who’s ready to devour the unaware, incapable prey.

“Won’t you congratulate the new head of elite forces? At Least I deserve this much respect from you since I’d be here too often now.”

I closed my eyes as the voice of my nightmares pounded in my ears. Yet I tried to gain my balance. “Of course Damien. Congrats. Can’t wait to see your next move.” I said stoically. He thrived on my shock and I’d swear I saw a glimpse of the devil in him.

“It’s gonna be so much fun, Loreal.”

I looked up at him. Hatred radiated from within him. Or maybe that’s what I saw.

“I remember I was called by Madame Lucinda.”

He chuckled and that made me reconsider what I had heard. “Of course. Of course. I didn’t expect you’d be too quick to fall for the illusion,” he said in his husky voice and sat up from the chair and started walking towards me. He looked at me like an object of study.

I scrunch my eyebrows as something deep settled in slowly in my chest. “What do you mean?”

“You thought you’re getting promoted or something or maybe you thought you’re finally getting some validation for the altruist deeds of yours? Or maybe you thought that someone gave a shit about you missing the formation? Madame Lucinda in the foremost?” he bore his eyes into me.

Something pricked in my heart, not because he said it but because there was reality in his words.

There’s no use in arguing, especially when he needs a reason to target me. I looked at him without blinking and he seemed to love what I did. A small smile crinkled one corner of his lips. “But I have to say this, Loreal,” he inched closer to me and continued, “I terribly missed the frown of your face in the formation, when I was declared this position today.”

“I’d like to leave if you’re done.”

Something dark swirled in his eyes. “You may leave Loreal but our business is far from being done.”