Tears

All this anger was once love, this world fucking disgusts me. If I could display my feelings to my mother I wouldn't hesitate to do so. She makes things so hard, I tell her something and somehow she makes it seem like it was all my fault. I hate being the blame for everything. Am I to blame for my mother's anger? Am I to blame for my sister's hatred towards me? Of course I am! Who else would take the blame for me? Who else would take the thought of me being a burden towards everyone away? No one, no fucking body would do that and that is why I've decided to go meet my one love, my God. He is the one who truly loved me when things were tough, he is the one who listened to all my doubts and prayers. I don't think I belong in this world, I don't know where I belong, I just know I belong somewhere. I feel like I'm in an ongoing dream of disappointment and anger. Why cant I just be free? I want to feel loved for god's sake, I'm a 16 year old girl. Why shouldn't i be in this world? "You're not ready for what the world brings." My mother and step-dad always told me, they're right, that is why I don't accept what the world gives me. But I'm always asked, "who raised you?" or "why can't you change?" Maybe because I'm me, so, never ever again will I let anyone know the real me. Let everyone think I'm a simple girl with absolutely no problems in my life.

I feel such a temporary person In everyone's life, I'm allowed to blame myself for what I have become of myself.