Surprises
Hello!
My name is Mr. Tumble!, and I am a great wizard!
Some of my fellow magicians like Zelly and Whoosh! are super boring and plan out all of their spells, but I like to have surprises when it comes to my magic!
Some people argue that I don’t actually like surprises and that I just say that since I can’t ever do spells that I try to do correctly, but those people are mistaken!
I don’t want to try to do specific spells like those planners do!, I prefer to be surprised!
And so, while it’s true that I can’t ever do a particular spell that I plan out, since I don’t want to plan them out the joke’s not on me! The joke’s on all of those bores who plan out every spell!
Anyway, one day I was walking along with my magic wand in hand, and I suddenly saw the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper appear out of nowhere and begin hurling doughnuts at me!
I quickly! used my wand, and the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper turned into a carrot!
“What is this madness!?!” the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper said in surprise, “I didn’t mean to turn into a carrot just now!!!” and he continued to generate doughnuts naturally and hurl them at me while being a carrot!
“I did that!, you villain!” I cried out triumphantly!; though the doughnuts were now sticking me in place so that I couldn’t move.
“I can just shapeshift into another form though!” the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper said with a smirk; but then he didn’t shapeshift, and then he frowned and said, “Seriously? I’m stuck in carrot form now? This is not a very intimidating form to be trapped in… I need to figure out a way to get my shapeshifting abilities back! And it’s time for you to be rehabilitated!, you miscreant! Muahahahahahahaha!”
I then used my wand again (which I was able to do even though I couldn’t move), and the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper and I were suddenly on an island with some big eggs near us, and there was suddenly! a mighty “Rooooaaaaarrrrrr!!!!..." and the Dreaded Dougnnut Dropper and I were immediately gobbled up!
As we sat inside of the stomach of the mighty creature who had gobbled us up, the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper smirked and said, “Nice try!, miscreant!, but I’m indestructible and can use transport abilities of my own!” and he quickly transported us out of the stomach and then said, “I will say though that you getting me gobbled up by Rexy was an impressive feat! Nobody’s ever managed that one before!, but you’re still going to have to go through rehabilitation just like all of the other miscreants have to! Who knows, though; maybe I’ll make you an officer or a professor or something once you’re rehabilitated! You might make an impressive new addition to my rehabilitation team!” and then he took the doughnuts off of me, led me to a room, and locked me inside of it.
He was still a carrot the whole time, which seemed to displease him a bit, but he seemed confident that he’d be able to shapeshift out of his carrot form before long!
Now I was locked inside of a room, but I still had my magic wand! and so I could still shock him and his rehabilitation team with my mighty powers!
I waved my wand dramatically and did a random spell, and suddenly there was a minion and the Devil standing next to me!
“I’m free!!!” Satan shrieked!, “At last, I’m free!” and the minion said, “Congratulations, your evilness! It seems that this wizard transported us into this room with him and removed the doughnuts from us!”
“I did indeed!” I said cheerfully!, and then I waved my wand again and suddenly there was a cloud in the room with us that was raining on the 3 of us!
“Odd spell to do…” the Devil said in a confused tone of voice, “But, oh well, it’s time for Fryer and I to return to Hell! Muahahahahahahahaha!”
But then Satan seemed to be trying to transport but was unable to, and they said, “What’s going on, wizard!?! Stop your magic this instant and let me leave or else you will soon be experiencing PAIN like you’ve never experienced before in your miserable little life!”
Then the cloud said, “Oh, that was me. Anyone who gets rained on by me can’t use powers unless they wield a wand, and so you and your minion will need to obtain wands that are matched to your blood types if you want to use your powers. And, you both have different blood types from Mr. Tumble, and so stealing his wand won’t work.” and the cloud continued happily raining on us.
“No powers without wands, eh?” Satan said unhappily, “Can you magic some wands to Fryer and I, Mr. Tumble? You don’t want me to have to beat those wands out of you!!! Muahahahahahahaha!”
“My greatness is too powerful for that!, you see!” I said confidently, “For, I only do random spells!, and if I were to try to do a specific spell then it wouldn’t work! And that randomness is the key to my unparalleled awesomeness!”
“You think you’re extra powerful because you can’t choose what spells you do?” Fryer asked while scratching their head; and the Devil grinned malevolently and said, “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone who’s in so much denial! What a moron! Muahahahahahahahaha!”
“Am I a moron though?” I asked dismissively, “Let’s just look at today’s list of accomplishments! I turned the Dreaded Doughnut Dropper into a carrot, got him gobbled up by Rexy, freed Satan and a minion, and took away Satan and a minion’s ability to use powers without wands that match their blood types. How is that not an impressive list of accomplishments? Hmmmmm….”
“But it was all just by mistake!” Satan sputtered, “Which means that they’re just random idiocy, and not actually accomplishments at all!“
“Lol!” I said with a smirk, “Let’s see what another supposed non-accomplishment does!” and I waved my wand and suddenly there was a big pizza in the middle of the room!
“Still not an accomplishment!, stupid!, but I could go for some pizza right now…” Satan said; and they, Fryer, and I all began eating pizza.
Then the door unlocked and someone entered the room, but he took one look at Satan and shrieked in terror and locked the door again and ran off!!!
“You’d better run, Professor Bear!!!!” Satan raged as the man ran off, “Because the TORTURE that I’m going to inflict on you will be like nothing that you’ve ever experienced during your miserable cannibalistic existence!!!!”
Then the running man turned around, went to the locked door, and said, “I’m not a cannibal! I always fully digest the humans I eat while still in my bear form!, and so my human form never digests any humans! Stop your slander, you miserable Devil, you!”
“You seriously expect me to believe that you never transform out of your bear form until full digestion has happened!” the Devil crowed, “Nobody believes that bulls***, and you’ve probably already got cannibal diseases rotting your already unimpressive brain!”
“Says the Devil!” Professor Bear scoffed, “I’m a Professor, and you’re a Satan; and so I think that we all know who’s smarter!”
“Don’t you get demoted regularly for gobbling up your students though?” Fryer asked dismissively; and Bear said, “Sure, but I always get reinstated again!” and then he ran off as Satan and Fryer continued to hurl insults at him!
“You two are pretty hard on that poor professor!” I said as I took another bite of pizza, “Though it’s probably true that he doesn’t always digest people fully while still in his bear form. He just doesn’t seem the patient or self-controlled to me.”
“Ha!” Satan jeered, “The magician who can’t control what spells he does is talking about self-control now!?! Maybe you should be a full-time comedian instead of a wizard, because you might actually be good at that!”
“You can’t provoke me into anger with your insults, because they don’t actually ring true.” I said with a shrug, “I mean, we’ve already been through today’s list of accomplishments, and now I’m going to accomplish a new thing!” and I waved my wand and suddenly! there was an angel in the room with us!
“Satan and Fryer!?!” the angel said, “We were wondering where you were!” and then they transported away and then transported back to us with a host of Heavenly creatures!
“They can’t to magic right now unless they get wands that are matched to their blood types!” I cried out helpfully; and one of the angels said, “Nice! This will make our job easier! Time for this Devil and minion to face some reasonable and fair consequences for their evil deeds!”
“You imbecile of a wizard!!!” Satan snarled as some angels grabbed them and Fryer, “You’re still a failure! Not great at all! And I will find you someday and TORMENT you! Muahahahahahahaha!!!!” and then the host of Heavenly creatures transported out of the room with Satan and Fryer, and so it was just me, the cloud, and the pizza in the room.
“Want some pizza?” I happily asked the cloud as I picked up another slice and began eating it; and the cloud said, “Thanks! I’d love some!” and so the cloud and I contentedly munched on pizza together as I basked in the glory of all of the monumental accomplishments that I’d achieved so far today and wondered what wondrous achievements I would perform next!…
