Chapter 1 - Millie
POV: Millie
The promised blue ribbon was taped to the unfamiliar mailbox.
I’d slowed my car to check for it. It’d been the first time it’d stopped driving in the last three hours.
My body ached, I needed to pee, and my eyes were burning since I left at three in the morning, but I hadn’t stopped.
It was the first real breath I’d taken since grabbing our emergency bag I stashed two weeks before in the bushes and ran.
The blue ribbon was a symbol for abuse survivors. I’d found out about it when I contacted Safe Haven, begging them to help me.
I was their job. They helped women and children out of abusive relationships.
I’d never wanted to be a statistic, but there I sat, twenty-seven years old, one in four women who have been through hell.
I tightened my clammy palms around the steering wheel, gently pressing my foot onto the gas pedal.
The rocks of the driveway crunched under the tires of my BMW. A week before, Ryan Johnston, the president of this Safe Haven location, had told me how to check for a tracker.
I’d found it under the back fender, where he mentioned it might be.
It was the first thing I took off before getting into my car with my son, Mav, and leaving.
I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat as the ‘clubhouse,’ as they called it, came into view.
It was a two-story house with a wraparound porch. It looked like a typical house, but I knew the truth behind those old doors.
I rechecked my reaview mirror, expecting to see my ex-fiancé, Scott, behind me.
We met in college. His family had money; he took me on expensive yachts and to fancy dinners. Things were great until they weren’t. It wasn’t until after I had Mav that everything went to hell.
Tears coated my eyes as I parked beside the magnolia tree, following Ryan’s instructions and cutting the engine.
The back porch light flickered, my signal to come inside.
The humid Iowa air gripped my skin as I stepped out to get my son from the backseat.
He’d been the person who gave me the courage to run. I couldn’t allow him to grow up in a broken home to think beating your partner was a normal thing.
Mav’s head of ebony hair was smashed against his face, drool coating his mouth. I unbuckled him, startling him awake.
“Mom ...” he said, nervously sitting up.
“I’m here,” I cooed.
He relaxed at the sound of my voice and clung to me as I carried him toward the trunk to gather our bags.
The dark was eerie as I walked to the open back door. Woods surrounded the house, which was in the Iowa wilderness.
Stepping inside, I came face-to-face with Ryan Johnston. His brown hair was cut short to his scalp like the military. He was tall, with broad shoulders and lean muscles. His smile was warm, blanketing me, and there was a calm about him that instantly made me feel welcome.
“Millie?” he asked, his voice deep.
“It’s me,” I said.
Ryan grabbed my bag from my shoulder and ushered me inside. The kitchen was older, with white wooden cabinets and outdated granite. I’d lived in a magazine-worthy house before this.
I prefer an average house any day of the week.
Ryan locked the door behind me, his gaze shifting toward a giant older man entering the room for the hallway. “This is Taylor. He will hide your car until we make sure you’re safe.”
I dug the keys from my pockets, handing them to the gentle giant in the corner. “You’re safe now, Millie,” he said, winking at me. He had salt-and-pepper hair and looked to be in his late forties.
“Thank you.”
Taylor left through the door we entered, locking it back from the outside.
“Uh, did anyone think to make coffee?” a woman asked, walking into the kitchen and scratching her wild auburn hair.
Ryan shot her a look. “This is my sister, Karen. She will get you settled into your room when she wakes up. Some of us don’t do well in the morning.”
Karen straightened when she noticed us. “Oh, hi.” She was a petite woman with a pretty face and kind eyes. “I’m sorry. It takes me a while to wake up.”
“Me, too. Don’t worry,” I replied. .
Karen’s gaze shifted toward Mav. “Hi! Who do we have here?”
Mav hid his face into my shoulder, playing shy.
I chuckled. “Don’t worry. He’ll warm up to you.”
Karen smiled. “We’re going to become best friends before you know it. Let’s get upstairs. We have the bigger bedroom with the attached room that came open last night, so you get the queen bed.” She waggled her brows.
“Are either of you hungry or thirsty before we go upstairs?” Ryan asked.
“I am,” Mav whispered into my ear.
“Just a bit of water for him, please.”
Ryan pulled a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to Mav. He drank it while we followed Karen up the stairs.
The house was older but had tons of charm. Our bedroom wasn’t much different. It had dark blackout curtains, a queen-size bed with a downy comforter, and two nightstands.
“Where are we, Mommy?” Mac asked as Ryan set down our bags.
“A safe place for now,” I said. “I packed your Spider-Man. Here, let me get it.”
I dug it out and handed it to him. “Go ahead and lie down. It’s early, and you need more sleep.”
“Is Daddy coming?” he asked, his little face confused.
My heart sank into my stomach. Mav loved Scotty. Oddly enough, he’d been a good dad to him, just a shitty person to me.
The bruising around my eye right now was proof.
“He got you good,” Karen said, touching the edge of my face.
I nodded.
Ryan stepped over and touched my shoulder. “Don’t worry. He’ll never do it again. And it gets easier for the children,” he whispered. “It always does.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice soft.
Karen walked toward the door. “We’ll let you guys get some rest. You sleep as long as you need to. We’ll have breakfast ready in the morning.”
“Do you have pancakes?” Mav asked.
Karen grinned. “For you, little dude, of course.”
He grinned from ear to ear and curled up on the pillow.
They left us alone, the silence swallowing me as I locked the door and turned off the light. I hurried to use the bathroom, catching sight of the ugly yellow bruise on my way out.
I didn’t even bother changing clothes. I slid into the bed beside Mav and curled up to him.
“Will we see Dad tomorrow?”
I closed my eyes. “No, buddy, we won’t.”
The next morning, I woke up in a panic. Mav’s side of the bed was empty as I searched with my palm.
Sunlight peeked through a small slit in the curtain.
It was mid-morning, at least. I’d slept way longer than I intended to.
Swinging my legs down, I opened the door, the smell of breakfast wafting upstairs.
I still wore the pajama shorts I’d arrived in, but my nerves were too high not to find Mav before changing.
The kitchen was in full swing when I walked downstairs.
Mav sat at the bar with a plate of pancakes, reciting all his colors for Karen.
She perked up when I walked into the room. “Look who’s up, Mav.”
He turned to me with a mouth full of pancakes. “Mom, these pancakes are so good.”
I smiled while wrapping my palm around my elbow and entering the kitchen.
Ryan stood by the stove, nursing a cup of coffee. He wore a mechanic’s shirt, ripped jeans, and a backward baseball cap. “Morning,” he said.
“Your plate is in the microwave,” Karen said, checking her phone. “I need to get to the shop.” She turned to me. “I own a flower shop across from their place. I’ll bring you by soon.”
“That’d be great.”
“Do you need me for anything before I go?” she asked Ryan.
He shook his head. “Nah, we’re good.”
She walked around the bar in white shoes and a simple summer dress that made her look like a doll. “I’ll see you for dinner tonight,” she said. “We’re ordering pizza. Mav said pepperoni was your favorite.”
I gave him a look. “Is that my favorite or yours?”
He grinned while eating.
Karen laughed. “You’re a handful, aren’t you, Mav?”
He shrugged. “Probably.”
Someone laughed from the back door, and Taylor stepped inside with us in a similar mechanic’s shirt.
Taylor gave Karen a high five on her way out, while I nervously grabbed my plate and joined Mav.
“You slept a long time, Mommy.”
“I know. Mom was tired.”
“Are we going to see Dad today?”
My body stiffened again. “No, baby.”
“Why?” he whined.
“Hey, Mav,” Ryan said. “The remote to the TV is on the living room table if you want to find something to watch for a bit.”
“Yeah!” he said, hopping down from the barstool.
I listened to his small footsteps patter on the floor until he reached the couch.
Taylor walked around the bar to sit across from me. “You good, Momma?” he asked.
“Yes,” I lied. I wasn’t good. I felt weak and tired. Worn down and scared to death.
I turned a piece of blonde hair behind my ear. Ryan slid me a cup of coffee, and I immediately sipped it. “Thank you.”
“We’re at the shop today until three. Rem will be here shortly to pick you up.”
“Who’s Rem?” I asked.
“He teaches self-defense. If you’re not up for it today, that’s fine, but you’ll need to go with him while he runs the place.”
“OK.”
Ryan patted my shoulder when the front door opened. The man who walked in wasn’t what I expected.
His black-as-midnight hair was pushed back from his hazel eyes, short on the sides and long on the top, and his jaw was sharp enough to cut glass.
He kicked the door closed behind him, looking at Mav watching cartoons on the couch.
His body was different from the other two men’s. Rem was tall, with giant biceps and a slender waist.
I immediately squeezed my thighs together and gripped the fork in my hands. Rem entered the kitchen, his gaze steady as he swept the room, landing on me.
He stalled for a few seconds, his eyes lingering on mine, before turning to Ryan. “No sign of any newcomers last night,” he said.
His voice was deep like a valley, sliding over me like silk. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so turned on from someone’s voice.
“Good. Are you sure Charles was paying attention? You know he likes to sneak some on the night shift,” Ryan said, mimicking him drinking.
The corner of Rem’s plush mouth tugged into a grin. “He seemed sober enough. I don’t think she was followed.”
His gaze shot to mine again. This time, Ryan caught it. “Rem this is Millie. Millie, Rem.”
Rem offered me a handshake, and I took it. His firm and warm grip made me feel small.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
Rem nodded. “Same. Are we going to the school?”
“She just started breakfast,” Ryan said. “You got in here while we get to the shop?”
“Yeah, I got it,” Rem said.
Ryan and Taylor said their goodbyes, leaving me with a very quiet Rem. I turned my attention to the food and began to eat.
“Mom! Are we going to see Dad now?” Mav shouted from the living room.
I stiffened again. The feeling of complete drowning swallowed me.
Rem shifted behind me, making me nervous with his eyes on me. “He’s a bastard,” he said.
I looked over my shoulder at him. “Who?”
He pointed toward his eye. “The man who put that on your face. A low-down scum. Don’t feel bad for not allowing your kid to see him. He doesn’t deserve either of you.”
“I do feel bad,” I said.
He shook his head and scratched his scruffy jaw, his thick lips pressed into a tight line. “Don’t. You’re safe here, Millie. If he comes looking for you, it’ll be the last thing he does.”
I wanted to believe these men could keep me safe. I prayed for it, but I knew Scotty better than any of them did.
Scotty didn’t take no for an answer.
He took what he wanted, when he wanted, and I knew for certain that he could want us back.
