Five shades of Nico

Winter in London is miserable and cold. like the kind of cold that sinks deep inside your bones.

I have lived here my entire life which is 17 years 6 months and 5 days. me and mum live in a small 2 bed semi-detached house in Dunstable, near Luton.

I have a good life, a calm life. I'm not one of those teenagers who goes out drinking and smoking weed. I'm home at a decent time and try not to cause mum worry.

dad left when I was 9. he just decided one day he wasn't going to be a husband or a father and left. but I still miss him and long to see him again.

I have friends who I adore. a boyfriend who is recent, and somewhat Aloof. but I'm happy. my life is settled. life is normal, life is moving in the direction I like.

mum is a writer for the daily mail. she travels quite a bit. always wanting to get the next top story. she's good at what she does. with that being said, we live modestly, not rich, just comfortable.

But sadly, it's all coming to an end. mum got an offer of a lifetime and is now dragging me across the world to New York. I want to say I'm mad, but I'm also a little excited.

Some big wig in New York offered her a job in their magazine. people magazine is a big thing in America. mums writing skills are in high demand. go figure.

The job comes with accommodation, a car and after one-year, full residency. we sat and discussed it for more than 5 hours last night and I'm supporting her choice.

I'll be attending west pacific prep. a Prestigious school for the rich and wealthy. I'm not sure who or how it was pulled off, but their education is not to be scoffed at.

Everything is packed and all our larger belongings are being held in storage. after one year and we decide to stay, they will be sold, and the money will go to my aunt Teresa.

It won't be easy to fit into a new school when the year ends in six months. but mum assures me that the school I'm attending accommodates ages from 16 to 21, so I can choose to stay on if I want.

my grades are good, solid B+ all the way. I want to be a social worker. I want to help families and kids who have struggled to find a forever home.

I don't sleep well that night. my mind constantly spinning. scenarios play in my mind. what if I'm not liked? what if I'm shunned? what if all the girls I meet are complete bitches?

"You look like I feel." Mum says, coming to sit at the table with a cup of coffee where I've been siting for the last hour.

"I didn't sleep well." I grunt.

"Same. I keep having doubts that this is all a mistake." I see the worry in her eyes.

"don't do that. I think this will be great." who am I trying to convince here.

I don't like her having doubts, they then make me have doubts and we can't afford those, not now. not this close to leaving.

I met up with Misha and Boo last night. Devlin didn't show, no Suprise there. we had burgers and ice-cream. they have been my best friends since junior school. both excited and sad for me that I'm leaving.

"I know." she sighs. "I just want you to be happy. I want you to have the best of the best, it's all I've ever wanted."

I hug her from the side. her head falling to my collar. "I've had the best. I have the best mum, because I have you. I've never needed anything." I squeeze her shoulder, and she nods.

"Your right. as long as we have each other. we can see this as a big adventure. me as the new face of people magazine and you as the new Queen Bee of Pacific prep." I laugh at her comment.

"don't get ahead of yourself. I'm no queen bee. I don't do all that cheer leading shit or go to football games and scream at boys running around after a football."

"You could. I mean, would it be so bad to wear a tiny uniform and shake some pom poms." we both laugh, and I grab a coffee for myself.

"Yeah, nah. not for me." I eventually add.

"I think everyone will be enthralled with your British accent." she muses.

"I doubt it. it's not like I'll be the first person from the UK to attend their school." I scoff sitting down.

"Ok, then they will be enraptured by your beauty." she winks and sips her coffee.

we chat for a bit longer. mum finally clearing our cups and packing them away. it all seems so final, and I take a final look around the only home I've ever known.

we are leaving for the airport in an hour. aunt Teresa is driving us and then keeping mum's car to store in her garage. my room looks empty. my bed now sits unmade and a large white sheet covering the mattress.

Teresa will oversee the removal men when they clear out the house next week. I have so many memories in this room. some good. some heartbreaking.

once the car is loaded and we climb inside, I can't help the tears that fall down my cheeks. mum squeezes my hand from the front seat as Teresa navigates us away from the house.

The airport is busy and noisy. we say an emotional farewell to Teresa and watch her drive away. mum and she were not really that close, but they were there for each other if needed.

we check in, go through security and wait. I think the waiting part is the worst when traveling. don't get me wrong I like to people watch. but after an hour, I'm bored, so I pull out my kindle and get lost in a fictional world.

the flight is 12 hours, and I plan to sleep for most of it. mum looks relaxed as I sit near the window and watch the clouds get thinner the higher, we go.

after some food, I lay flat and drift off into fitful sleep. the plane is quiet but with people constantly getting up and walking about, it's annoying.

I dream of new beginnings. meeting new faces, me laughing and happy. I dream of meeting a boy, No, a man. I don't see his face except for his blonde hair and his blue eyes. we walk hand in hand. he kisses me. we are in love.

I wake with a start. my heart beating out of my chest. I have never in my life dreamt such a vivid dream. I'm brought from my thoughts with the pilot announcing we will be landing shortly.

mum gives me a smile which I return, and we fasten our belts ready to land. I'm so ready to get off this plane and get to our new home. I just hope everything works out for us.