Love Me, Hate Me

They say the people you should stay away from always find a way into your head first thing in the morning. For me, that person was Jack Lockhart.

I’d never even met him — not really. Just a few photos, a few stories, and one unforgettable moment last summer when I heard his voice on speakerphone. Far away, yet still in my head. He had that kind of presence. The kind you couldn’t explain. The kind you shouldn’t be thinking about on the first day of your senior year.

“Lisa, wake up, for God’s sake!” My mom yelled at me for the fifth time in a row.

Today was the first day of senior year. I was excited — in less than three months, I’d finally be eighteen. An actual adult. Free, technically. But if I’m being honest, part of me just wanted to forget everything that happened last night.

I rolled out of my bed and changed into my uniform. Just as I was finishing up, I heard Lucas outside blasting the horn.

“Morning, Mom,” I said as I passed through the kitchen.

“Good morning. How did you sleep, sweetie?” she asked.

“I’ve had better nights,” I replied.

Last night, I broke up with Levi, the guy I’d been dating for six months. He cheated on me with one of his girlfriends—and kept it from me for two months. He clearly wasn’t the one. Don’t ask me how I know that. I just do.

The past few years weren’t exactly kind to me when it came to romance. A few flings here and there, but nothing serious. Whenever I stayed with someone for more than a couple of months, they usually wanted to be intimate. I wasn’t ready. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t just about that — I hadn’t met the right guy yet. The one who felt like he was made for me, and I was made for him. I wasn’t into cheesy love stories, but I still believed in the idea of a soulmate.

Before my dad passed away, I promised him I’d only marry someone who made me truly happy. He didn’t always understand me, but he always showed up. After he died, my mom tried her best — but things shifted. We got distant. I stopped telling her much about my life.

“Come on, girl, we need to go — like now,” Lucas said from the car.

“Bye, Mom” I called out.

“Who’s ready for senior year?” Lucas asked as I jumped in.

“Not me, for sure,” I said, still thinking about Levi. And maybe, if I was being honest... someone else too.

Lucas and I had always been great friends, but over the last year, he became my anchor. The kind of friend who would lie to my mom so I could go on a date and still drive me home without asking questions. She adored him — maybe a little too much. I think part of her secretly hoped we’d end up together one day.

But I never saw him that way. As much as I loved our friendship, I couldn’t imagine ruining it. “Once you go down that road, there’s no going back,” Mom had warned me during one of our rare, awkward talks about boys. She was right.

Lucas had a crush on this nerdy girl two years younger than him — someone from his bio class. I told him to ask her out, but he was always more shy than me.

I was a complex introvert — not into loud parties or forced friendships — but I had a secret wild card in me. I wanted a love that felt reckless. Deep. The kind that could consume me.

Lucas glanced at me and smiled like he knew I was daydreaming again. I always did when we were riding in his red convertible — a gift from his parents for his 18th birthday. God, I love that car.

Lucas came from money — real estate money. His parents had been divorced for five years, but they were both still wildly successful and too busy to notice much. He never acted like he was better than anyone, though. I liked that about him.

His mom, Marisol, was one of the only adults I could talk to about anything — even sex. She was open-minded and never made me feel judged. I’d text her before dates, and she’d calm me down with long voice notes and emojis. I missed her like crazy. She lived in San Francisco now, six time zones away, with her new husband, Victor, and her stepson.

Jack.

I hadn’t met him, but I knew of him — a little too well. He was Marisol’s stepson, Lucas’s sort-of brother, and the black hole I was determined not to fall into.

Straight-A student. Sharp jawline. Sharper tongue. One of those cold, narcissistic overachievers who probably thought he was the misunderstood antihero in everyone’s story. Rumor had it, he once hooked up with two girls at the same party and didn’t even remember their names.

Guys like Jack made it easy to forget your rules. Love me, hate me — they didn’t care which, as long as you were still thinking about them.

And maybe... I was.

When we got to school, I spotted the faces I hadn’t seen all summer. I’d spent two months in Europe, staying with my mom’s sister Olivia. She lives just outside Barcelona, in this dreamy town called El Masnou. A total vibe. Olivia is my mom’s free-spirited younger sister — a painter, a photographer, and possibly the only person in the family who actually knows who she is.

Ten years ago, she packed one bag and left after a fight with my grandparents. She never came back. And now? I get it. The days there felt endless. The sea whispered like it knew your secrets. I always said that once I finished high school, I’d go back. Maybe apply to a college there. Maybe just disappear.

Barcelona had something Boston didn’t. A softness. A rhythm. A way of reminding you that life could be beautiful — not just fast.

But Boston was home. It was Lucas. It was memories of my dad. It was me.

For now.

The first day of senior year was going to be pretty bad for me. I mean, the whole thing with Levi, unfamiliar faces at school, and—God help me—another year of chemistry.

In the hallway, everyone buzzed about their summer hookups, college applications, and the first party of the year at Anna’s Lawson house. The party was legendary. Every year, without fail, Anna somehow convinced her parents to host this huge back-to-school blowout with, like, the entire school invited.

I didn’t want to go. But my classmates made me promise I would.

“Okay, class,” Mr. Morreau said, adjusting his oversize glasses. “Let’s start with a writing prompt. Ten minutes. Describe a moment that changed you.”

Changed me?

I could’ve written about Levi — about how the jerk lied to me, about the kiss that wasn’t mine, about the moment I knew I’d never look at him the same way again. But that didn’t change me. It just made me never want to be in that kind of relationship again.

Instead, I stared at the page.

And thought about a voice I hadn’t heard in months.

I didn’t write a word. But I thought about plenty.

Lucas found me at our usual table in the quad, balancing a tray of fries and two mini ketchup cups like he was handling some precious cargo.

“I told you,” he said, sitting down. “The fries are better this year.”

“You say that literally every year.”

“And I’m always right.”

I smiled. It felt good to smile around him. Effortless.

We ate in comfortable silence until he glanced at me and asked, “You okay, girl? You’ve been quiet.”

For some reason, I liked when he called me girl. It was his way of making me feel seen.

I shrugged. “I mean... I broke up with Levi two days ago.”

“Yeah, but you should be celebrating. He was a walking red flag. Remember when I told you about the time I saw him at that coffee shop with some girl?” He raised his eyebrows. “I’m always right,” he added, with that smug grin that made him look twelve.

Like he had some built-in radar. He was always on point with my relationships.

“I guess so.”

Lucas gave me that look — the one that said,I’m not pushing, but I’m here.

“I just... I feel stupid. Like, how didn’t I see it?”

“Because you wanted to believe he was better than he was.”

I looked up. “That’s way too wise for someone who still watches anime with Korean subtitles.”

“Hey, Korean helps me connect with my heritage.”

“Lucas, you’re, like, barely one-sixteenth Asian.”

“Still counts.”

We both laughed. And just like that, the air felt lighter again.

Then he said it — casually, like it didn’t mean anything.

“Oh, by the way. Jack’s coming next weekend.”

I blinked. “Wait, what?”

“For my birthday, well, not really. He’s coming with my mom. I think he has something going on in New York — work or something.”

My stomach twisted the way it always did when I was nervous and trying to pretend I wasn’t.

“Oh.”

Lucas didn’t notice.

“Probably just for the weekend. You’ll finally meet him.”

“Right,” I said, poking at my fries. “Finally.”

I still remembered that one night last summer. Lucas was on speakerphone, talking to Marisol about something boring. Then Jack’s voice in the background — low, tired, like he didn’t care who heard him.

He said one word. Just one. “Hey.”

And I’d remembered it for weeks.

“By the way, where are you applying for college?” Lucas asked, popping a fry into his mouth like it was no big deal. “I know UCLA’s your dream, but maybe you should list more options? Just in case.”

“I am,” I said, stirring my straw through melting ice. “A few schools on this coast, of course. UCLA would be a miracle if I got in, but I’m applying anyway. And... maybe one in Barcelona.”

His brows lifted. “Barcelona?”

“I know it’s far,” I said quickly, “but I really loved it there. It just felt different. Like I could breathe differently.”

He nodded slowly, like he got it.

Barcelona wasn’t just a place. It was a memory. A maybe. A quiet voice in the back of my mind whispered,you could leave. It wasn’t about running away exactly—but starting somewhere where no one knew who I’d dated, or who my dad was, or how long it took me to speak up in class.

A place where I didn’t feel half-finished.

“I mean, I’m with you,” Lucas said. “I love Boston, but God, I hate the winters here.”

He took a sip of his soda and added, “I’m already in touch with someone from MIT. The dean’s one of my mom’s friends. It’s my dream school. And they’ve got a lot of Asians there—so maybe I’ll finally blend in for once.”

I smiled.

Lucas had that easy kind of optimism I envied. He talked about the future like it was already happening, like all the right doors were just waiting for him to knock. Sometimes, I wished I could feel like that—hopeful, certain, even a little reckless.

But I didn’t. Not yet.

UCLA felt like a restart.

Barcelona felt like an escape.

And right now, both sounded better than here.

My train of thought was interrupted by the school bell. I only had two hours left, but it felt like an eternity.

“See you after?” Lucas asked me.

“Of course. You know I’m not taking the bus,” I laughed.

A couple of hours later, I was home, getting ready for the first party of the year. Ella and Louise had promised to pick me up at 7 p.m. on the dot, so I needed to start preparing. I face timed Lucas and asked what I should wear. I was feeling really optimistic about the night.

With a huge smile on his face, he said, “Wear the white dress.”

“That’s the one for special occasions.” I said.

“Exactly, Liz. It’s time for us to have fun—and we should all look hot and unbothered, I hear Levi would be there.”

That nerdy charm was what I liked about him. We were both ready to have a wonderful night. I honestly do not give a fuck about Levi.

“15 min,” Ella messaged me. I was in such a rush I left my phone on the dresser.

“Look who we have here, ready for a wild night?” Louise said when she arrived.

“So ready,” I replied.

As we arrived at the party, some of our classmates were already drunk. The atmosphere was electric. I found Lucas in the kitchen, talking on the phone with his mom. I only caught part of what he said: “Mom, you know that I don’t want that,” before he ended the call.

I was already wondering what they were talking about when Lucas saw me. He walked over with tears in his eyes.

His mom wasn’t coming for his birthday after all. Instead, she had sent Jack.

“She’s busy,” Lucas said quietly, trying to smile but failing. “Only Jack could come.”

“She insisted I go to San Francisco in a couple of weeks to celebrate with her there,” he added, shaking his head. “But I don’t want that. I wanted her here. Tomorrow”

“I know you’re disappointed,” I said gently, touching his arm, “but don’t let that ruin your night. You’re allowed to feel let down—but you don’t have to feel sad the whole time.”

He looked at me, the corner of his mouth twitching like he wanted to smile but wasn’t sure he could.

“Let’s party tonight,” I added, with a nudge and a grin. “You only have one day till eighteen. Drama or not, let’s make it a good one.”

For a second, he just stared at me. Then he let out a breath, something between a sigh and a laugh.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s party.”

The next day, I woke up super early because I needed to finish my gift for Lucas. I wanted to surprise him with something meaningful, so the other day I had him say something funny into my phone and turned it into a little audio scrapbook.

That morning, mom noticed I seemed a bit happier than the last few days and asked me about the party tonight. When I told her Lucas invited me to stay over, she said yes—on the condition that I promised not to drink alcohol. I nodded along, but in my head I was already picturing a pina colada in my hand.

Lucas arrived at my house a bit later. Mom got the door and wished him happy birthday before I even made it downstairs. When I finally saw him, I almost lost it. He looked amazing—maroon pants, crisp white shirt, Loro Piana shoes, and his hair pulled neatly to the side. He looked like he had just walked out of a magazine.

“Guess turning 18 got you all grown up,” I teased, walking up to him.

“Happy birthday, Luc!” I said, jumping into his arms.

He laughed. “How does it feel to be a legal adult?” I asked.

“Free,” he grinned. “Like a bird.”

The day felt too short. Suddenly I was standing in front of the mirror, getting ready for the party. I needed to be there a bit earlier—Lucas had asked for help with something.

I put on my favorite dress, a red one from Greece. My aunt gave it to me. It had two thin straps crossing in the back and gave off major summer-in-Italy vibes. I let my hair down for the first time in days and curled it softly. It was one of the rare moments I wore makeup, so I chose a bold red lipstick—my mom’s favorite.

Once I was ready, mom drove me to Lucas’s house and stayed a few minutes to chat with him and his dad. They were good friends, and frankly, I was seeing a rare side of her—smiling, social, not working for once. She was a brilliant cook, always hustling at that fine dining restaurant an hour away. I barely ever saw her relax.

Just as Lucas started to ask me something, the front door creaked open.

Jack walked in.

Still in his work clothes, suitcase in one hand and a gift bag in the other. My legs went a little shaky.

Oh my God, I thought.

The second I saw him, everything Marisol ever told me about him came rushing back—how he had a tough shell, wasn’t exactly the best at texting back, but beneath it all, he was soft. Intelligent in a quiet, thoughtful way. The kind of guy who surprised you when you least expected it.

I almost stared at him for a full ten seconds—maybe more, I don’t even know. I couldn’t tell time when I was that lost in his eyes.Thoseeyes. Green like pine trees after it rains. Bright, alive, sharp.

It threw me right back to my childhood—sitting on the floor next to my mom, telling her how one day, I wanted to be with someone who had green eyes. I even said I wanted two babies: one with green eyes like him and one with blue eyes like mine. That was my dream when I was little. And now, here he was. Real. Right in front of me.

And maybe I didn’t believe in fate. Not really. But in that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder if some part of the universe had been listening all along.

I caught myself and shook off the thought—he was Lucas’s brother, and five years older than me.

“Lucas,” Jack said, his voice warm but a little hesitant.

Lucas turned, surprise flashing across his face. “Jack? You actually came?”

“Yeah. Took a short trip from New York. Your mom made me swear to hand this to you in person.” He held out the gift bag.

Lucas stared at it for a moment, then took the bag and let out a soft laugh—part disbelief, part gratitude. “Thanks.”

“You okay?” Jack asked, quieter now.

Lucas nodded, but his eyes gave him away. “Yeah.”

I stepped back to give them space. It wasn’t the night Lucas had imagined—but maybe, just maybe, it could still be a good one.

I could feel Jack’s eyes on me—steady, unbothered, curious. He looked at me like he knew me. Not in a creepy way. In that strange, familiar way that makes your chest tighten a little. So easy and unrestrained, like he’d known me for life.

“Hey, Lisa,” he said, his voice soft but clear.

I blinked, caught off guard. “Hey, Jack,” I replied, trying to keep my voice light as I pretended my mom was calling me from the other room. I stepped away, heart oddly unsettled. He was just Lucas’s brother... but there was something about the way he looked at me that didn’t feel like a stranger at all.

Lucas turned back to the gift bag, pulling out a white envelope and a small folder.

He opened the folder first.

“Plane tickets?” he asked, confused.

I stepped closer, peeking over his shoulder. Two tickets. One with his name. One with mine.

“To San Francisco,” he said quietly, glancing at me.

“Open the envelope,” Jack said gently.

Lucas tore it open and pulled out a folded letter. I watched his face shift as he read—confusion, frustration, then something softer.

Without a word, he handed it to me.

“Lucas, I know this isn’t what you wanted. I should’ve been there tonight—no excuse can change that, and I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt you. But I also know how important this birthday is. You’ve grown into someone strong, kind, and full of fire. You’ve found people who matter, who bring out the best in you. I see that, even from afar. These tickets are for you and Liz. I thought maybe a change of scenery, just for a weekend, could be something good. I’d love to see you both. To talk. To show up the way I should have tonight. If you’ll let me. Love, Mom”

By the time I looked up, Lucas was blinking fast, lips pressed together. Jack had quietly stepped away, giving us space.

“I don’t even know what to say,” he whispered.

“Maybe... just say yes?” I offered, softly.

He looked at me and gave the smallest, most genuine smile I’d seen all night. “Yeah. Maybe I will.”

Later that night, I was by the pool, finally catching my breath. I had been dancing for almost two hours straight, and my feet werekilling me. I kicked off my heels and dipped my toes in the water, letting the coolness calm the throbbing in my legs.

I turned to grab my drink from the side table—mywell-earned pina colada—only to find Jack already sipping from it like it belonged to him.

What the hell.When didheshow up?

I must’ve been too caught up in my own thoughts because I hadn’t even noticed him sit down.

“That’s a really good drink,” he said casually, the glass still in his hand, eyes on the water like we were old friends catching up.

I narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me? That’smydrink.”

He looked at me, amused. “Oh. Is it? Well, you left it unguarded. Poolside rules—finders keepers.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I muttered, reaching for it.

But instead of handing it over, he leaned back with a smug grin and took another sip.

“Seriously, Jack? I danced in heels for two hours. That was my one reward.”

He laughed, clearly not sorry. “Alright, alright.” He stood up, brushing imaginary dust off his shirt. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll get you another one. A better one. Something... unforgettable.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Unforgettable, huh? Big promise.”

He smirked. “You’ll see.”

And just like that, he walked off toward the house, disappearing into the crowd with all the confidence in the world. I sat there, blinking after him, half-annoyed, half-curious.

This night was getting... interesting.

A few minutes later, Jack reappeared, this time with a new drink in hand. He leaned down to hand it to me, his face just inches from mine, and I could smell the faint trace of his cologne.

“Here you go. Oneunforgettablepina colada,” he said with a grin, like he was daring me to question it.

I took the glass, eyeing him for a moment. “You better have made it right this time,” I said, trying to keep my tone cool, but the flirtation hung in the air like the warmth of the night.

I took a sip. It was perfect—sweet, just the right amount of kick, like it was made just for me.

“I’ll give you credit,” I said, lowering the glass. “You know your way around a bar.”

He sat down beside me, not breaking eye contact. “Told you. But the drink’s not the most memorable part of this night, Lisa.”

My heart skipped a beat, but I tried to stay casual. “Is that so? What’s the most memorable part, then?”

Jack leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable, but there was a glint in his eyes. “I think it might be the fact that you haven’t pushed me in the pool yet.”

I chuckled, feeling the tension in the air shift a little. “Well, you still owe me a drink, so I’m holding off for now.”

He grinned, clearly enjoying the banter. “Fair enough. But just so you know, Icanbe a bad influence.”

I raised an eyebrow, looking at him like I wasn’t sure if I believed him. “I think you might be a little too good at that already.”

The night stretched on, the music louder, the energy buzzing, and I found myself sitting there with Jack far longer than I’d expected. We talked about everything—school, our mutual friends, the weird things that happened during family holidays—and I realized, somewhere between the jokes and the easy conversation, that he wasn’t just Lucas’s older brother. He was... fun.

The kind of fun you didn’t know you needed until it was right in front of you.

By the time the party was winding down, I wasn’t sure how I ended up standing by the pool with him again, but there we were, staring at the lights reflecting on the water.

“You know,” Jack said, breaking the silence, “I never did ask you... what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t?”

Sometimes,” I said quietly, watching the waves roll in, “I just want to go somewhere I’ve never been before. No map. No plan. Just... drive until the road ends and see what I find.”

Jack glanced at me, but didn’t interrupt.

“And I know it sounds kind of stupid,” I added, rubbing my arms against the breeze. “You’ll probably think I’m just some high school girl stuck in a fantasy, but—I’ve always dreamed about falling in love. Not the safe, quiet kind. The kind that feels like a movie. You know? Big, messy, all-consuming.”

I paused, embarrassed. “I guess I have this... progressive view of love. I don’t care about rules or timelines. I just want something real. Someone who makes me feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Someone who gives me the ending people say only exists on screen.”

I laughed softly. “Call me crazy, but I still believe in that kind of love. Even when the world says it’s naive.”

Jack didn’t say anything for a beat. Then, gently:

“That’s not crazy. That’s brave. I promise you will get your perfect ending, you just need to take action.”

I turned to look at him, half-smiling. “That’s a pretty big promise, Jack.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he said with a wink, his eyes lingering just a little too long before he straightened up and checked his watch.

The moment felt loaded, like something was about to shift—but then he cleared his throat.

“Anyway, I’d better get going,” he said, standing up. “I need to be at a different party.”

I watched him walk away, the air around me feeling a little heavier than it had before. The night had taken a turn I hadn’t expected, and for the first time in a while, I wasn’t sure what was coming next.

My head was spinning.

Maybe it was the pina coladas. Or maybe the daiquiris. Or maybe the fact that I danced like my life depended on it. Either way, everything was a little blurry around the edges as I wandered through the upstairs hallway, barefoot, humming a song I didn’t even recognize.

I just needed a bed. Any bed.

The first door I pushed open led into a softly lit bedroom—huge, warm, quiet. There was a porcelain lamp on the nightstand, casting a golden glow. The bed looked like heaven.

Without even thinking, I stumbled toward it, collapsed face-first into the comforter, and let out a sigh so deep it probably echoed down the hall. The world spun just a little slower, and before I could even pull the blanket up, I was out cold.