Operation Labubu

Operation Labubu

The chattering din of her fellow agents filled her large, upright ears as Momo entered the meeting. She had been concerned about how long it took her to escape the human dwelling she had been assigned, but that fear had been pointless as the meeting still had not started. She gazed out over the collection of colorful, fur-covered agents, with their wide eyes, thin smiles, and large ears. Many of her fellow agents bore marks of the trauma of their assignment on the latest planet targeted for invasion by the Labubu Federation. The meeting space was the inside of a transport ship, its chrome walls curving around them and reflecting muted and stretched images of her fellow Labubu agents back. She quietly took her place among the crowd, waiting for General Artum to call order.

“Mother, bless you!” Artum’s voice boomed across the room.

“Bless Mother Labubu!” they all chorused back in unison, turning their attention to the golden general taking center stage in the cavernous hall. The room fell into ‌tense silence as they all waited for the meeting to begin.

“This meeting has been called to determine the future of our mission here.” Artum continued. “I will hear arguments and then we will see if the generals can reach a quorum. First to speak is agent Rix.” Artum was a larger agent, his fur a soft yellow gold color, with a nicked scar running across his pale peach face. Beside him, Rix waddled up, movements stiff and joints unmoving. A low gasp swept through the crowd as Rix took the podium, followed by uneasy murmurs. Momo’s stomach turned as she gazed at the monstrosity the agent had become. His fur and skin were completely coated with thick gold paint. His eyes were gone, only the lined impression of them visible under the flaky golden coat. The thickness of his body diminished as the fur bowed under the weight of the golden lacquer, making him look as if he had mange.

“Horrific, I know!” Rix’s voice was a difficult rasp, and flakes of gold fell from him as his mouth moved stiffly. “My human was informed that the golden Labubu was coveted above all and decided to ‘DIY’ me.” Horror suffused Momo’s limbs as she realized what had been done to her college. He turned stiffly, his joints refusing to move. “I can not see! I can not move! Are these horrors … is Terra really worth them!” Rix proclaimed. The crowd erupted into anxious chatter at his declaration. Momo listened to those around her, some advocating the abandonment of the planet immediately, others saying the risks were known when the job was taken.

“Thank you, Rix, for your testimony.” Artum said, stepping onto the stage as a lavender agent helped guide Rix off the podium.

“RIX IS NOT THE ONLY ONE!” A voice called out as another agent pulled themselves onto the stage. Momo felt her eyes widen slightly as the poor creature moved into the center. Patchy black dye covered the agent’s fur and skin, faded in some places, the only untouched part there wide white eyes.

“Agent, what did they do to you?” Artum said, clearly surprised.

“I, too, have been the victim of a human ritual called the ‘DIY’ where they seem to delight in experimentally altering us! My human TOOK MY EYES and then submerged me in a container of such incredible heat I prayed to the mother to take me!” An agent somewhere behind Momo gasped in horror, and she could not fault them.

“When the pain was finally over and my eyes returned to me, THIS IS WHAT I BEHELD!” the agent said animatedly. “The other human called me a ‘hate crime’! They must know what we are and must be torturing us for amusement! It is the only possibility!” The agent’s voice broke towards hysteria by the end, and he collapsed to the ground sobbing. “I was supposed to be bonded after this! BONDED!” he sobbed. Tense silence followed as several other agents rushed to usher the sobbing creature away, sobs still echoing in the silence.

“Right … um…‌ Next is…” Artum began awkwardly.

“Me. And I just have to say, you all disgrace the mother!” A light-pink agent stepped forward.

“Yes, Agent Knox, your perspective?” Artum yielded the stage to the newcomer.

“I know we all remember the horrors of the Atraxium campaign! This is nothing, NOTHING compared to that! I am glad to put myself at risk for the mother!” Knox declared, puffing out her chest with pride. Someone scoffed from the front row.

“Have something to say, Kigam?” Knox sneered.

“Actually, yes! Knox, we are on the same assignment! I know the ‘horrors’ you face in the mother’s name! We sit on a shelf in a room alone until our human brings in a new agent. We are not even gathering information, just dust as the human hordes us,” Kigam yelled out.

“Hords you? For what purpose? What would a human take more than one Labubu?” someone asked in the crowd.

“WHO KNOWS! To taunt us? The last agent was right; this proves they know what we are and are trying to stop our mission!” someone exclaimed. Knox scoffed.

“The humans are too dense to know what we are! Part of the information packet included their obsession with possessing things. It is nothing more than a small, primal collecting instinct. Like the Vidanm on Midrown Six!” His assertion had some nodding. Momo recalled learning about the various planets conquered for the mother. Midrown Six was populated by small black-winged creatures who compulsively built piles of anything with a shine on it, fighting to the death over shiny pieces of ore and measuring success by the size of one’s pile. They had been so preoccupied with collecting the shiny bits that it had taken them too long to realize the invasion had started. The remaining Vidanm now worked the land on Midrown six for the glory of the mother in exchange for random scraps of broken transport vehicles.

“You are mistaken! I have witnessed an intricate ritual to appease one of the powerful small ones!” someone shouted, and the crowd parted as a scared blue agent joined Knox on the stage. Knox’s thin mouth turned down as he looked over the newcomer.

“Tell us about this ritual agent.” Artum encouraged.

“They offered me as a sacrifice! Placed in a receptacle and then brought to a gathering of the smaller ones, where they used their sonic weapons to elevate and praise one of them. They chanted war chants and then presented the small one with piles of offerings!” the scared blue one asserted. “Then the small one brought me home, and its companion canine attack unit gave me this!” the blue agent gestured to the rough scar arching across his face. More murmurs filled the room, and Momo felt herself becoming more and more anxious with every story told.

“C-canine attack unit?” Knox said, confused.

“YES! So while you are sitting collecting dust and proclaiming it is all worth it for the mother, some of us are being used as sacrificial elements!” the blue agent growled.

“Thank you for your testimony, agent,” Artumn said, looking tense as he ushered both agents off the stage. “Next is Bink?” A wide-eyed, though unblemished, brown Labubu nodded as she took the stage, a pink bow pinned to her ear.

“I don’t know why we expect civility from these creatures. Look at how they mutilate themselves!” Bink’s voice was high and squeaky, bouncing off the walls unpleasantly.

“What do you mean, mutilate themselves?” Artumn asked, his oval eyes narrowing slightly.

“JUST LAST NIGHT I WATCHED MY HUMAN WRIP SHEETS OF HER FUR OUT OF HER!” Bink’s voice grew even higher as she screamed, her stubby arms waving wildly as she spoke. A horrified gasp escaped Momo’s lips, and she was not the only one.

“Rubbish, they naturally have very little fur, why would they rip it out?” someone said, incredulity heavy in their tone.

“Because they are MONSTERS!” Bink shot back, tears rolling out of her eyes.

“Not only that! My human seems to put a chemical on her face nightly to allow her to peel off a layer!” someone called. More murmurs broke out, creating an eerie, echoing hiss in the room. It took Artumn several tries before he could get the agents to calm down enough to proceed.

“Listen! I understand that it’s harrowing, but does that not make the glory for the mother even greater?” He asked the crowd when they had finally quieted. Silence greeted him as if they did not know how to respond. “Let’s look on the bright side? Our invasion has been successful. We now have agents in many human dwellings, spies gathering intel on their weaknesses! And they have weaknesses! Let’s hear from Colonel Bondi. She will tell us of the weaknesses she has complied!” Artumn gestured to an agent who stepped onto the stage. Horrified gasps ricocheted around the room as they beheld her. She was dressed in a bright pink dress with sparkling gemstones pressed on the light peach skin of her face. Clearly, she was another victim of the horrific DIY activities of the humans.

“Fret not, fellow Labubu, for the mother would not task us with the impossible!” Despite her trauma, her voice was steady and confident as she spoke. “For the humans have many MANY weaknesses! For one, many of them depend utterly on the bitter brown liquid they refer to as coffee.” Murmurs seemed to agree with her observation. Momo had heard the larger human telling the small one not to talk to her before her morning coffee frequently. “Perhaps it is a communication aid. We do not know. Our scientists are working on a way of weaponizing this dependence AS WE SPEEK.” Cheers filled the room. Optimism pushed against the horrified dread that had been building. Even so, some of the more damaged agents shook their heads.

“Another thing is, they require frequent hibernation periods! Just now, this meeting is possible because of their hibernation periods! The Labubu need only one hibernation period every gigasen! We are superior in our fortitude! Even the fur-covered Eldritch guardians hibernate frequently. The strange feline creature with my human simply lies in patches of solar radiance all day!” More sounds of agreement echoed. “They also depend on the thing they call food. Hit them there and they can not function!” Bondi said.

“No, they get more aggressive when they lose access to food! It’s an aggression dampener!” Someone called. “They even have a word for it. My human’s mate calls her ‘Hangry’ when she has not consumed the substance recently.”

“This is true; they even use substances as part of their courting rituals to ensure that neither is aggressive when seeking a bonding.” Bondi nodded. “But we have observed that if they go for prolonged periods with no sustenance, then the anger subsides and gives way to fatigue and weakness.” No one contradicted the information.

BEEP! BEEP! Suddenly, a screeching alarm filled the room.

“Quick! The time allotted for our meeting to go unnoticed has expired! We shall take into account the arguments heard today and at other similar meetings to decide what course the mother thinks is best. Thank you all for the risks you take in the name of the Mother. Any who are too injured to return to duty, please stay. The rest, Mother bless you!”

“Bless mother Labubu,” the creatures chorused before dispersing, Momo moving back towards the transportation tunnels that would take her to her assignment, apprehension rolling through her as she felt herself to be zipped through space before emerging in the vent of the human’s home. She moved like a silent ghost, reattaching the rip cord that held her to the backpack of the small human she observed, the creature still snoozing soundly in her bed.