Backflip
Hello!
My name is Ned, and I’m a cactus who wasn’t always conscious but then gained consciousness one day!
I’m not sure how I gained it, but when I did I immediately knew a lot of languages and whatnot, and so I was prepared to be able to interact with lots of different folks I might run into.
And when I say run into, I do indeed mean that I really was able to run too, and I really did enjoy being able to move around and whatnot!
At first, I didn’t really encounter any people, and when I say at first I mean for a very long time.
Like, I wasn’t really counting the days or anything, but it must’ve been years before I finally encountered anybody!
I mean, I would encounter a fellow cactus from time to time, but (to my knowledge) I am still the only cactus I’ve ever met who is conscious.
But, anyway, back to when I first encountered a fellow conscious being!
I was traveling along, and I really wasn’t expecting to encounter anybody, and then I saw a human nearby!
I knew that she was a human because I had knowledge of what some various species were along with the languages that I knew, though I still didn’t know how I had gained consciousness or how I knew various languages and what some various species were.
I immediately said, “Hello, human!” and the human looked around with a puzzled look on her face; and then she said, “Who said that?
And where are you?
Are you hiding behind that cactus?” and then she walked over to me and checked to see if anyone was hiding behind me.
“Hmmm…” she said, “Maybe the voice came from underground?…
Maybe there’s a hole or a trapdoor around here somewhere?” and then I said, “It’s actually me, the cactus!, who talked to you!
See, somehow I gained consciousness and some information a while back, and I’ve been wandering around the desert ever since!
And you’re actually the first person I’ve run into who I’ve been able to have a conversation with!
Oh, and my name is Ned, by the way.
Do you mind if I inquire as to what your name is?…”
The lady looked quite shocked by what I had said, and so I added, “I can further prove that it’s actually me who’s talking to you by doing this!” and then I did a backflip that I’d been practicing during my years of travel; and then she giggled and said, “Well, I guess it must be you who’s talking then!, because I’ve definitely never seen a cactus do a backflip before!
Oh, and I’m Sally, by the way, and it’s nice to meet you, Ned!
And ya know what?, I think that my husband Sal would enjoy meeting you too!, and so do ya wanna come with me to go meet him?” and then I said, “Why, thank you for the offer!, and meeting your husband sounds like lots of fun to me!” and then she said, “Cool beans!
Just follow me then!, and we’ll travel over to the humble abode that Sal and I own!” and then she began walking off in a particular direction, and I happily followed her towards her and Sal’s humble abode!…
