Yet Another Betrayal
Marissa
“It’s go time. Get to the hospital now! She needs you in the delivery room with us.”
Of all the times for an emergency to come up, this was probably the best. Having had the most humiliating workday, finding out my new pseudo niece or nephew was coming into the world was the best distraction. I’d been passed over for yet another promotion. One that I’d been vehemently reassured was completely in the bag the past couple of months. The whole thing was a huge slap in the face.
I didn’t care that I was interrupting Regina’s moment of glory as I stood up in the middle of the meeting. John, my manager, had gathered us all here to share the ‘good news’ of the newly appointed director of our department. A new hire who hadn’t even been around a year and was already failing miserably in her appointed role. But that wasn’t any of my concern right now.
“Sorry, I have to head to the hospital. Family emergency,” I said as I walked out of the meeting room and rushed to grab my things from my desk.
The entire office, even HR, knew I’d been on standby for the past week in case my pseudo-sister, Lucy, went into labor, which was thankfully today. It was a relief not to be forced to sit and pretend to be happy for a girl I’d trained who was still screwing up so massively I wondered how they’d let it slide. I genuinely didn’t know how to feel about it, nor did I have the time to, now that a precious little soul was coming into this world.
The hospital was a fifteen-minute drive from my office, and I could tell how anxious Jerome was from the barrage of messages he kept sending me asking where I was.
Jerome: We just made it to the hospital
Jerome: Where are you?
Jerome: Mari?
Jerome: She keeps crying and asking for you!
Jerome: Mari???? Answer now!
Unable to answer him since I was driving, I decided to call him instead.
Jerome’s frantic voice came on the line. “Oh, thank God, Mari, where are you?”
“Jerome, take a deep breath,” I said as I took a turn, checking my GPS for how long it would take me to get there. “I’m five minutes out, and I need you to relax, okay?”
“I’m fine, it’s not me. Lucy is a mess, and I don’t know what to do. You always know what to do.” Damn it, he sounded like he was on the verge of a panic attack.
“Jerome! I’m getting here as fast as I can. Tell me, what did the doctors say?” I asked, trying to distract him.
“Um... that she’s nowhere near close to giving birth yet. Still three centimeters dilated. She gave us some exercises to do to help ease her discomfort,” he said, finally feeling more grounded.
“Good, good. Go do that, and you’ll find me in front of you in no time. What room are you in?”
“Room 43,” he said, then took a deep breath. “Thanks for this. Lucy’s just been freaking out since her water broke, and I sort of lost it. What if I lose her, Mari?”
The fear in his voice broke my heart. “You won’t, Jerome. It’s going to be okay, both she and the baby will come out of this strong and healthy,” I said, not sure if it was my place to make such a promise, but I needed him calm and strong for when the hard part started.
“Right, thanks. See you soon.” With that, he hung up, and I let out a sigh of relief. I was supposed to be the steady one, but their panic was unfortunately feeding into my own anxieties of losing one of my oldest friends, someone I considered a sister from back when we were in middle school.
Jerome and Lucy were both raised in foster care and had no other living relatives. We all went to the same high school, and she was the sister I never knew I needed. She and Jerome only started dating in college, though, that was when they realized they were kindred spirits. Lucy’s mother died in childbirth, giving birth to her baby brother when Lucy was five. Neither of them made it. When talk of children came up, Lucy’s fear of dying like her mother always reared its ugly head. They both wanted a big family, having grown up without one themselves, but that meant Lucy had to face her biggest fears to make it happen, and she’d been a complete wreck throughout her pregnancy.
When I finally made it to the hospital, Jerome was waiting outside the room, still looking shaky as he pushed me inside. I was annoyed that he’d left her alone when her state was so precarious, but I decided now wasn’t the time to nitpick some of his bad behavior. The second Lucy saw me, she burst into loud, scary sobs, and I ran to her side. She held onto me for dear life, and I tried to soothe her by running my hand down her back.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. Everything will be okay,” I said, brushing a kiss to her forehead.
She shook her head as she pulled me in closer. I felt so bad for her; this was supposed to be a happy day for both of them, but all she could feel was fear. It really put my work problems into perspective.
Turning to Jerome, I found him anxiously pacing by the door. I needed to separate them so they wouldn’t feed into each other’s energies. “How about you go get me some coffee? This might take a while, and I’m exhausted from work.”
“Of course,” he said quickly. I knew he’d wanted an excuse to leave without feeling horrible.
The second he was out of the room, I pulled out of Lucy’s grip enough to look her in the eyes.
“What did the doctor say about your mom?”
“That she had a pre...existing heart condition that... couldn’t survive her giving...birth,” she said between sobs.
“What did your doctor say about you?”
“I don’t have Mom’s condition...my heart is strong and steady.” Her sobs died down a little by the last word. “But there are other complications that could happen.”
“I know, but so far, the doctors are confident in your health. You’ve been taking really good care of yourself for the last nine months. I’m pretty sure you’re the most fit mother I have ever seen.” That, thankfully, made her giggle.
“I love you, Mari,” she said, pulling me into another hug, this time less tight and more comfortable. I rubbed my hand down her back again, feeling her relax in my arms.
“I love you too, Lucy.”
“I’m sorry about how things have been so far,” she said in a soft voice I almost didn’t hear. “I know we’ve hurt you, but it’s been hard for us too.”
My body froze at her words, unwilling to discuss that this second. I’d been very good for the past few months, and didn’t want to let out my anger, frustration, and yes, my hurt, at such a vulnerable moment.
“Let’s focus on the baby, okay? This isn’t important right now,” I said, forcing a smile.
“But they will be here soon. Hell, they might be on their way, and I don’t want you to be upset with me.”
I took a breath to calm myself down. Of course, he would be here. Jerome had probably sent him the same frantic messages he had sent me. He was probably out in the hall calling him to make sure he was on the way, too. Unlike me, he wouldn’t be able to leave his job in the middle of the day, but that wouldn’t stop Jerome from harassing him until he did.
“All that matters today is you and your baby,” I whispered, trying to reassure her I wouldn’t make a scene.
Derek was to Jerome what I was to Lucy. His brother from another mother, like they used to say. They were mere acquaintances in school until they became roommates their freshman year of college. Ever since then? They’d been inseparable. Hell, it was Lucy and Jerome who forced us on a blind date where we hit it off. Two years in, and we were already living together, and it felt like a perfect way for two best friends to date two best friends. Until I walked in on him sleeping with someone else on my kitchen table five months ago.
I hadn’t wanted to put Lucy and Jerome in the middle, so I’d underplayed my anguish in their presence. Derek and I had been together for close to five years when that happened. I’d been expecting a ring and instead got heartbreak. But I couldn’t risk Lucy’s pregnancy, so I held it in. Every time they’d force us together to bring the peace, or let bygones be bygones, I’d had to bite my tongue, shut down, or excuse myself and leave. It didn’t help, of course, that Derek had moved his affair partner in a few weeks after I moved out. And according to Lucy, she’d been an absolute angel to her.
Of course, they would love her. Why wouldn’t they? She was kind, thoughtful, and always there whenever I couldn’t be because of work. Caroline, Derek’s new girlfriend, worked as a virtual assistant from home. She didn’t have working hours she needed to adhere to. That slowly endeared her to Lucy, and the incredible chemistry and connection she had with Derek endeared her to Jerome. I was slowly being phased out because of my inability to deal with the situation. My inability to get over the hurt. It didn’t help that Derek was all friendly smiles and pitying looks when he saw me. He tried to make small talk and ask how I was doing. I never responded or acknowledged his presence, making me the villain of the story.
See how nice he’s being about all of this? Why are you making it so difficult when he doesn’t hold any ill will towards you? He’s happy and has found someone great. I’m sure you will too. We need you to be able to be in the same room again, Mari. My baby deserves an aunt and uncle who can be in the same room as one another. It’s not fair that you’re dividing our group because he fell out of love with you.
I have had to cope with variations of these words from both Lucy and Jerome over the past few months. Trying to force me to get over the betrayal because I was creating a divide in the group. Why the hell would the guy who cheated on me hold any ill will towards me? I was the one who’d been wronged, and somehow my pain was inconvenient to them because it shattered their cheerful facade.
In all honesty, I don’t know how I would have reacted to their taking his side so clearly if Lucy hadn’t been pregnant when the truth came out. My need to support her throughout the scariest time of her life far outweighed my need to go low contact and lick my wounds. Which, unfortunately, forced me to spend more time in Derek and Caroline’s company than I would have liked. Especially since I’d moved in with them a couple of months ago, when Lucy’s anxieties became crippling enough, she spent more time in bed than out. I had to help keep both her and Jerome sane and fed. It was a good way to stop thinking about my heartbreak until, of course, Derek and Caroline stopped by for ‘support’.
Six hours later, Lucy was fully dilated and ready to go. Jerome let us know Caroline and Derek were outside in the waiting room, praying for them. I didn’t say anything as I changed into scrubs and was taken into the delivery room. I held one of Lucy’s hands while Jerome held the other. We both showered her with love and encouragement, trying to ease her pain as she brought a new life into this world. The sweet cries of a healthy baby had us all crying with pure joy and relief. Lucy was safe. The baby was safe. Despite the pain, everything was okay.
I stayed with Lucy as they helped change and fix her up, then took her back to her room. Jerome had followed the baby to the nursery, and to tell his friend the news, his eyes were still awash with tears. I sat down next to Lucy, as her eyes continued to water with happy tears.
“You made it, my sweet, sweet girl,” I whispered, and she laughed as she tried to rub the tears out of her eyes, but she was too tired. I brought a tissue and dried it out for her myself. “See? Told you there was nothing to worry about.”
She giggled again, this time happier and more at peace than I had seen her since her pregnancy announcement all those months ago. “You’re always right.”
“Knock knock,” a masculine voice called out without actually knocking as two heads came through the door. “Mind if we come in?”
Lucy sat up, looking at me to see if she was presentable. I gave her a reassuring nod. She turned and smiled at them. “Of course not.”
“I can’t believe you just gave birth to a precious baby boy,” Derek said, grinning with excitement.
The smile pierced my heart at the realization that this was the way he’d always smiled at the possibility of us having a baby together. He’d talk about it extensively, especially once Lucy and Jerome had announced their pregnancy. There were days he’d look at me with this wistful look in his eyes, and when I’d ask what was up, he’d tell me he was imagining me carrying our child. And now, he was looking at Caroline the same way. Did none of it matter to him? Did he not care who carried the child as long as he eventually had one?
I looked away as I stood to fluff the pillows and make Lucy comfortable in her upright position. She smiled gratefully at me, but then her eyes turned guarded as she grabbed my arm. I stopped what I was doing, confused. She had been doing so well. What was going on? It was obvious she wanted to tell me something, but wasn’t sure how to do it.
“Baby’s here!”
We all jumped up as Jerome walked into the room, the bundled baby held so delicately in his arms. Seeing his wife’s hand on my arm, I could tell something had passed between them before he walked determinedly to my side. Lucy let go of my arm as, instead of handing the baby off to her, Jerome handed him to me. I was so startled, I almost let go of him, but I held on tight as the precious little thing fidgeted in my grip. He didn’t cry out or open his eyes, just moved restlessly as I adjusted my grip on him, and I couldn’t help but tear up at how beautiful he looked. Dear God, I always thought my career came first, but now my ovaries were going into overdrive at wanting a baby of my own.
Would that have been my reaction if Derek and I were still together? Would I have returned home from this day to talk him into having a baby of our own?
“What did you decide to call him?” Caroline asked, looking mesmerized at the baby in my arms.
Jerome cleared his throat as he looked at Lucy, who gave him a firm nod, though she didn’t smile like Jerome had before he turned to Derek and Caroline on the other side of the bed.
“We decided to call him Derek. Derek Jerome Santiago.”
I had often wondered how much of the betrayal I could accept before it broke me. This. This was my breaking point.
