Tired of Speaking
There wasn’t much that I was expecting out of this new town. Attitude City was a weird name, but it couldn’t be that bad. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting anything to happen, especially not on the first day of moving. It was a nice place, for the most part. People were crowding the streets; most of the people were street vendors and the others were customers. Nearly every vendor was selling a shirt with a guy’s face on it, which was a little weird but whatever, to each their own. The people seemed nice too, except for the fact they were all pushing and running past everyone else.
What happened to make them all seem scared?
“Get out of the way!” Someone shouted from behind me.
I turned around quickly and found myself face-to-face with a car; it was headed straight for me. I should’ve ran or something but I didn’t, all I did was stand there.
“Didn’t you hear me!? I said move!” Someone growled, right as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I felt myself being pulled roughly to the side, slightly down an alleyway.
I turned my head towards where the voice was coming from. It belonged to a man with an enormous mop of hair on his head and a leather jacket slung on his shoulders.
“Why didn’t you move? You were going to die!”
“Well, excuse me Mr.-” I growled, snapping out of my trance. I paused, realizing that I hadn’t gotten his name.
“Sexbang. Danny Sexbang.” He answered.
Are you serious!? What kind of name is that!?
“That’s not a name.” I scoffed, turning my head back towards the entrance of the alleyway. A man, dressed all in black, was leaning against the wall.
“Is everything okay?” Danny questioned.
The man nodded, tilting his head towards where the car was.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing. Ninja Brian just made sure that everything was safe for us to get going.” Dan answered.
What kind of name is Ninja Brian!? More importantly, who the hell are these guys!?
“You’re just going to leave me? After I was almost killed by a car driven by...whoever the hell that was!?”
Ok, that wasn’t what I wanted to say.
“Samurai Abstinence Patrol.” Dan answered.
Ok, now I’m even more confused than before.
“They’re samurai?”
Ninja Brian nodded.
“And what about you two, then? Are you part of that Samurai Chastity Party, or whatever?”
“Us? Part of Samurai Abstinence Patrol? You’ve got to be joking.” Dan sighed, chuckling slightly.
The man, sorry- Ninja Brian, signed something really quickly, but apparently Danny caught it with ease.
“I don’t think she does, actually.” Dan said, seeming to answer him.
I looked between both of them before asking, “What’d he say about me?”
“He just asked if you knew who we are, which, judging by your reaction, you probably don’t.” Dan shrugged, Ninja Brian nodding silently next to him.
“Also, we’re not going to leave you here, not with Samurai Abstinence Patrol on the prowl.” Dan added.
“So, who are you then, anyway?” I asked, leaning against the wall.
“Come with us and I’ll tell you.”
“Tell me and I’ll go with you.”
I saw Ninja Brian slowly raise a knife, out of the corner of my eye.
“Also, he has a knife.” I added.
“Don’t mind him. He just likes to stab people, occasionally.” Dan shrugged.
My eyes widened, slightly. “Okay, well nice meeting you, but I gotta go.”
“Brian.” Dan turned and glanced at the masked man, as he slowly started to lower the blade.
“We’re called Ninja Sex Party, by the way.” Dan smirked, grabbing hold of my wrist once more and pulling me along with him.
“Because that makes so much sense.” I rolled my eyes.
Dan chuckled softly and continued pulling me towards wherever we were going, Ninja Brian trailing slowly behind, probably keeping out an eye for Samurai Abstinence Patrol, or whatever.
We eventually reached an apartment building with graffiti covering every square inch of brick, that I could see. Ninja Brian walked up the door and pushed it open, Dan pulling me inside.
“Welcome to the ‘Chamber of Passion’.”
I quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “What the hell is with you and weird-ass names?”
Ninja Brian was in the middle of signing something, before I piped in with, “Are you mute or do you just choose not to talk?”
He shrugged his shoulders and flipped me off.
“Doesn’t answer my question.” I rolled my eyes.
“He had his vocals chords cut out. It’s because of Samurai Abstinence Patrol. They ambushed us during the night, one time; they took us by surprise and Brian was caught in the crossfire of it all. He was going to die unless his neck was stitched up, and to do that his vocals chords had to be removed.” Dan explained, in place of the ninja.
“I-is that why you’re so hellbent on destroying them?” I asked, hesitantly.
I saw Brian sign something out of the corner my eye, and I glanced towards Dan for the translation.
“We have different views on sex. They think you should wait until marriage, but sex is great at any time.” He said.
I face-palmed and groaned lightly. “Are you kidding me? That’s why you guys are at war with each other? Because of your different views on sex? You’ve got to be fucking joking.”
