Based
Hello!
My name is Leo, and I have decided to share my autobiography with the world!
I should note though that it’s only based on my true story, and so if some of the details don’t match the historical record then just remember that I made it clear right here in the beginning of this book that it’s based on my true story and is not all necessarily accurate.
Anyhoo; where should I begin?…
Aha!
How about we begin with that time when I was sitting on a ladder and eating popcorn while watching a play that was happening.
I was having a grand old time, until an earthquake began to shake things up a bit!
That’s right!
My popcorn went flying!, and my ladder became very unsteady, and I was afraid that I was going to go crashing down to the ground!
And so I climbed down the ladder and fled! from the earthquake!, but the earthquake wasn’t only where the play was at; and so I was having a hard time running very quickly because the unsteady ground kept on shaking and shaking and shaking!…
Well, I did fall down eventually, but luckily I fell into a pool, and so I was able to just swim during the remainder of the earthquake.
Now, the water in the pool was certainly unsteady because of the earthquake (just like the soil was unsteady because of the earthquake), but unsteady water in a pool is a bit less of a problem than unsteady soil is, ya know?
Anyway, though; before long I was happy to discover that the earthquake had ended, and I quickly exited the pool; and that was when I met the lady of my dreams!
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the man of her dreams though; and so when I said, “It’s the lady of my dreams!
Would you like to go on a date, perhaps?…” she just chuckled and held up her hand to reveal a ring that was on her finger; and then she said, “I’m engaged, Romeo.
I appreciate your go-getter attitude, though!
I bet that if you keep on asking around then you’ll probably find a lady who’ll date you eventually.” and then I blushed and said, “Whoops!…
Thanks for being kind about my silly question…
I mean, I didn’t even think to check your finger to see if you had a ring!
Very silly of me…” and then she laughed merrily and said, “You’re fine, my friend, your fine.” and then another person showed up and said, “Hey babe!
I’m surprised that you’re not in the pool yet!” and then she said, “Oh, I was just talking to loverdude here who’s trying to find a girlfriend.” and then the man said, “Oh…
Hey, loverdude!
Ya know, Katy and I are going on a double date tomorrow, but there’s another friend of ours named Polly who wants to go but can’t find a date.
Maybe you could be her date (though just as friends, of course, since you don’t even know each other yet), and then we’d have a triple date!
Whaddaya say?…” and then I said, “That sounds good to me!
And I’m Leo, by the way.” and then the man said, “Nice to meet you! I’m Jay!” and then Katy said, “I’m gonna text Polly now and tell her that she can have Leo as her friend-date if she wants…
Just a sec…
…
And the text is now sent!” and then I said, “Thanks!
And so who are the other 2 people who’ll be there?” and then Jay said, “Their names are Bailey and Falcon!, and they aren’t engaged like Katy and I are; but they’ve been dating for like 3 years, and so they’re in pretty deep, ya know?” and then I said, “3 years is a long time, for sure!” and then Katy said, “I got a response from Polly!, and she says that she’s down for a friend-date with Leo so that we’ll have a triple date!
Woohoo!
And so all you’ve gotta do is show up at the buffet at 7pm tomorrow, and we’ll be good to go!” and then I said, “Awesome!
Though, just in case plans change, can I get a cell phone number from one of you?…” and then Jay said, “For sure!” and then Jay gave me his number, I gave him my number, and then I waved farewell to Jay and Katy and was very excited for the triple date that I would be attending the next day!…
