What is your opinion?
Dark and cool story!
"Already loved the male lead! He appears genuinely tormented, yet at his core, despite the darkness that surrounds him, he possesses a moral code that makes him complex and compelling. The action scenes are great."
“Loved This Story!”
"“A captivating story with a strong, well-structured plot and compelling characters. The author did a great job bringing the world and emotions to life. Highly recommended!”"
Peculiar work.
"Your narrative atmosphere is strong. I like how you build tension through internal conflict rather than action. The pacing feels deliberate0, which suits the theme. Keep going."
Very Good Story so Far!
"So let's start with the positives! I absolutely love the plot. The dynamics between the characters were not what I was expecting, and I was genuinely surprised. There is some strong dialogue in here, which really shows the emotions and inner turmoil the characters feel. However, some of the scenes ended a little too abruptly for me, and there were a few spelling and punctuation errors here and there. But overall, I like the story. Its very cool! "
Interesting Idea for the Story
"Let's start with the positives. The characters are interesting, and the story's idea is solid. I really wanted to like this story more. The idea is solid, and I really think this has a lot of solid potential and could use a solid edit to make it a strong story. What's losing me is that the names go from the numbers to their names, and I have to remember which numbers go with which names. Which is fine, but when an updated story comes up, I don't know which numbers go with which name, especially when it is not always there. The timeline of the story is all over the place, we start many of it in days ago in the thousands, which is interesting take, but it would make sense to put that in years ago to help the average reader know that was X years ago instead of trying to figure out how many years 1000 days ago was, because I has use Google and find out that 1000 days is about 2.7 years ago. It took me out of the story to figure out the time frame. I want to stay in the story at all times, not have to go back and figure out how many days there are in X amount of years. Grammar, this needs a solid grammar check. There are some massive grammar errors throughout the story, even in the names, where Emmily/Emily is misspelled. Maybe a quick spell check can help fix this, since this is a first draft, the second draft will probably be much stronger and help. I think the bones of the story are pretty strong and need a little more development to make it stronger. I like where it is going and think it has a lot of potential to be a great story. "
