Menagerie

Prologue

She had been standing at the counter of the coffee shop for a while, drumming her fingers on the dark wood counter top, the slow steady ticking of the wall clock the only sound audible over the piped in Muzak, thinking about her Economics project that was due the following week. They had been slow that evening, and all of her closing chores were finished, now she was trying to keep the boredom at bay until they closed in a half hour. The owner had left at five, leaving her alone in the shop, Thursdays were always slow. The wall clock continued to tick rhythmically counting down the minutes until she was free. She glanced up when the bell over the door rang. Her breath caught when she saw him, she hadn’t expected to see him again so soon, and when his amber colored eyes met hers, she gave him a big grin.

“You’re here.” She said with a bright smile, surprise in her voice.

He gave her a handsome grin of his own as he approached the counter to order a house coffee. “The old man let me off early. Besides, I have some research to do here over the weekend.” She poured it for him without him asking, she knew his order, it was the same every time, large black coffee, no lid. She offered it to him and he paid her, before moving to the end of the counter where the cream and sugar were kept in neat little containers. The shop was all but deserted, and for once she was glad for the quiet. She followed him to the end of the counter and he took her in his arms when they met.

“A bit dead tonight.” He said with a laugh. She nodded.

“Thursdays get this way this time of year.” She told him. “But that means you get my undivided attention. I didn’t expect to see you again for a while. Your visits are so sporadic.” She laughed good naturedly.

He smiled and kissed her gently. “You know I’d see you more often if I could.” He told her when he broke away.

“I’m beginning to think you’re married or something.” She said, with a lifted eyebrow.

“Oh Gods no, nothing like that.” He assured her with a laugh. “No, no, I work for my family. You know that much.” He told her, with a tilt of his head and a lift at the corner of his mouth. “The schedule is…random, at best. I’m doing research at the university, it’s the only reason we met at all. I was so lucky to bump into you at the library that day.” He said with a sigh. “I miss you when we are apart. Don’t pout.” He smiled before kissing her pouting mouth. “Why are you so cute?” He asked softly, before poking her cheek. She flushed deeply.

“I worry about you when you’re away.” She said biting the corner of her lower lip before chewing the inside of her mouth. He brushed her lip gently with his thumb, she blushed deeper and turned away from him quickly, going to pour herself a cup of coffee as well. She brought it back and they took up a table near the back, with a clear view of the door.

“I worry about you too.” He told her, his expression going serious. “I love you, more than I can tell you. I wish I could take you with me, but my work isn’t exactly the safest profession, and traveling as I do is no life for you. Once you finish university, we can talk about your plans, for now you’re much safer with your family. Besides, your sister needs you, she admires you.” He teased her. She laughed.

“Ginny’s three, she likes me because I give her juice, and let her watch TV. I take care of her and she understands that much, I doubt it’s more. I love her, I would miss her.” She said with a small smile.

“There is time, darling, for everything, and for us.” He smiled as he told her. She nodded but paused, she wasn’t certain there was.

“Of course I had to find the one vampire in all of New York to fall in love with.” She sighed. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I had that dream again.” She told him. “It just keeps getting more vivid. I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s just a dream Julie.” He told her. “I know it frightens you but it is just a dream. Please don’t let it trouble you so.” He said, as he reached to touch her face, gently brushing hair behind her ear as she leaned into him.

“It doesn’t feel like it. I know what dreams are, this is…not that. I’m going to die.” She told him very seriously. “I know I keep saying this, I know you’re tired of hearing it. I wish that I could just…” she sighed heavily, then continued. “I wish we could just spend time together like normal people, like a regular couple, but this dream or vision, or whatever it is, is hanging over me. Do you understand how terrible it is for me?” She asked, there was a note of anger in her voice.

“I’m sorry. I know it can’t be fun, seeing yourself die over and over, but my love, it’s just a dream, a terrible nightmare.” He told her gently, even though he believed her to be telling the truth.

“I wish you believed me.” She told him, staring into her cup. “I wish someone would believe me. It makes me feel crazy. I know that I’m going to die, and no one believes me, or wants to help me. I should have been called Cassandra.” She told him, her voice cracking as she held back tears. She had been fighting her emotions regarding her dream for months. She knew that one day, she would be going home, and someone would attack and kill her. She had no idea who or what, only that before she reached her twenty third year, she would be murdered. She was twenty, that left two and a half years at most.

“You’re not crazy, and I believe you when you say you’re afraid of this dream, but how are you sure it’s prophetic and not just your anxiety creeping up on you in your subconscious?” He asked gently. “I worry about you constantly. Your dream only makes me worry more. I do my best to protect you, but Julie,” he said looking into her eyes as he took her hand, “I can’t be here all the time. Being here puts you in even more danger. If you ever got hurt, it would end me.” He told her, reaching to touch her cheek. She sighed, gripping her coffee cup tightly.

“You have too much to do to die.” She told him, pulling away. “Besides, someone has to take care of my sister after all of this. I don’t think my father will handle my death well.” She told him, very practically. “I think my mother will probably spiral out of control, that will leave Ginny on her own. She’s pretty self sufficient, I’ve done the best I could to make her that, but…she’s just a baby.” She told him. “I need you to look after her.” Julie said, gripping his hand lightly. “Please, for me.”

He shook his head. “Yes. Of course.” He told her. “Since you’re not going to die, I don’t think making that promise will be a problem.” He told her, brushing a strawberry blonde curl from her face.

“I need a more binding promise from you.” She told him very seriously, her blue-green eyes boring into his amber ones. “I know you don’t think it’s necessary, but swear it? In blood? For me?” She asked. He took a deep breath, looking her in the eye, his hesitation apparent on his face.

“You know I don’t like that sort of thing, and what it means if I do? Don’t you?” He asked her. She nodded slowly.

“I’m willing to trade my blood for my sister’s safety. I’ll let you feed on me.” She told him. “I know you want to, I don’t know why you haven’t.” She told him, as he dropped her hand.

“Because it will hurt you.” He told her simply. “I never want to hurt you. You smell so sweet, and I never feel my hunger around you, I don’t think about blood when you’re near me. You have no idea how special that makes you.” He told her. “If you really want this, go lock the door.” He told her gently. She nodded then rose to lock the door and flip the open sign.

He took her hand when she came back, and she led him into a dark store room in the back. As soon as the door closed his hands were on her, and his mouth was devouring her in hot passionate kisses. She moaned into him as she returned his kiss; his fingers digging into her hair as she broke away and kissed his throat and chin. “I trust you.” She whispered as he took hold of her hair, pulling her head to the side. He gently licked her throat, before biting into her. She cried out as pain shot through her, then moaned softly as it eased and she pressed against him.

She gasped as he drew her blood into his mouth, savoring her sweet taste. Her hand went to his chest as he held her against him hard, his senses going wild as her blood coursed through him like fire, igniting every sense and tearing down any resolve he had ever had. He found himself pressing her against the wall, his knee sliding between hers as his hands moved over her, touching her more intimately than he ever had before. She whimpered and he pulled away gasping, as she went limp against him.

He pressed her hair from her face, as he slowly sank to the floor with her. “Julie, are you alright?” He asked. “I’m so sorry.” He told her as she whimpered and lifted her hand to her forehead. She nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry.” She told him softly, as she sat beside him trying to regain her thoughts and emotions. She had lost all control when he’d bitten her. She hadn’t wanted him to stop. She looked over at him suddenly, before climbing into his lap and kissing him soundly, the taste of her blood still lingered on his mouth, but it didn’t bother her. “Now, make the promise.” She told him when he broke the kiss. He nodded and kissed her back gently, his hands moving to her hips. He pulled away, and she kissed him again.

“You have to stop kissing me.” He told her softly. “I can’t concentrate with you…like...this.” He told her, a note of embarrassment in his voice. She nodded, and slid back to sit knee to knee with him. He took a deep breath, then lifted his wrist to his mouth and bit himself, before taking her wrist and doing the same. She gasped softly as his teeth drew blood a second time. She whimpered when he pressed his wrist to hers, a hot burning sensation flowing up her arm as their blood mingled. “As our blood flows together united, so shall my promise be fulfilled. Your sister will be my charge, should your life end.” He said, before pulling his wrist away from hers.

She looked down at her wrist, blood still seeped from the wound, but it was healing. His wrist still bled, she reached to touch him and he pulled away. “Don’t, not yet. I-I need a minute.” He told her, standing and pacing away. He wanted nothing more than to bury his teeth, and other parts inside her, and was struggling not to lose control. Her nearness was making it worse. After a moment he felt the rush of her gift, cocooning him in hungerlessness. It was a blessed relief and he turned back to her. “I’m sorry.” He told her, offering her his hand. She accepted and he pulled her to her feet.

“Come.” She told him. “I’ll wrap your wound.” She said, unsure what else she could offer. He followed her out of the store room and into a small office, where she retrieved a plastic box marked as a first aid kit. She opened it and removed a roll of gauze, before lifting his wrist in her hand and wrapping it gently. “Won’t it heal?” She asked as it continued to seep blood.

“Of course it will. It will just take some time. It was self-inflicted.” He told her. She nodded.

“I’d offer you more blood, but…” she trailed off, looking away.

“No. No, of course not. I probably took too much already.” He told her. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” He said as she replaced the box on the shelf, and they left the office. She closed the door and locked it.

“I just have to do a few things, and we can go.” She told him with a smile. She felt better than she had in a while, she was still bothered by her dream, but his promise of looking after her sister made it easier to live with her impending doom.

Once she had poured out the old coffee, and turned off the machine, she put the coffee pots in the dishwasher and shut it, pushing the button to make it run, she turned back. “Are you ready?” He asked. She nodded and he took her hand. They left the shop and she locked up behind them, before he walked her home. They were both quiet as they walked the six blocks to the train, he rode it with her, then walked her to the apartment she shared with her family.

“Shall I come up later?” He asked.

“I’d love to see you, I always want to spend time with you, but isn’t there some research you should be doing? Or some mission for your family that needs to be seen to?” She asked playfully, bumping her hip against his as they stood in front of the building.

“You are far more important to me than any business I could ever have.” He said, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her soundly. “All of that can wait until morning. I want to see you. Are you working this weekend? I want to take you somewhere.”

“I’m not working. Where are we going?” She asked with a small smile.

“I don’t know yet. Do you trust me?” He asked. She nodded. He took her face gently between his hands and kissed her sweetly. “I love you Juliet.”

“I know.” She told him, reaching to stroke her fingers over his cheek. “It’s coming soon. I can feel it. I’ve only got a couple of years, max… I know how you feel about this, and about me. I felt your true feelings when you fed from me, but you shouldn’t get attached to someone like me. I’ll die young, and I don’t think that can be changed.” She said ominously, her voice far away, her eyes unfocused. “I know it, so please don’t follow me.” She told him. “Keep your promise. She’ll need you, and I think…” she hesitated for a moment. “I think you’ll need her too,” she said as she suddenly focused on his face, her eyes meeting his, before she shifted and kissed him with a smile. “I have to go.” She told him, before pressing one last brief kiss to his mouth, then darting inside before he could speak again.

Chapter One

Ginavera Silvrye, or as she was known to those around her, Gin, stood at the ballet bar making firm, sweaty eye contact with herself in the mirror. She was struggling and tired, but she couldn’t stop. The pain couldn’t stop her, not right then, she was so close to making it through the day. She just had to push through the pain a little longer, then she could go home and ice her ankle. She heaved a sigh as the choreographer clapped and called everyone into places. Gin took a deep breath and smiled as she took up her position. She had been out on medical leave for four weeks, she had been surprised the company hadn’t recast her immediately, though she was a favorite of the company, and one of its darling faces, she knew she was highly replaceable, she also was aware that she was costing the company both time and money with her injury. A broken ankle could end her career, she had been warned that it was too soon to go back to work, but every day she sat on the couch was another day closer to them recasting her. She had been cast as the lead that spring, she couldn’t lose her role, she had worked for ten years to get to that point in her career. She had given up friendships, other activities, and certain foods, just to be able to keep up with her dream.

She let her breathe out slowly as the music began and she lifted onto her toes. She had been dancing en pointe since she was only six. She had thrown herself into dancing that year, it had been her sole focus, at six years old, Gin had made the decision that she would become a professional ballerina and had committed herself wholeheartedly to the idea. She had been driven ever since, committing herself to ballet; she had gotten help from a man in a coffee shop to apply for the New York Royale Ballet Academy that same year. They offered both practical education as well as an excellent education in dance, specifically ballet, and many of their dancers went on to join their company The New York Royale Ballet, as professional dancers, which Gin had done at the age of sixteen.

She was straining her ankle and she knew it. The doctor had told her she should stay off of it for several weeks, but Gin just couldn’t give up all that she had worked so hard to achieve. So she pushed herself, through the strain and the pain. She couldn’t let the ache or shooting pain stop her when she leapt, or spun. It was agonizing, and she fought to keep her face placid through it all. She was grateful when the choreographer called them to a stop.

“Mateo, what are you doing with your arms? Kelsey good form on your arabesque. Francine, your timing still needs work, but much improved. Gin, what face are you making?” He called to her. She looked up, startled.

“Sorry, Lenny.” She called back. He clapped his hands, shaking his head.

“Collette, see Mrs. Underwilde about your costume, please. Alright folks, that’s it for today, Gin stay, everyone else can go.” Lenny called, as everyone broke up. Several called goodbyes as they moved quickly to their bags so that they could leave. Gin went to her bag, changing out of her shoes, a bit nervous as to what Lenny wanted. The other dancers chatted with one another as they changed their shoes, and went about preparing to leave quickly, they all had the decency to wait until they left the room to gossip at least. A couple of her dance mates asked her to meet them after. She didn’t commit, and everyone else left.

“Your ankle is still bothering you, isn’t it?” Lenny asked when they were alone. Gin hesitated, shaking her head. “I can tell. If you push now, you’ll end your career.” He warned her. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but taking time now to heal, and passing up this opportunity might save your career, if that is what you want.” He said gently.

“You know it is, but if I drop out now, they will remember that, every time they cast.” Gin protested.

“You’re seventeen, you have time to take a break now. Give yourself time to heal. I mean it.” Lenny said as he came closer. “I know you want this more than anything, but is it worth permanently crippling yourself?” He asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

“It’s worth everything I have.” She told him desperately. “This is my first big break, I can’t blow it, over slipping down a flight of stairs.”

“Your career? As a whole, are you willing to risk that? This might be your first big role, and your last, sugarplum.” Lenny looked her in the eye with seriousness he didn’t normally possess. “If you keep going, like this, that’ll be the case. Take some time. A few months isn’t going to destroy all you’ve worked for. They will recast you,” he said before shrugging awkwardly, “sure, next spring, but you’ll come back and do even better.” Lenny assured her.

“I just can’t risk that.” Gin said, fighting tears. “Lenny, I’ve worked so hard for this, if I leave now, they’ll think I quit.”

“I can’t convince you to take some time off then?” Lenny asked softly.

“No, I can’t quit.” Gin told him.

“I was really hoping you would take my advice.” Lenny told her sadly. “Gin, I’m really sorry about this, but you’re fired.” Lenny told her. Gin looked at him agape.

“Fired?” She cried, stepping back from him. Lenny gave her a sad but resolute look. “You can’t fire me!” She cried indignantly. Lenny sighed and crossed his arms.

“I talked to David and Whitney this morning…so,” he sighed deeply, “I can, and I’m sorry I have to, you’re one of my best dancers. You have such passion, but if I allow you to continue on this path, you might never dance again. Your injury is severe, I can see you struggling, I am a teacher as much as a professional. This isn’t the end of your world, Ginavera. The Royale has an eighteen month freeze on rehire. I hope you’ll take the time to heal, and access what’s really important to you. Come back then.” He told her gently.

“That’s more than a year. What am I supposed to do for fourteen months?” She asked in confusion. “I gave you ten years of my life, how can you do this to me?”

“Whatever you’d like dear. Take some time for yourself, read some books, watch movies, find friends, it’s a big world out there, sugarplum.” He told her. “You’re young, now is when you should be doing those things. Once you’re healed maybe you’ll find a better company. Your no competition clause ends after six months.”

“This is the end.” She told him in despair. “I worked so hard for nothing.”

“This isn’t the end of the world. Gin you’re destined for great things. I just know it.” Lenny told her seriously. Gin didn’t hear anything after that, as her world collapsed in on her.

She didn’t remember leaving the studio, or the mild March chill. She couldn’t have said if she stood or sat on the subway, or how she got to her apartment door. When she reached the apartment, it was dark, and she was alone, her mother shut away in her room. Gin threw herself onto her bed, and cried.

That had been three months before. The company had fired her, her dream of being a professional ballerina was over, at least in her mind. A year and a half was an eternity for a dancer not to work. She was angry and hurt, and depressed. She had laid on the couch for a week doing nothing, but eating snacks and flipping through the YouTube channels. It had irritated her mother Anna who was used to having the house to herself most of the time. Eventually, Anna had grown tired of Gin’s behavior and decided they should leave the city of New York. Anna had not felt safe in New York for several years, and thought perhaps that given Gin was no longer dancing, they could move to a quieter, smaller town, further north. Gin had put up little resistance in her overly emotional state. She had sat in the Jeep, her mom had bought used just before they left the city, while Anna had loaded all their lives onto a truck. Gin had packed the Jeep with their necessities. She had felt numb all the while, numb and anxious, but she had agreed.

Now they were on their way to Fort Henry, Maine, a quaint little town on the south side of the Saint Johns River, just a five minute drive from Canada. Anna had found them a small house and was excited to be leaving the bustling city life behind. She had been anxious for a long time, but the open road and a rural, small town life appealed to her. Anna had found herself having a hard time staying in such a dangerous place. What had once been a sparkling place of unrivaled opportunity, had destroyed every part of her happiness and life. She had only stayed so long because Gin had been so adamant about pursuing her dreams, and it was the only thing Anna felt she could give her daughter. She knew she had not been a good mother to Gin, that she had neglected her in many ways due to her own grief and depression. She provided a comfortable life for Gin, but she had not been there for her, and had at times even been an adversary to her dreams.

Anna had seen what the city could do to a person, and she had been terrified for Gin, she wanted nothing but to keep her safe, but Gin seemed bent on doing as she wished. She was stubborn, and strong willed, she did not bend easily to Anna’s desires, and Anna found it too taxing to make demands of her daughter, she knew Gin struggled just as she did, but to Anna’s dismay, she could not be the adult Gin needed, nor did she want to be. So Gin had spent eleven years raising herself. Anna had tried, but failed her child in many ways, ones she was aware of, but had no hope of rectifying.

“Ginny, do you think you’d like to enroll in a few college courses?” Anna asked as they passed a moose crossing sign on the side of the road.

“Anna, we talked about this. The only thing I plan to do is find a job, and sleep.” She pouted.

“Gin, you’re seventeen, you’re too young for your life to be over.” Anna quipped.

“You’re really happy about this, aren’t you?” Gin accused her softly.

“I’m happy to be leaving New York, yes. I’m not happy that you have given up on your dream.” She replied. “You know how anxious I was there. I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders already.” Anna said with a warm smile. “This can be a fresh start for us. This doesn’t have to be the end. You could make some friends, you can eat what you like now, read what you like, spend time doing what you like. When’s the last time you just went for a walk or a run without pushing yourself?” Anna asked her. Gin rolled her eyes and sighed. Anna knew Gin had a habit of running each day, it helped to keep her in shape for dancing, as well as gave her time to clear her head.

“Anna, I don’t know what I want to do. Getting fired wasn’t exactly in my list of plans. My only focus for the last two years has been making lead at the ballet, now I have nothing to focus on. I finished school at fifteen, I don’t have any real friends, and now I’m moving to a place I know nothing about. What am I supposed to do? You left your job so easily… I’m not like you.” Gin said with a sigh. “I can’t just pretend nothing ever happens.”

“I don’t pretend nothing ever happens, I just know everything is in the hands of fate, and I can do little to influence that.” Anna said snidely, before turning the music up, refusing to talk any more. Gin stared out the window as the scenery passed by, the sounds of light rhythmic drumming filling the car, neither woman wanted to talk anymore. Nothing was ever solved between them, not with talking, and not with silence, but the silence was preferable to Gin.

Two hours later Anna pulled her beat up green Jeep Wrangler into the driveway of a small white house that sat on a lot across from the river. It was getting close to dusk, and there was a woman pulling a ‘for rent’ sign out of the front window of the house. She came out to greet them as they left the Jeep.

“Hello!” She called as she came closer. “I’m Kelly Brown, you must be Anna and Gin.” She said with a warm smile for them both. “Welcome to Maine. I hope you had a nice drive. Come on in and I’ll give you a tour.”

“Hi Kelly.” Anna answered. “I’d love that. Come on Gin.” Anna said as she followed Kelly into the house. Gin sighed, retrieved the cat carrier from the back seat, and followed behind them. They had stopped in the mudroom.

“We just had this part of the house enclosed, it will be great when it snows.” Kelly was telling Anna as she unlocked the front door and let them inside. Kelly took notice of the cat crate but said nothing. “The thermostat is a little bit touchy, but the furnace works really well in the winter. There’s a great view of the river from the living room, and back this way is the kitchen.” Kelly said as she led Anna to the back side of the house via a narrow hall. “I made a couple of casseroles and stuck them in the freezer and there’s a few staples as well as some dishes, flatware, and a couple of pots and pans in the cupboard if you need them.” Gin was only half listening to the women in the kitchen as she took the stairs to the second floor. There was a bathroom at the top of the stairs.

Only one bathroom? Gin thought with a disappointed sigh, it was a downgrade from their New York apartment, but the whole living situation was a downgrade. The house was small and old, where their apartment in the city had been renovated recently and had much more open floor space. The apartment had also been a three bedroom. There were two rooms in this house, one to the left and one to the right, with what Gin assumed was a closet at the end of the hall. She looked in the one on the right, opening the closet and shutting it, before going into the other room. It was the same size, with a closet as well. She turned in a circle, before setting the crate down on the floor.

“Gin, are you up there?” She heard Anna call, before there were feet on the steps.

“I want this room.” Gin told Anna, sticking her head out of the room, as she and Kelly reached the top of the stairs. “There’s a window in here that I think Guildenstern would like.”

“Guildenstern?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah, Guildy, my bearded dragon. The ad said pets under fifteen pounds were acceptable.” Gin said as she came out of the room.

“A lizard?” Kelly asked for clarification.

“Yes, he’s quite pretty, would you like to see him?” Gin asked.

“No!” Kelly replied a bit too quickly. “I mean, no thank you. I’m sure it’s lovely, but I don’t do non-furry pets.” Kelly admitted sheepishly. Gin gave her a grin.

“Guildy is a sweetie, but I understand. He lives in a tank most of the time, but he loves to cuddle.” Gin told Kelly.

“That sounds both awful and fascinating.” Kelly admitted. “I think you would get along with my son, Jack.” Kelly told her with a small smile. “Speaking of which, my sons should be over tomorrow to fix the shudder on the back of the house. There’s a loose one on the back window of the room you chose, Gin. It came loose in a storm recently, and we haven’t had a chance to get it fixed. If you hear banging, it’s the shutter. The boys will be by to fix it, I promise.” Kelly assured them. “Now there isn’t a washer or dryer here, but Dana’s Washateria is right down the street, and it has pretty decent prices, but if you find them too steep, you can always go over the bridge. Edmonston often has better deals, they are the start of the line, while we’re the end.” Kelly explained. “Well, I should be heading home, don’t want to be a nuisance. Rent is due on the fifth each month. You can mail it or I can drop by to pick it up. If you need absolutely anything in the meantime, my number is on the fridge. Oh, the faucet in the kitchen sticks sometimes, give the knob a little wiggle and it should work okay. I’ll have the boys come look at it for you if it gives you too much trouble. Anything else, just let me know, it was great meeting you both.” Kelly said as she moved toward the door.

“I was wondering, before you go…” Gin said as Kelly moved into the mudroom, Kelly paused, giving Gin her attention. “Is there anywhere in town hiring?”

“Ah, maybe. The grocery store I think might be, the diner was last I saw, and if neither of those work out, the potato fields are always hiring for pickers though that’s in the fall, and it’s tough work.” She said with a small smile. “School ended a month ago, most of the summer jobs were scooped up then.” Kelly warned. “Let me know if you need anything else. Good luck on the job hunt, Gin.” Kelly told her, before waving and heading out. Gin followed her out to retrieve her suitcase and the plastic tub, filled with Guildenstern’s necessities, from the Jeep. Anna came out to help her, and together they moved the few boxes that fit in the Jeep, into the house, as Kelly pulled away.

“The moving truck will be here tomorrow morning. Do you want to go find a place to eat? Or is peanut butter and jelly okay with you?” Anna asked once everything was inside.

“I can’t have the bread…” Gin paused. “And the jelly is all sugar…” Gin stopped considering what she’d been about to say. “Let’s have that.” She said with a grin, even as a wash of anger rushed over her. She pressed it down, her ankle was healing, but her feelings of failure and betrayal were not. She chose to focus on the future just then instead. She could eat anything she liked. “Do you think there’s a fried chicken place anywhere nearby? We should have asked Kelly.” Gin laughed.

“Eww.” Anna said softly. “Those poor birds.”

“Sorry.” Gin said as she and Anna went into the kitchen. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Gin said with a soft sigh.

“I know you still eat meat. I just don’t like to think about the animals our food was. It’s disturbing.” Anna said with a small grimace. There were lots of things Anna preferred not to think about, or talk about. Gin nodded.

“Strawberry or grape?” Gin asked as she went to the pantry and opened it, finding both crunchy and creamy peanut butter and grape jelly and strawberry jam. “Kelly was quite generous.”

“Are they both jelly?” Anna asked as she retrieved bread from a deep but narrow table beside the fridge.

“Grape jelly, strawberry jam.” Gin said, grabbing the jam, as Anna replied.

“Jam please.” Gin turned back with both jars of peanut butter, and the jam. Anna was sitting at the table with plates and flatware, alongside the loaf of white bread. She brought them to the table and sat with her mother.

“Kelly seemed pretty friendly. Is that normal?” Gin asked as Anna gave her a plate and bread.

“I’m not sure, but not everywhere is all ‘watch it lady’ and people trying to steal your watch on the subway. Some places aren’t dangerous to live. Some people are just nice people. I think this might be one of those places.” Anna said with a hopeful sigh.

“I never thought New York was all that dangerous.” Gin said with a small shrug. “Just that the people kept to themselves.”

“Honestly, I’m glad you never felt that.” Anna told her looking stricken for a moment before it passed. “I felt like I was suffocating.” They fell silent after that as they each made a sandwich. They ate quietly, it was their usual comfortable uncomfortable silence. Gin was used to it.

“I’m going to look for a job tomorrow.” Gin told Anna as she finished a second sandwich.

“Alright. The movers will be here by noon. You labeled all of your boxes, right?” Anna verified.

“I did.” Gin replied as she stood and went to put her paper plate and the plastic knife she’d used in the trash.

“I’ll have your boxes put in your room. Everything else, the movers will handle. Gods know I paid them enough.” Anna said with a sigh. “I hope your search goes well.” Anna said as Gin turned back toward her yawning. “I can take care of this. Why don’t you head up?” Gin nodded.

“Will you set up the hot spot? I want to watch Clerks.” Gin asked.

“Yes. I’ll do it now. Goodnight.” Anna said as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

“Good night, Anna.” Gin said before heading upstairs. She went into her room and checked on Guildenstern. He seemed content, so she went about setting up the air mattress Anna had bought just before leaving New York. Gin sat beside it on the floor as it slowly filled, the whirring hum of the electric pump the only noise. She looked around the room, trying to imagine her life fitting inside.

While Gin had not spent much time at home, her bedroom had been filled with her things. Flowers from recitals, pictures of shows, cards from admirers, and pointe shoes, so many pairs of pointe shoes. She only saved her opening night pair, it would be ridiculous to save them all, they were destroyed anyway, but they had been mementos of her progression. She wondered what she would do with them now. They had been a reminder each day of what she was doing. She absently rubbed the pair of silver ballet slippers that hung from a chain around her neck, a subconscious habit. She dropped them as the pump started to make a high pitched whine, and Gin jumped to shut it off, startled out of her reveries.

Once she’d made her bed, she unpacked the small number of things she’d brought along in a box. A lamp, a photo, a notebook, and her tablet and chargers. When she had her things set up, she climbed into bed, and turned on her tablet. She chose the streaming service she always used to watch Kevin Smith’s Clerks. She loved that it was in black and white, it put her at ease. She also related to the characters in some ways. She held a deep understanding of Randal’s confusion of how Dante always seemed to do just fine. It had been a movie her older sister had watched. That had sparked her interest. She wanted to know everything about her, and Gin often wondered if she had laughed at the same parts. She fell asleep watching the movie, as she often did, thinking about Julie.

The following morning Gin was up early. She had been an early riser most of her life, having lived by the same routine for the last eleven years. Her routine had very little variation from week to week, it was a steady ritual Gin relied on. At five am she would get up and eat half a banana and chug a protein shake, then it was a run, followed by a shower and changing into her ballet clothes, before she would take the subway to the studio. She spent most of her day either in class practicing, or rehearsing. At noon she would break and have lunch, usually a lettuce salad with avocado and tomato, a small amount of fat free cottage cheese, and a grilled chicken breast, if she was extra hungry she would have a snack of carrots and hummus later in the day and another protein shake. After lunch she would often spend time with Lenny and the other choreographers working on new routines or teaching the younger dancers. She enjoyed helping the small ones learn ballet. She found them cute and enjoyed their unjaded view of the dance studio, untouched by politics and favoritism. After her own classes she spent the rest of her evening rehearsing, before taking the subway home. She often ate two boiled eggs as salad on a slice of whole grain toast with lettuce, or unsweetened peanut butter with the other half of her banana from that morning with fat free yogurt, granola, and honey. Gin was aware that her eating had been disordered, but she did not have an eating disorder. Unfortunately her eating habits had been a sacrifice for her craft, one she had been willing to make. Her diet had been strict, but to her mind necessary. Now that it was no longer necessary, Gin was excited to eat the things she had denied herself during her career.

She went to the bathroom and washed her face. She brushed her teeth, then her hair and pulled it into a high ponytail, before giving herself a test smile in the mirror. She shook her head and went down to the kitchen. She found eggs, cheese and ham in the refrigerator. She made herself a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich for breakfast, before eating it over the sink, then cleaning up her mess. After that she went back up to her room to find something suitable to wear. Most of her clothes were perfect for dancing, but she didn’t think they were suitable for an interview. She sighed, she was only putting in applications, she didn’t have to be fancy, she reasoned with herself. She chose a pair of leggings and a dress that fell just above her mid thigh. She chose sneakers and tugged them on quickly, before going back to the bathroom. She lined her eyes in black kohl and added a coat of mascara, before trying another test smile, then gave up. Gin had never worn much makeup outside of shows, she found it felt heavy on her face, and she didn’t think she needed it much. When she finished she turned abruptly and went back to her room, grabbing her shoulder bag. She also picked up her notebook, her head phones, and a few pens, shoving them in her bag as she went. It was almost nine by the time she was ready to go, but Anna was still sleeping. Gin sighed, but moved down the stairs quietly and out the front door.

Gin began walking the three quarters of a mile into the small town. She reached the grocery store first. They said they had filled the positions for the summer, but took her application anyway. She thanked them and moved on to the main strip of town. There was a bookstore that caught her interest. She went in to look around, but she knew it was only a distraction.

Gin was surprised that the moment she stepped through the door, she was at ease. The light scent of lavender incense hung in the air, while glass shelves of crystals and books lined the walls. There was a black cat sleeping in the front display window, seeming completely undisturbed by the soft music playing. She hadn’t known what to expect when she had walked in, but the calm atmosphere was unlike anything she had experienced before.

A young woman with pink and black hair and a nose ring sat on a stool behind a counter. She seemed to be engrossed in whatever she was working on, and hadn’t noticed Gin come in. Gin wandered the store for several minutes, unwilling to bother the young woman. There were several old looking books behind the counter, along with pouches of things Gin couldn’t readily identify, as well as herbs and stones of different types. In the case below where the woman sat were several pieces of jewelry. Gin didn’t want to disturb the woman, so she stayed near the front of the shop, browsing the books there. Many had to do with magic, but spelled with a ‘k’ or other such pagan craft. Gin had never been religious or very spiritual, but Anna had bought into such things. Anna often spoke about fate, or the Gods, Gin couldn’t really understand Anna’s fascination with the occult, but she did understand that people grieved in different ways.

Gin didn’t find anything in the shop she couldn’t pass up and left quietly the way she’d come, the young woman at the back still absorbed in her work, never seemed to notice her. Gin moved down the sidewalk a few doors, until she reached Hasting’s Diner. She stepped around the corral bar and went in through the swinging glass door. It was empty, and Gin had a sudden sensation of unease. She stepped forward, coming into the restaurant fully. As she did, a woman in a fifties style uniform came from the kitchen through a swinging door. Gin took a startled breath. The young woman was extremely pretty. She made Gin feel all at once inadequate. The woman was diminutive in size, with red hair and eyes the color of warm amber. She gave Gin a bright smile and came toward her. The girl wore her hair up in a messy bun, small dark red curls popping free around her face gave her a soft look, her wind chime earrings tinkled as she moved.

“Hi, come on in. Is it just you?” The girl asked as she looked Gin over, then smiled. Gin nodded.

“Yes. Actually, I saw your Help Wanted sign. I was hoping to apply.” She replied. The girl paused and smiled.

“Of course you are. That’s no problem. I’m Liz, by the way. Come have a seat and I’ll get the form for you.” She said, motioning Gin to the counter, before disappearing into the back. Gin took up a stool at the counter and waited for Liz to return. She was a bit nervous and was trying to calm herself down. She didn’t really understand why she was suddenly so on edge, but she was almost vibrating with her anxious energy. She jumped when Liz set a sheet of paper beside her.

“You scared me!” Gin cried, clutching her chest lightly.

“Oh, no. I’m sorry. I’m told I walk too quietly sometimes. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Liz said as she leaned on the counter beside Gin. “If you fill out that form, I can have the owner look over it today.”

“Yeah, of course. Thank you so much.” Gin said as she dug into her bag and pulled out a pen to begin filling in the form. Liz lingered for just a moment as though she wanted to say something, but seemed to change her mind and moved away after a moment. Gin was absorbed with filling out the application, she was nervous about giving incorrect information, though her job history was limited. She worried ‘ballerina’ wouldn’t be enough to earn her a job as a waitress. She sat staring at the paper for a long time after she finished filling it in, hesitant to return it. Finally she took a deep breath and left the counter to find Liz rolling flatware at a table near the back.

“All finished?” Liz asked with a happy smile. Gin nodded and offered her the paper. Liz took it, looked it over briefly, then grinned. “Can you hang out for a few minutes? I’ll go talk to the owner and see about setting up an interview.” Liz told Gin.

“Really? That would be awesome.” Gin replied happily.

“Yeah, it’s no problem. I’ll be back in a minute.” Liz said, before moving away, muttering to herself. Gin didn’t hear what she said, and shrugged it off, before taking up the seat at the counter again. A moment later a very large man was taking up the pick up window looking out at Gin. Her breath caught at the predatory way he glared at her, his crystal blue eyes boring into her.

“Ya orderin’ uh just takin up counta space?” He demanded in a deep New Jersey drawl.

“I’m sorry!” Gin cried suddenly overwhelmed by her anxiety. She stood quickly as she backed away from the counter. Just as she did Liz came up beside her.

“Daniel!” she called to him in admonishment, as he ducked back into the kitchen to man the grill. “Sorry about him. You can feel free to ignore him, he can be a little overbearing, but he’s a teddy bear, I promise.” Liz told her. “The owner said to do your interview and find out what size uniform you wear.” Liz said with a sweet smile as she led Gin to a booth nearby.

“Oh! Alright.” Gin said as she and Liz sat across from one another.

“Ginavera, was it?” Liz asked.

“Yes, or just Gin…Ginny if we’re friendly.” She replied, she was still on edge. She hadn’t been prepared for an interview and was babbling.

“It looks like you can work anytime?” Liz asked for verification. Gin nodded.

“Yes. I just moved here, so I don’t have a lot of other demands on my time just yet.” Gin replied.

“Your app says you worked for a ballet company in New York, have you ever waited tables before?” Liz asked with curiosity.

“I did, yes, but I’ve never waited tables. I’m a quick learner though, and I do well under pressure. I’m also pretty good at juggling responsibilities.” She told Liz hopefully.

“You have the job, Gin. Don’t stress. I’m only asking a few questions to get to know you better.” Liz explained.

“What? Really?” Gin asked in excitement. Liz nodded.

“Yes. The owner seemed to be expecting you to apply. He said to hire you if you came in.” Liz explained. Gin’s mouth contracted into a sudden o shape.

“The owner knew I was coming?” She asked. Liz tilted her head with a shrug.

“It’s a small town. I’m sure Mrs. Brown told him when she rented out her house, she’s well meaning but a bit of a gossip. Besides, Erik has been looking for someone for a while. None of the folks from town have worked out. I think him being mayor makes people leery of working for him.” Liz explained. “He’s probably hoping fresh blood might help.”

“Oh, I understand. That makes sense.” Gin replied, taking in what she’d been told. She looked around then noticed there weren’t any people in the diner. “You guys seem pretty dead.”

“Oh yeah, we’re between rushes. We’ll pick up in about half an hour. We’re closed Mondays, and Tuesdays are usually slow in the morning, but we rock it at night. I don’t think I’ve ever left a night shift with less than a bill in my pocket. We’re pretty popular, especially during the summer and on weekends. I mean weekends we’re busy all day long. Are you sure you want to work here? It’s hard work and can be pretty thankless.” Liz warned.

“I just need a job.” Gin replied. “I’m willing to do a lot of things. I need work, something to keep me busy.” Gin stopped herself before she said too much.

“No worries at all. If you want it, the job is yours. Can you tell me what size dress you wear?” Liz asked as she looked Gin over. She was tall and lithe, she had the body of a dancer, with long legs and willowy arms and not much bust or hips. She was athletic and well formed. Liz was a bit envious of her, she had a pretty face and bright eyes. Liz was caught off guard by the silver dart that marred her left blue green eye. It was startling when she noticed, but did not take anything from her beauty, if anything Liz felt it added to her mystery. Gin flushed under her scrutiny.

“A size two, or maybe a three, I’ve put on a bit of weight the last few months.” Gin admitted sheepishly.

“You look fantastic.” Liz told her with a kind smile, the slightest note of envy in her voice. “Can you be here at two tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes, of course! Thank you, really, so very much.” Gin told Liz as they both stood.

“You’re welcome. Get home safely, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Liz said before picking up Gin’s application and taking it with her into the back. Gin nodded to herself, then as she moved toward the door, dug into her bag. She pulled her headphones out and plugged them into her phone, as she went out the door. She wasn’t paying attention to where she was going, she was focused on finding just the right song for the moment. She was startled when, as she rounded the corral out front, she slammed into a hard brick wall, falling backward onto the sidewalk.

“Ooof!” She cried out as she landed on her back, the air knocked out of her. She groaned as she shifted to sit up. She lifted her hand to shade her eyes, trying to understand what or rather who she’d just slammed into.

“Are you alright?” An irritated voice asked, before she felt a hand on her arm, gently lifting her to her feet. “Do you walk much, or are you just practicing?” He asked her condescendingly.

Gin pulled her arm away quickly. “Jesus, are all the guys here assholes?” She shot back.

“Look kid, you ran into me. You could at least apologize, and watch where you’re going. ” The young man said. Gin paused as she actually saw him. He was very good looking, and somehow familiar, but in that moment he had the most punchable face she had ever seen.

“Why should I apologize? You knocked me down.” Gin countered.

“It wouldn’t have happened if you had been paying attention. Is that such a hard thing to do? Are you trying to hurt yourself and others? Or do you enjoy running people over?” The man asked, his tone was meant to provoke her, and it did.

“Oh, my bad. Sorry, asshole.” She said shortly, then turned on her heel and walked away quickly. She moved down the sidewalk at a swift walk that broke into a jog that became a run. She was suddenly in a panic. She knew he wasn’t following her, and she hadn’t actually meant to get into a confrontation, but the way he had been so condescending had hurt her pride. She hadn’t meant to bump into him, and he had knocked her down, then his demand for an apology had been a bit too much. She knew better than to talk back to strangers, but he had provoked her, intentionally. She ran faster, fear surging through her. Men were dangerous, she knew that, and while she had never had any real fear of men, that man had caused her to feel something. She couldn’t name the emotion, but it felt primal. The only thing drawing her out of her panic was the mild pain that shot up her leg with each step as her feet hit the pavement. Her ankle was still bothering her, but she refused to stop running, urged on by her panic.

She was shaking and panting when she reached her driveway, her adrenaline was high and she was struggling to bring herself back down. She stomped down on her haywire emotions when she saw her mother and two men come out of the house, and she noticed the moving truck pulled into the drive. The men moved quickly to begin unloading their things, and Gin did her best to stay out of the way. She was relieved her mother had been distracted, Gin wasn’t sure she could handle Anna asking too many questions just then.

Gin helped move some of her things into the house before taking her boxes up to her room to begin unpacking, while Anna managed the lower floor. Gin went about unpacking boxes and setting up her room. It took her most of the day, but by evening she had her bed and desk set up, as well as Guildenstern’s habitat. The room was beginning to feel like her own, but her discomfort over her encounter earlier in the day stayed with her. It made her nervous, but she tried to put it aside, he hadn’t followed her, or even done more than be a jerk, she tried to stop thinking about him as she went down to dinner.