Best Behavior
As I had hoped, my daddy was waiting for me when I got home from school.
My daddy is an important guy, and I know that his work keeps him really busy, but sometimes I really need him, you know? And while my housekeeper says he cares more about his clients than me, the fact that he left the office to be there for me when I got suspended just proves how wrong she is.
I set down my backpack, and then I put on my best I’m sorry face as I made my way into his study. As usual, he was on the phone, but the moment he saw me, he told the person on the other end that he’d call them back later. See? Even more proof that I mattered more than his clients.
“Daddy, before you say anything, I want you to know I’m really, really sorry,” I said.
“Oh, Sweet Pea, what am I going to do with you? This is a real fucking mess you got yourself into,” said my dad with a little sigh.
“I know. It won’t happen again,” I said, keeping my eyes lowered.
“Won’t happen again?” snorted my dad. “I hope not. For Christ’s sake, Carlie, the principal wants to kick you out! I had to talk that son of a bitch down from a ledge just to agree on giving you a week’s suspension.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” I said, using my meekest and most submissive voice.
“I just don’t understand how these things keep happening,” said my dad, sliding his hands into his pockets and pacing back and forth behind his desk. “First, the thing with the buttons on your shirt popping off, and now this? How does one even... I just don’t get it. I really don’t.”
“I don’t know, Daddy,” I said with a little shake of my head. “It’s like something comes over me. I try to control it, but I just... I don’t know how. There’s just something wrong with me.”
“Nonsense!” thundered my dad, taking a seat in his big leather chair and opening one of the drawers in his desk. “You’re a Mapleton, and there’s nothing wrong with this family. Hmm, where is it? Ah, yes. Dr. Karl Jungstadler. Christ, what a name, eh? Supposed to be the best shrink in the state.”
“A... a psychologist?” I said, my pulse racing.
“Do you understand what’s at stake here?” said my dad, turning the business card over in his hand. “That stupid principal wanted to expel you after I personally organized the fundraiser this year for that fucking school. That is simply unacceptable.”
“Oh,” I said, trying not to show how excited I was, but I always get fired up when my daddy goes on the war path.
The senior partner at his law firm once told me at a Christmas party that my daddy is like Genghis Khan when he gets going, mowing down his enemies without mercy.
“We just need to show that horse’s ass that you’ve got some kind of medical condition,” said my dad, tapping the psychologist guy’s business card on the surface of his desk. “Yes, that way the Americans with Disabilities Act kicks in. It’s perfect. Expelling you would be a violation of your civil rights. Fucking idiot wants to mess with me? Well, he’s got another thing coming.”
“Ah,” I said, although I had no idea what my daddy was talking about. All I knew was that he was going to protect me, and that made my heart swell with love.
“This Youngsettler... Jungstadler fellow has a stack of credentials as long as my arm,” said my dad, leaning back in his chair and folding his fingers together. “He’s the biggest gun in the business. One good diagnosis from him, and we’ll blow that pencil-chewing bastard out of the water. Okay, you run along now, baby girl. Daddy’s got some work to do.”
“Okay,” I said, keeping my head bowed. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“And, uh, stay in the house, all right?” said my dad. “And keep your damned clothes on. I’ll fix this, Sweet Pea, but until then, I need you on your best behavior.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” I said. “I will.”
“Good,” said my dad, stretching his arms wide. “Now come here and give me a kiss.”
Squealing with happiness, I sprang from my chair and ran over to him, throwing myself into those big, strong arms of his.
For a brief moment, I was in heaven, feeling like I was a little girl all over again as his hands wrapped around me, keeping me safe from all the bad things that are out there in this world.
“All right, all right, that’s enough,” said my dad, pretending to be gruff when I knew that he was secretly happy to have me sit on his lap again like old times.
I then stood up, pulled down my skirt, and bounced out of his study, ecstatic that my all-powerful daddy was on the case. I didn’t quite know what he wanted me to do with that psychologist guy with the funny name, but whatever it was, he was going to fix everything.
I was going to march back into that school with the biggest grin on my face. They thought they could get rid of me? Ha! They didn’t know who they were messing with. Everyone wanted to judge me and put me down.
Well, I was going to show them and show them good.
