Testing
Hello!…
My name is Saw, and I am a saw!…
Now you probably didn’t realize that saws could talk, but that’s fine.
See, I’m only a saw because I used to be a human named Saw but then I ate some food and said that I didn’t like it and then the creator of the food did some magic that turned me into a saw.
Apparently I should’ve lied and said that I liked the food…
Whatever…
Or I guess I could’ve just not said what my opinion about the food was…
Or I could’ve said that it was interesting or something so that it might’ve come across as positive even though interesting can be positive, negative, or neutral.
But, anyhoo; now I’m a living saw, and I guess it’s not all bad because at least I can defend myself!…
I still want to return to being human though, and so if I run into anyone who can do magic then I’m gonna ask them to please return me to my human form…
But until I can return to my human form I’m not going to hide in shame or anything, despite the fact that some folks might feel nervous about me!…
Like; this one time I went into a coffee shop and asked for some coffee, and then the worker screamed! and told everyone that there was a weapon in the coffee shop!…
Then someone said, “You talking about my gun?…” and then he pulled out the gun and a bunch of other people in the coffee shop began admiring the gun.
But then the worker said, “Didn’t you see the “No Guns or Other Weapons!…” sign on the door!?!” and then another person said, “Oh, I thought that that sign was talking about THESE guns!…” and then he flexed his muscles, and then a woman said that he had nice muscle guns and that she was down to go on a date with him if he wanted to go on a date with her; and then the man said, “Eh, I guess a date is fine…
Though I still want to know whether these guns are allowed in this coffee shop or not…” and then a worker rolled his eyes and said that the sign wasn’t talking about muscle guns; and then he also added that the person who had the bullet-shooting gun needed to leave the coffee shop and that the saw-person needed to leave the coffee shop too.
“Saw-person?…” one customer said in a confused tone of voice; and then I said, “Oh!, that must mean me!…
Though I would argue that I’m more like that guy who has the muscle guns than I am like the guy who has the bullet-shooting gun; because this is just my body, just like the muscle guns are just a part of that person’s body!…” and then a worker scratched his head and said, “Hmmm…
I suppose that there might be a gray area there…
And so I’ll go and get the manager…
Everyone stay where you are!; except for the person with the bullet-shooting gun, because we know for sure that the bullet-shooting gun is not allowed in here…” and then the person with the bullet-shooting gun exited the coffee shop and the worker went to go and get the manager…
Then, before long; the manager arrived, and the manager took a look at the man who was flexing his muscles and took a look at me; and then the manager said, “The person with the muscle guns can stay in this coffee shop, but I’m gonna have to go and find the boss to determine whether the saw-person is allowed to be here…” and then the manager went off to go and find the boss; and then the boss soon entered into the coffee shop, and it turned out that the boss was the same person who’d been in the coffee shop with the bullet-shooting gun just a little while ago!…
One person noticed this, and she said, “Why were you breaking your own rules a little while ago?…” and then the boss said, “Eh, I was just testing y’all…
And ya passed the test!, and so good job!…” and then I said, “Good job!…
What a brilliant test!…” and then the boss grinned and said, “I like this guy!…
And so because I like him I’m gonna offer him a job!…
And, so; Mr. saw-person, would you like to be the person who brings the drinks that people order to their tables?…“ and then I said, “Sounds good to me!…” and so I immediately got to work!…
And so before long the next drink that was ordered was made, and I happily delivered it to a person who was sitting at a table and waiting for it!…
“Thanks!…” said the person; and then I grinned and said, “You’re welcome!…
And I hope that you enjoy the drink!…” and then I returned to wait for the next drink to be made so that I could deliver it too!…
And so ever since that glorious day I’ve been bringing drinks to people’s tables, and life has been a merry dream for me!…
Oh!, and it’s almost Christmas now too!…
Just a few more days and Christmas day will arrive!…
But, anyhoo; I’ve gotta get to work now!, and so wish me luck!…
Not that I’ll need it, of course…
I mean, working at the coffee shop has been going so splendidly so far that I’m sure that it’ll continue to be nothing but non-stop fun today!…
Woohoo!…
Time for another epic day of bringing coffee to people in the coffee shop!…
Let’s goooooooooooo!…
