Introduction
Let's see.. welcome y'all for being my (oops! sorry, couldn't think of any appreciative words..) fellow partners who willingly took on this journey that goes through my head and heart. I couldn't think of any appreciative words because you are the one who truly know the 'you'. I think whatever appreciative words I give you will only be defining you from my perspective and will or may eventually end up becoming your identity. I have no right to judge who you are anyway and I believe it's right for one's identity to be created by themselves or so i think. I can say all I want like great, wise and beautiful readers but it's all subjective and has shallow or deeper meaning depending on the person.
Anyway, for late introductions, I'm Kiara. As you may have already guessed I'm an overthinking and guarded person. My name means I will shine through, which I think may not be like the Sun but may be like the quite and strong fireflies at night that illuminates subtle glow like a bright moon on a void, dark night. Well, that's what I mean *corrections* my name means. It may or may not be true which you will eventually find out through this journey. In this process, I do hope that you find yourself too maybe a little bit atleast. I can assure you that with little to no experience of living or existing or surviving, whatever you call it, in this earth by being barely in my twenties no less, I have no clue who I am. In truth, I may know a little about myself but that's it. Like me being an overthinker, introvert or maybe ambivert .. well .. as I said I still have so much to discover about myself. I may not be able to discover my full potential or true personality in the entirety of my lifetime but I can confidently say one thing, that I'm comfortable with who I am.
But I do not mean that I don't welcome changes that are good for me with open arms.. but the thing is that I don't or can't possibly know what is actually good for me, right? So, I tend to be over conscious. I neither create problems nor avoid them, I vehemently ignore them since I, in my heart and mind, know that it will pass in time, as the saying goes, "time heals everything" right? But, I recently had a change of heart and want to try facing them head-on.
As confident as it may sound, I still doubt myself whether I can live up to this new agenda or "rule". I don't particularly mind even if I can't live up to it, but I still want to keep this unspoken promise to me, because if not me then why would others? Well I mean, if I'm not true and accepting of myself then how else would i be able to find courage in trusting or having expectations that others should treat me right. Where else would I be able to find such a person that will be willing to be for me when even I can't be sure of it. Do you get it?
I am willing to learn now, I might not have been this eager until now, about people and their thoughts to prompt any behaviors and reactions. I still don't actually care that much..hehe. It might be a hard and confusing journey but still I'm willing to give it my all to learn people if so not understand. I will try to make this journey as enjoyable for you as I can with every kind of events, gatherings and people being on different difficulty level and I think, I will also be able to make this lighter and comfortable for me this way.
Hope to find you here again to check up on how I'm doing.
